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Leaving the kids at home - selfish?

(47 Posts)
laluna Sat 08-Oct-11 17:18:26

The opportunity has arisen for DH and I to go away for 4/5 nights with our best friends to visit Dubai. My DD is 10 and DS is 5. We have only been away together from the children for one night and that was in feb for my 40th and they slept over at SIL's. My M&d have offered to have the children - we did not ask them - they offered - but on their terms (ie during the week in term time which is fine).

So are we being unreasonable in having trouble in deciding whether to go? We are very hesitant in leaving the kids (know deep down they will be fine and are happy with my parents looking after them) but just uncomfortable in being away from them. On the other hand I think it's for less than a week, the children will enjoy time with my parents because it will be the second time ever that they have stayed there and life's too short - just want to cherish some good times with our best friends. Am I selfish?

goinggetstough Sat 08-Oct-11 17:20:06

No not selfish at all. Go and have a lovely time. I am sure your DC will have a super time with their grandparents.

Oakmaiden Sat 08-Oct-11 17:20:18

Oh my goodness - just go!!!

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 08-Oct-11 17:20:20

YANBU to be concerned if you've never done it before. But you know what they say... 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'. They'll have a great time. You'll have a great time. And when you all get back together again you can swap notes and be a more interesting family for half an hour.

hellhasnofury Sat 08-Oct-11 17:20:30

They get a holiday, you get a holiday what's selfish about that?

Trills Sat 08-Oct-11 17:20:54

Not selfish. They'll have a good time with their grandparents. They won't be suffering through you going away.

(although you haven't actually asked if you are being unreasonable)

Hassled Sat 08-Oct-11 17:21:37

Oh I think you should go. My only caveat would be if you know that you will spend the whole week fretting and feeling guilty to the extent that you won't enjoy it at all, then it's just not worth the upset. But you shouldn't fret or feel guilty - they'll have a great time, and it will be good for you and your DH to spend some quality time together - and the whole family will benefit from that.

crje Sat 08-Oct-11 17:21:50

Please do go-I think its great that kids see their parents do things for them selves too.

eaglewings Sat 08-Oct-11 17:23:40

What a great chance, grab it!

BadRoly Sat 08-Oct-11 17:23:53

I would go. We left dd1 and ds1 with grandparents to go skiing when they were little. Go and have a fabulous time and come home feeling all loved up towards your dc wink

mylittleponypinkypie Sat 08-Oct-11 17:25:04

My mum used to go away when i was young (with work)
The only time I cared about was when she missed my birthday, and my grandparents didnt have internet.
But on the plus side, it was lovely seeing my grandparents, and my mum always got us something nice on the way back, and it was great picking her up from the airport smile
YABU to think you're selfish though X)

laluna Sat 08-Oct-11 17:26:15

Thanks for replying - let the saving commence!

anewyear Sat 08-Oct-11 17:26:55

Will your parents be taking the DC's to school if its during term time?

I only ask, because there is another thread somewhere on AIBU, where someone wants to take their kids out of school during term time with people telling her she was BU to take them out during term time??

zukiecat Sat 08-Oct-11 17:27:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

laluna Sat 08-Oct-11 17:28:12

Yep - they live locally so will be doing the school run.

Kayano Sat 08-Oct-11 17:32:21

GO!!!! grin

squeakytoy Sat 08-Oct-11 17:37:51

Well I wouldn't consider it for a second. Not saying you are selfish, but I always though that my time to do things without my DC would come when they were grown up and left home

It doesnt always work out that way though, for many different reasons. Children who know they are loved and cared for will never begrudge their parents having some time of their own. Most would look forwards to their own adventure away from home, and the present that they will get when their parents return.

I know a few examples of parents who put their lives on hold for the sake of their children. It wasnt always appreciated, and as the parents found out, it was no longer possible to do the things they had the chance to do, but put on hold at that later date.

I say go for it while you can.. you are not neglecting your duties as a parent, so go and enjoy it!

hellhasnofury Sat 08-Oct-11 17:42:11

One day in the not too distant future teh kids willbe fully grown and making their own way in the world. That's often the time you sit opposite DP and think 'Who the hell are you and why are you here'. I wish I'd listened to those folk who told us the kids would be fine, would still speak to us, and wouldn't be damaged forever if we took a few days away together every now and then. We went for the first time three years ago when the kids were 17 and 19. Luckily we found out we still liked each other but I wish we'd given more time to each other earlier. Yes our children are important to DH and I, they are our world but our relationship is important too and it deserves our time as well.

PowderMum Sat 08-Oct-11 17:49:09

Not selfish at all, if your parents are happy and able to look after your kids and your kids are happy with their grandparents then go for it.

DH & I had a lovely weeks' holiday earlier this year with friends during term time and our girls were more than happy to stay in the UK with their Grandparents. No school or clubs were missed as fortunately my parents and other family all live close and all work together

Andrewofgg Sat 08-Oct-11 17:50:00

Go, GO, GO - don't ask about it - don't worry about it - just bloody GO!!

PowderMum Sat 08-Oct-11 17:50:32

Sorry I don't mean work as in a job together but that we all help each other out so that everyone gets as many opportunities and as much fun as possible and so that all the cousins grow up close.

exoticfruits Sat 08-Oct-11 17:58:54

Not selfish at all-lovely for DCs and grandparents to have time alone without you-some parents never give them chance. I agree with hellhasnofury-it all goes in a blink of the eye and you are left with DH-you need to still know each other!

exoticfruits Sat 08-Oct-11 17:59:23

Don't overthink-just go!

TheFidgetySheep Sat 08-Oct-11 18:00:08

Hells bells - what a brilliant opportunity.
Valuable time with grandparents is a wonderful thing for children. Spending time with their elders is a rare thing.

Of course you and Dh having some fun and keeping your marriage strong is a very positive side effect.

Kick2down Sat 08-Oct-11 18:01:24

Well, you're not planning to lock them in a closet with a box of cereal! Go on - they'll be fine with your parents.

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