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To be quite saddened by this?

(12 Posts)
rhondajean Thu 06-Oct-11 22:05:18

Ive been reading a lot of threads the last few weeks, and posting on some. Id like to point out this is NOT about any one in particular, but just a general overview thats come to me.

There are an awful lot of women out there with very low self esteem. It seems as if a lot of us dont feel as if we have the right to be happy, to do things for ourself, to be treated well, to BE really.

Maybe I shouldnt take it to heart but it makes me feel really sad that here we are all these years one with all this equality legislation etc supposedly in place and still there are so many of us that dont believe we matter except as part of someone else's life - mother, partner, whatever we are.

Should I just get over it and toughen up?

SecretNutellaFix Thu 06-Oct-11 22:07:51

All very well to say that. reality is far from simple.

AnyCorpseFucker Thu 06-Oct-11 22:09:53

Yes, you should really

Can you find any way to do that ?

Even in a small way ?

GumballCharm Thu 06-Oct-11 22:10:45

I agree to some extent but I do think that on here you're not getting a realistic picture....some people post during a particularly bad day and some people seem to use MN for special ranting or complaining purposes....if you looked at a forum full of men, you might get a similar picture.

KatieMiddleton Thu 06-Oct-11 22:11:14

Where have you been looking? If it's relationships and mental health or anything to do with birth, feeding or working you can expect to get a bit more of that but if you stick to chat and erm, telly adicts and slebs you'll be grand.

Kayano Thu 06-Oct-11 22:11:23

It's sad but a lot of women let themselves be defined by their various 'roles'. Mother, wife etc. Each person is different though shrugs

Men have their roles too

KatieMiddleton Thu 06-Oct-11 22:13:16

Try the feminist section. Very few wall flowers there.

rhondajean Thu 06-Oct-11 22:13:47

Think Katie is making a fair point - I tend to like AIBU because there are also good debates on here - and I am slow at getting round the boards.

I think you can usually tell the difference on a long thread with a discussion between the "ranters" (been there done that meself) and the ones who really are low though.

<mooches off to look at telly addicts......>

belledechocchipcookie Thu 06-Oct-11 22:14:06

There's a lot of posters on here with low self esteem because in real life there's a lot of people with low self esteem. There's not a lot that you can do about it unless you're willing to train as a therapist. I blame the mothers. Mothers are often very critical of their daughters.

gethelp Thu 06-Oct-11 22:16:05

There don't seem to be solutions to some problems, just more of the same. It is depressing. But it's great to feel like you're not the only one who's struggling.

aldiwhore Thu 06-Oct-11 23:08:41

I do think many women beat themselves up far too much. I don't know the remedy for that and sometimes its not a bad thing, just an out-of-balance thing.

But yes OP I do think its really sad. However, I know many many women on here and in RL who kick ass and aren't struggling... so maybe its simply more obvious on a forum as people speak their thoughts more? KatieMiddleton is right, the very nature of "AIBU" is based on a kind of self doubt sometimes... it has very overt extremes, on one hand, its a place where happy confident women simply double check themselves and have lighthearted banter (AIBU for dribbling tap water all over the loo seat so they know how it feels, for example) on the other its bound to be the place where people who really are suffering genuine confidence crises come too.

margerykemp Fri 07-Oct-11 08:04:30

We have been conditioned to believe we arent good enough. We need to find a way not to repeat this cycle with our dds.

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