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To make DDs use their Birthday money to replace their lost oyster cards

(67 Posts)
twoteens Sat 08-Oct-11 14:10:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty Sat 08-Oct-11 14:12:40

YANBU at all

11 and 8 times is utterly ridiculous and if you'd taken this stance a long time ago, I'm sure it wouldn't have kept happening.

cricketballs Sat 08-Oct-11 14:15:21

I would! I have told my youngest that if he loses any more school sweatshirts then I am selling his xbox to fund the replacements grin

Wurg Sat 08-Oct-11 14:15:36

make them pay half towards it this time with a warning that they'll cover the full cost if it happens again.

I've had mine for over five years..

3littlefrogs Sat 08-Oct-11 14:15:57

I agree, YANBU. They lost them 8 and 10 times respectively??? I would be furious, and TBH I would have made them buy their own after the first time.

Did you register them?

The only thing I would ask, is are they being stolen? The amount of theft that goes on in my dd's secondary school is shocking, but the school will not provide lockers/secure storage.

cece Sat 08-Oct-11 14:16:23

YANBU - I would have done it a long time ago.

twoteens Sat 08-Oct-11 14:29:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MilkNoSugarPlease Sat 08-Oct-11 14:32:28

Do it.

I lost mine constantly when at school until mum made me pay....funnily enough I didn't lose it after that!

Rosa Sat 08-Oct-11 14:34:10

YANBU at all . Make them pay and again and again until they learn

Andrewofgg Sat 08-Oct-11 14:34:24

YANBU. They are old enough to accept responsibility.

Sirzy Sat 08-Oct-11 14:34:25

Yanbu they need to learn to take responsibility

NatashaBee Sat 08-Oct-11 14:34:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LineRunner Sat 08-Oct-11 14:35:41

I posted on MN a while ago about my daughter's endless mobile phone loss sagas. The advice I received was really good and it worked. It was basically, toughen up. If you arrange for a replacement tell her that this is the last time - and mean it. I have also told my DD that once the contract is up, she's paying for her own PAYG. (She does get an allowance.)

Extrapolating this to you, you need to be tough! The girls need to know that enough is enough, they are throwing money down the drain and you will from henceforth expect them to fund their own carelessness. Although their having a small allowance for incidentals would assist in making this happen.

But you might want to put them on a 'Final Warning' and/or make them pay half, as Wurg suggests.

hermioneweasley Sat 08-Oct-11 14:36:43

My mother's favourite phrase - "that was an expensive lesson". Always had to pay for the (very few things) I lost.

wellwisher Sat 08-Oct-11 14:36:48

YANBU (though won't older DD need a new one anyway now that she's 16?).

Trills Sat 08-Oct-11 14:39:00

YANBU to make them pay but at their ages I think they should be getting regular pocket money so that they learn to budget and plan. If they understood the value of things they might be a bit more careful.

twoteens Sat 08-Oct-11 14:40:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BOOareHaunting Sat 08-Oct-11 14:41:40

YANBU, I am charging DS (7) 50p everytime he comes home from school without his coat and/or jumper.

That way I can replace them when required.

He left one at school 3 days ago when he came out without jumper or coat in the rain which he now can't find.

Hatesponge Sat 08-Oct-11 14:41:44

YANBU - DS1 (13) is on his 4th oyster card; first one he snapped (had it in his pocket while paying football!) managed to get it replaced free. Second one he lost - he paid. Third one stopped working, so they replaced that. Now on the 4th one, he knows if it breaks he won't get another free one, so he will have to pay, same as if he loses it. I don't think that's unfair. He has definitely been more careful with it since he had to pay for the 2nd one.

lesstalkmoreaction Sat 08-Oct-11 14:43:20

Can't believe they haven't had to pay for replacements after the 1st one went missing. Can they not be kept safe in a purse or clipped inside a school bag, flipping crazy losing them more than once.

Pandemoniaa Sat 08-Oct-11 14:46:19

11 replacement cards is ridiculous. Your dd's are taking enormous advantage of your good nature and it needs to stop. Apart from anything else, they need to gain some sense of personal responsibility before they (shortly) go out into the adult world.

Tell them to pay for any replacement cards out of their own money and you might consider telling them that if another card is lost, they can waste hours on the phone to TFL arranging for a replacement. Do not let them duck out of this by giving them the bus fare either.

I know this might sound rather harsh but my dsd was a great one for "losing" things. Purses were casually left on buses, essential bits of school kit got "put down somewhere in Brighton" and it wasn't until a much harder line was taken - and she was inconvenienced by her disinterest in looking after her possessions - that she started being careful. She's now just brilliant, completely independent and thoughtful and can't believe she was once so irresponsible.

twoteens Sat 08-Oct-11 14:50:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shodan Sat 08-Oct-11 14:54:34

I got so fed up with ds1 losing his things that I instituted a onestrike rule. Basically, if he lost it once, he paid for a replacement.

He has never lost anything since, strangely!

Get very tough. They're taking the mickey.

bonkers20 Sat 08-Oct-11 14:56:34

Def. make them pay. My DS (age 12) used plenty of his own money to replace lost uniform and PE kit last year. It soon sinks in (nothing lost this term so far!)

I pay for things he needs and extras he wants, he pays for things he loses. Seems fair to me.

PurpleCrazyHorse Sat 08-Oct-11 15:08:25

I always had to pay for replacements if I lost anything (single parent family and therefore no money to cover my disorganisation). I am now very good at keeping track of my belongings and I am shocked at how DH isn't very good at this (his parents sorted everything out for him). You're actually not doing them any favours at all by letting them off, you're teaching them a very valuable lesson.

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