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About Holidays??

(10 Posts)
Voidka Fri 07-Oct-11 17:43:44

I have posted about this before but I dont know if my anger is making me unreasonable or not.

DH can be a bit rubbish at being a family - doing things or days out seem like a big effort and if he can get out of it he will.

Both of our boys have birthdays in March and we normally go away instead of having parties. This year DS1 wants to go to Butlins (last few years we have been to CP). DH said he wouldnt go, saying he was 'busy'. How he would know this 6 months in advance was by the by. I know what it really is is that he doesnt want to go on a family Butlins holiday because its 'scabby' and 'full of idiots' (his words)

Anyway I have recently been given some money by my DF (£1000) on the condition I spend it on something for the children rather than bills. I have decided to take the children to DLP as they are all big fans of Mickey Mouse/ Special Agent OSO. We are going in June.

DH has decided that he is coming along because it will be great fun. AIBU to think he shouldnt get to pick and choose the fun bits? I dont exactly relish the thought of Butlins, but the kids want to go so thats good enough for me.

LindsayWagner Fri 07-Oct-11 17:45:26

Yanbu. He's acting as tho he is the third child in the family, albeit a teenaged one.

squeakytoy Fri 07-Oct-11 17:52:30

Not sure really... a family holiday should be one that everyone wants to go on, including the adults. However I would be tempted to tell him, if he wants to come, he can pay his own way grin

Voidka Fri 07-Oct-11 17:54:43

I always pay for the family holidays and I have no problem with him coming - I just hate how he picks the bits he wants to do because they are fun, or things he would choose to do pre-DC's.

roisin Fri 07-Oct-11 17:58:25

YABU. Family life is about compromise.

I've done plenty of things with the boys - as has my dh - that I wouldn't ordinarily choose to do. But I have my limits and so does he.

I think Butlins would be beyond the boundary for me (and dh as well). I just know I would loathe it, then I would be grumpy and miserable. Dh is like that with theme parks these days too. It doesn't make us bad parents though; there are things I'm willing to do and things I'm not.

worraliberty Fri 07-Oct-11 18:01:51

So your DH didn't mind Centre Parks but doesn't like Butlins?

I don't think that's any reason not to want him to go to Disney Land Paris? confused

Who arranged the last few holidays? Do you think it's more the extravagance of taking your children on holiday to celebrate their Birthdays rather than the actual place?

HornySwoggle Fri 07-Oct-11 18:04:14

Well I would rather dig my eyeballs out with a spoon and ask Satan to piss in the holes rather than go to Butlins so i can totally understand your DH's point of view on this one.

Then again, you'd have to pay me/threaten me to go to DLP too so many you're not being unreasonable?

Voidka Fri 07-Oct-11 18:10:28

I organise the holidays and days out - the only holiday DH has organised ended up being a disaster.

I organise and he decides whether he will be coming with us or not.

Voidka Fri 07-Oct-11 18:16:59

Also its not sometimes me, sometimes him that takes them out. He wouldnt dream of taking them out on his own, says its too difficult.

In the summer holidays we were planning to go to a local farm park. I had a really nasty bug and felt awful. The children spent the whole weekend upset because we couldnt go and he went to watch football at the pub.

happyhorse Fri 07-Oct-11 18:36:23

Well, speaking as someone whose DH is also a bit crap at being a family, I'd say YANBU. If you didn't make an effort I bet you'd just be sitting around at home all the time doing nothing.

The only holidays we've been able to afford this year have been camping and as DH 'doesn't do camping' I've had to take DS alone. I'm sure he'd muster up some enthusiasm for Disneyland though. I think it's a selfish mentality. When you have a family it should be about being together and making some great memories - it shouldn't matter where you are.

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