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To think my mum could at least tell me how long her visit is for...

(10 Posts)
FagAshLill Sat 08-Oct-11 14:07:09

She's just called to say she is coming up to stay - ok fine. On wednesday. Bad choice - I'm at college till 6 and cant afford to miss it as starting on 2 new projects that day and cant afford to be behind. I have furniture, carpets, paint being delivered, I'm decorating towards the end of the week, have school meetings for SN son and doctors and dentist appointments.

Now she's throwing a tantrum because a) I said I'm not going to miss college at such short notice and b)if she could come up the week after as this week is just too short notice.

I also have to budget in another mouth to feed and keep mum entertained and occupied which means days out, shopping trips etc etc which I cant afford right now but can in a couple of weeks when I get a little more money in the bank.


worraliberty Sat 08-Oct-11 14:10:50

YANBU if that's the sort of relationship you have

I would have looked at my Mum visiting that week as a Godsend because she'd help me with it all.

FagAshLill Sat 08-Oct-11 14:15:03

I feel awful for asking her to make it another time but she's just told me to Get Lost now because I mentioned that she wont be able to come up at the end of the month because she's going away and I have stuff planned and paid for for the kids.

I keep saying that any other time would have been fine, just not this week.


lesley33 Sat 08-Oct-11 14:34:00

In these situations I would say fine of course you can come. But remember I will be at college, I have some meetings with the school, dr and dentist arranged and I am having a some furniture delivered. But we could still see each other in the evening. Or you could come next month when I will have more time to spend with you - but whichever suits you.

I think YABU not to put off decorating for a few weeks.

But tbh my mum wouldn't have told me to get lost.

Flisspaps Sat 08-Oct-11 14:35:26

YANBU. You don't have a tantrum and tell your DD to get lost just because she asks you to come and visit at a more convenient time.

Trills Sat 08-Oct-11 14:41:45

SIBU to announce that she is coming to stay rather than asking.

Andrewofgg Sat 08-Oct-11 14:45:31

Actually YABU - for not telling her whether she can come at all and if she can for how long. Take control of your life and your home.

whathappenedtom Sat 08-Oct-11 14:48:15

YANBU. Your mum id dictating to you, instead of asking you if its ok.

FagAshLill Sat 08-Oct-11 14:48:29

I'm feeling conflicted now.

Guilty because I told her to make it another time and if she could give me notice first I would appreciate it but also downright relieved now she doesnt want to come up.

I would move heaven and earth for her if it was an emergency but it's not. I'm trying to get it through to her that it isnt because I dont love her or want her around but because she has picked the worst week ever. I called her earlier in the week to make sure she is taking her meds and explained that I was really busy this week so she knew before hand but probably forgot.

I'm guess I'm a bit pissed of at being expected to drop everything because she wants to come up and not even say how long for (last time it was 3 weeks) at the drop of a hat.

FagAshLill Sat 08-Oct-11 14:53:32

Hang on Andrew, I did tell her she couldnt come up this week but was welcome any other time.

I did suggest she comes up for christmas but she huffed at that and then suggested that she comes up in Nov instead but that's not good enough either.

She wanted to come up at the end of the month but I reminded her SHE is going away that week for 2 weeks with family.

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