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to not invite cleaners grand daughter to DD's birthday party

(111 Posts)
soandsosmummy Fri 07-Oct-11 15:46:29

Hardly dare post this in view of the other birthday party thread but...

cleaner has LEFT A NOTE saying that she saw DDs birthday party invites were on the desk and her grand daughter was staying with her that weekend as her mum would be recovering from an operation and it would be lovely if she could come along.

Very fond of cleaner and she's been with us for years now but not sure about this. Apart from anything else DD's never even met the girl.

WWYD invite her along or just never mention it again? (DD will be six and cleaners grand daughter is 5) Should I invite her anyway? We're doing it at home so could probably fit in a extra but it will be a bit weird for her not knowing anyone

BoysAreLikeDogs Fri 07-Oct-11 15:47:01

YABU for having a mummy NN


bloody cheek! if you are on social terms with your cleaner invite them over another time so the dc can play together.

soandsosmummy Fri 07-Oct-11 15:49:16

my mummy is lovely confused

wellwisher Fri 07-Oct-11 15:50:31

How many children will be at the party?

scarlettsmummy2 Fri 07-Oct-11 15:51:59

I would invite her- what harm is it going to do?? maybe the poor women just wants her grand daughter to have a nice weekend and spend time with other children.

I would invite my cleaners grand child, even though we don't socialise together, simply because I wouldnt want her to think her grandchild wasn't good enough to be friends with my daughter. You run the risk of being seen as a snobby cow.

valiumredhead Fri 07-Oct-11 15:52:46

Yes invite her, the more the merrier imo.

soandsosmummy Fri 07-Oct-11 15:53:29

about 20. 1 extra isn't going to make a major difference In a way I don't mind if she comes specially as she'll want her mind taking of her mum not being well, but will be weird for dd to have someone she's never met at party.

feel almost compelled to ask her now

oh dear

pippilongsmurfing Fri 07-Oct-11 15:53:49

If you don't socialise with the cleaner then I don't see why you should have to invite her DGD.

But, if it doesn't put you out and if your daugther doesn't mind it might be a nice thing to do for the other little girl.

I think I would go with whatever my DD wanted, it's her party afterall.

She means a 'mummy' nickname. Some people feel that names with 'mummy' in belong on netmums, not mumsnet. I had a name with mummy in and no-one ever took me seriously, so I decided to change it!

blush if that was aimed at me I wasn't meaning to sound snobby, I meant that if you were friendly enough to want to invite cleaner and DGC over at another time so as not to compromise the party and risk DGc feeling left out in a crowd, easier to join in when only two of them. nothing to do with being good enough

WilsonFrickett Fri 07-Oct-11 15:55:08

She's probably worried about filling the entire weekend with her DGD, as well as being worried about her own DD, so on that basis you would be doing her a kindness to say 'yes, come along', particularly as it's at home, you can fit her in and your cleaner will probably be clearing up the mess from it.

FunnyLittleFrog Fri 07-Oct-11 15:55:32

Maybe the cleaner is thinking that it will take her granddaughter's mind off the fact that her mum has just had an operation.

gethelp Fri 07-Oct-11 15:55:59

Will she come and do the clearing up?wink (not the child)

Bloodymary Fri 07-Oct-11 15:56:44

Yes I would invite her, little girls of 5 and 6 will always get along.
I think it would just be a nice thing to do.

unfitmother Fri 07-Oct-11 15:57:02

She'll probably help tidy up. wink

scarlettsmummy2 Fri 07-Oct-11 15:57:24

oh, I didn't realise I was giving the impression of being a thick chav. Maybe I should change mine to clairellb1st.


NestaFiesta Fri 07-Oct-11 15:58:14

Invite her. It's kind.

Invite her. Kids mix really well so I'm sure before you know it her and DD will be getting along famously.

of course you dont have to invite her but her GM prob just wants her to have a nice weekend and it would be a nice gesture.

carabos Fri 07-Oct-11 15:58:27

Hmm, tricky. if you don't socialise with the cleaner and you've never met the DGD and she won't know anyone then it's really over- stepping the boundaries a bit cheeky of the cleaner to leave you the note. However, if you are relaxed about it, why not.

I think the cleaner has possibly put you in a difficult position and if it were me, I'd be mighty cheesed off.

Oh and I don't know if you are being unreasonable. On one hand she won't know anybody so may not enjoy it much, but OTOH it may be a nice way to cheer her up and make some friends!

soandsosmummy Fri 07-Oct-11 15:59:54

oh why not I'd want someone to do the same for DD if situation was reversed.

I hope i'm not being snobby I was just trying to see it from little girls point of view as well.

I'll be doing the clearing up though cleaner comes on Fridays party is on a Saturday - no way am I leaving the detritus of a birthday party for her to deal with nearly a week later

wellwisher Fri 07-Oct-11 16:00:23

I think the cleaner has overstepped the boundaries here - not because she's a cleaner, just because it's an odd thing to do. The most she should have done is mentioned that she has her 5YO DGD this weekend as a hint to you to ask her, not asked outright, let alone in a note!

If you feel odd about having the little girl at the party, it would be nice to invite her over to play on the other day of the weekend (the non-party day) - just say you don't want her to feel left out at the party where the other children all know each other already, so it's better she comes on her own for a proper playdate.

Pagwatch Fri 07-Oct-11 16:00:46

Tbh if it was a party for a 10 year old and there were half a dozen of them I would say politely explain no.

But tbh a party of 20 5 and 6 year olds I would let it go and invite her.

marcopront Fri 07-Oct-11 16:00:48

If it helps my DD is having her 5th birthday party this weekend and we have invited her nanny's two children. I've never met them and may not be able to speak to them, we live overseas and I don't know if they speak English.

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