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AIBU?

My 11 year old DD racially abused on way home from school

29 replies

scattermummy · 06/10/2011 14:30

Yesterday on her way home from school while walking across a car park ,she was rounded on by some older boys and called a Paki repeatedly.IBumped into her on the way home and she was crying.
I gave her loads of hugs and told her the usual spiel about how these people are stupid and ignorant and to be pitied,but I feel just so outraged and hurt on her behalf.
This happened to me growing up and I thought we had moved on.
I'm gutted that I can't protect her from this.She has been called the odd name at school before and it has always been sorted out,but somehow it is worse when you are on your own and just walking along the street.

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havinhoops1974 · 06/10/2011 14:31

thats awful im really sorry for your DD

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kneedeepinthedirtylaundry · 06/10/2011 14:32

Were they boys from her school?

I also had that shit growing up, so I know what you mean. I hope she's OK.

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booyhoo · 06/10/2011 14:33

so sorry to hear this.

does she know what school these boys were from? were they in uniform?

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Dawndonna · 06/10/2011 14:34

If the boys were from her school, report it to the school, they have to follow it up.
I'm sorry this has happened to your daughter, I'm olive skinned, and have had it too. It's awful.

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ItsGrimUpNorth · 06/10/2011 14:34

Scum. They are scum for doing that to your dd.

Get her enrolled in karate or some such self defense class.

And change her route home if possible.

It makes my blood boil to hear stuff like this going on.

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troisgarcons · 06/10/2011 14:34

I would report that to the police, regardless if you can identify the boys or not. Very sad for your daughter; I had hoped we lived in a more enightened and tolerant age.

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SardineQueen · 06/10/2011 14:35

Would there be CCTV?
Could you report it to the police?

This sort of thing is highly illegal and it might help your daughter to recover if she felt that the police would look into it (even if nothing actually comes of it).

Your poor poor DD.

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girliefriend · 06/10/2011 14:36

Does she know these boys?

Horrible thugs, I would be tempted to have a word with the police tbh.

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DEADTiredmumno1 · 06/10/2011 14:45

That is disgraceful, i really do hope you report, and hope your dd is ok today.

The mentality of some idiots today is outrageous

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Pakdooik · 06/10/2011 14:46

Dreadfully sorry to hear that. Report it to both the school and the police

Bastards!

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porcamiseria · 06/10/2011 14:49

awww thats shit. I always assume that racism occurs less these days and my black and asian friends are keen to tell me otherwise

bless her, its a horrible part of growing up

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MarginallyNarkyPuffin · 06/10/2011 14:54

Poor thing. Definitely report it to the police.

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yippeekaiyay · 06/10/2011 14:55

your poor DD

Its so sad that she has had to encounter this type of vile disgusting racism

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TheTenantOfWildfellHall · 06/10/2011 14:58

That's awful. Hope she's feeling better now. Sad

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scattermummy · 06/10/2011 15:12

Thanks so much for all your kind words of support.They were not at her school.They were not wearing uniform,not hard to imagine that they were either excluded or playing truant.
She said that she saw some policemen in the car park and that she wanted to tell them,but was worried that they might tell her off for wasting their time.
I'm afraid that I cried with her as we cuddled.
I did not report it to the police as I thought they would be gone .
It is hard for my DD as she is the only one of my 4DC's to be dark skinned.Her 3 brothers are all White.I am the same skin colour as her and their dad is White.
We live in Newcastle and we have encountered virtually no racism so have been lucky so far.

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SardineQueen · 06/10/2011 17:24

There's nothing wrong with crying with her.

You could still report it to the police, it might make you feel better. If there was a policeman nearby he might have seen them before / afterwards, he might even have known who they are.

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morkcallingorson · 06/10/2011 17:48

I am so sorry for you and your DD, OP. I had this growing up and it is just so demoralising and dehumanising. It's not as if you can do anything about the colour of your skin. I worry about my DC going through this, we live in a predominantly white area and they are mixed race.

All you can do is be strong and supportive for her (sounds like you are doing just that) and to report any further incidences to the police/school. I would definitely tell the police; the racism apart, this a girl being surrounded by older boys and physically and verbally intimidated/threatened, which is an assault, even without physical contact. If it happens again (and I really hope it doesn't) or happens to someone else, at least there's a record of the incident.

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NunOnTheRun · 06/10/2011 18:08

OP, I am so sorry for your DD Sad.

Idea: A car park would very likely have CCTV cameras - is there any chance of obtaining a copy of the relevant tape asap? (

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maypole1 · 06/10/2011 19:21

Sadly the fact your other dd are white skinned won't save them from this they will undoubtedly face what my White oh which is even worse


People making racist comments thinking they are White and up for. Bit of paki bashing


Very sad though I would celebrate her dark skin and show her all the beauties their are in the world who look exactly the same as her

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ByTheSea · 06/10/2011 19:24

I'm so sorry this happened to your daughter (and to you in your life). There is no excuse.

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WishIwereAtTheWiesnProst · 06/10/2011 19:27

I'm so :( for you dd.

It's too bad that she is too young to see that they are doing her a favour by letting her know who the real wanksocks of life are so she doesn't waste her time on them.


It really must have hurt her (and you to see), give her an mumsnetty hug from all of us.

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CheerfulYank · 06/10/2011 19:32

Poor little girl! Am furious on her behalf!

I'd definitely report it in some way.

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flippinada · 06/10/2011 19:36

I am so sorry this happened to your DD scattermummy and I feel furious on her(and your) behalf.

There are just no excuses and nothing at all which justifies this kind of behaviour.

Sadly it does not surprise me; I am from Newcastle and while it is a lovely place there are some real pockets of ignorance and prejudice..even in the 'nice' areas.

Do have a think about going to the police. Even if they can't do anything it might help your DD.

Thinking of you both.

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Blu · 06/10/2011 19:39

Poor girl - and what shameful behaviour - some parents have children who should make them shrivel in shame Angry

How is her self esteem and confidence generally? Tell her that racist name calling like that is a hate crime. that the government considers her protection and freedom from such stuff is so important that they have made it a crime, and that she is NOT wasting the police's job if she reports things like that. In fact she is doing them a big favour ebcause pelople who behave like that may well be commmitting other stupid or eveil crimes, too.

Maybe mention what happened to her school, as well, so that they are aware and can watch out for her feeling upset and vulnerable about the incident? t's possible that they haven't thought of her as being potentially vulnerable to this sort of thing.

Disgraceful.

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jollymary · 06/10/2011 19:45

This is awful, poor girl. Please report to school if you can. Big hug to her. x

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