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Or how can I get out of this without being unreasonable?

(23 Posts)
notso Thu 06-Oct-11 12:43:39

I am pregnant with DC4. Pregnancy was unplanned, dont yet know how far I am could be anything from 6-12 weeks. It will be a shock to our families and we want to wait for the scan before we announce.

BIL, wife and their 2yo and new baby are staying with PIL. I still have a lot of baby stuff here and MIL asked if they could use some of it while staying. Of course was happy to help but made it clear was going to sell the stuff so needed it back.

BIL's wife and their baby love the crib, swing and a rocker thing. MIL has phoned and said BIL wants to buy them off us for £60.
For one thing £60 is nowhere near what I could get for them if I was selling them, but I will need to use them myself, and from past experience they will come back broken or not at all if I just say I will lend them the things.

How can I come out of this without looking either greedy or mean or without having to reveal the pregnancy before I am ready.

themightyskim Thu 06-Oct-11 12:45:03

How about telling them that you are planning another baby in the non too distant future? or you have promised to lend it to someone that cant afford their own so cant?

onadifferentplanettoday Thu 06-Oct-11 12:46:22

Could you say you have already promised to lend them to someone else so can't sell them ?

meditrina Thu 06-Oct-11 12:48:41

The only thing I can think of is to say you're ever so sorry but the items are already promised to someone else (who really really needs them, is broke,lay on sob story with trowel). You'll probably need to go and retrieve them sharpish, to be on the safe side. As this is the it second DC, they've probably got most items or a pool of parent friends from whom to seek hand-me-downs so I don't think your doing them a dreadful disservice.

Later you can reveal that the person is you. Congratulations!

notso Thu 06-Oct-11 12:49:15

I just think they will think I am back tracking as I made it so clear I was selling the stuff so as to try and avoid this situation.

steamedtreaclesponge Thu 06-Oct-11 12:49:42

Yep, just say you've promised them to someone else. No need to go into details.

steamedtreaclesponge Thu 06-Oct-11 12:50:58

Ah, x-posted. That's a bit more tricky. Can you say you were going to sell them but someone else asked for them first? Even if they are a bit miffed, it's only going to be for a few weeks until you reveal your pregnancy and can explain.

hairylights Thu 06-Oct-11 12:51:25

Tell her you've already promised it to someone else who wants to buy it.

notso Thu 06-Oct-11 12:53:21

They have loads of money and could easily buy it themselves, they just don't like spending it. They use their carrycot as a crib and the car seat as a chair.

Thanks for the Congratulationssmile

SenoritaViva Thu 06-Oct-11 12:54:42

Say 'yes' I am selling the stuff and that item has already been sold but since it was to a someone I know who is still pregnant I cannot sell it to SiL. The pregnant lady didn't mind me lending it to SiL in the meantime.

(It's kind of true, just that you are the pregnant lady and so it's not quite being 'sold').

SenoritaViva Thu 06-Oct-11 12:55:07

to a someone? to someone of course

And congratulations!

HamstersDontSwim Thu 06-Oct-11 12:55:41

I would say that a friend has given you some money for the crib already and that she is in real need of it, you didnt want to take her money for it but she is proud [getting carried away with the lie now!] and she will need it in the next week as she is due soon.

It is yours and you dont have to lend it to anyone so dont feel bad, just tell them to look on ebay for one of their own smile

notso Thu 06-Oct-11 12:58:45

X-posted. Yes I suppose they should understand when they hear the news. Didn't think of that, thanks steamedtreaclesponge.
You are one of my fave pudding btw.

tigermoll Thu 06-Oct-11 12:59:10

I think you can just say you have promised them to a friend, - even if BIL and wife are a little hmm and privately say 'that's weird, why didn't she want us to have them?' in a few weeks (a very few, if you could be 12 weeks pregnant) then you will Reveal All, and everyone will go 'ahh, I understand'. You can then say, 'V sorry about the cribt etc, but as you can see, I need them, and I didn't want to say anything too soon'.

TheControversialJessie Thu 06-Oct-11 13:01:43

I'd go with "Prior arrangement made with another buyer, BIL, sorry", as others suggested.

Otherwise, say you can't afford to offer such a discounted price, even to a relative, and name a f*&k off hugely inflated price instead. Then, go get that crib!

PigletJohn Thu 06-Oct-11 13:01:52

"I'm sorry but I promised it to another mum who is pregnant again and really can't afford to buy new" sound perfect to me.

Not to mention true.

DeWe Thu 06-Oct-11 13:02:37

You've offered it to someone already. They'll have finished with it by the time you'll need it. wink

notso Thu 06-Oct-11 13:04:07

And thanks others.
I am so desperate that DH and I don't come across as incompetant fools over this pregnancy when it is so obvious it was unplanned. We had DC1 unplanned 11 years ago, when I was 19, I feel we should know better by now! Especially as I have recently been discussing safe sex with her.

LydiaWickham Thu 06-Oct-11 13:04:54

I agree, someone else who really needs them and you've already promised.

TheControversialJessie Thu 06-Oct-11 13:06:55

Tell everyone you got really broody while you were listing on ebay, thus leading to passionate lurve?

AltMama85 Thu 06-Oct-11 13:07:15

congratulations mama!!!!! ok baby may not be planned etc etc but an amazing blessing nonetheless, four kiddies HIGH FIVE!

LydiaWickham Thu 06-Oct-11 13:07:16

Well, I'd claim that I did plan this DC then, but say you didn't want to let on you were trying because you know some many woman who were trying for a long time in their late 20s/early 30s and didn't want the extra pressure of people asking if you were pregnant yet.

notso Thu 06-Oct-11 13:18:18

Aww! Thanks all, I am excited about this DC now I have got over the shock.
I know everyone will be fine once the baby arrives but am just remembering how with my first pregnancy 'the baby' was the elephant in the room nobody talked about, and if it is anything like my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies it will be a massive elephant, I was huge!

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