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AIBU?

Leaver daughter in the playground?

33 replies

Fairyloo · 06/10/2011 09:12

My dd is year 2. For me to be on time for work I need to leave school at 8.56 school starts at 9am.

Aibu to leave her with friends in playground? I was thinking of saying to one of the other mums can you just keep an eye on her? It's too late for before school but makes me feel uneasy just leaving her

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 06/10/2011 09:13

Does the school have a breakfast club?

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biddysmama · 06/10/2011 09:14

at ds's school you can leave them from 8.45 as thats when a teacher starts playground duty

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KatAndKit · 06/10/2011 09:15

If school starts at nine I would expect duty staff to be out on the playground at ten to to supervise the arrival of the children. If there are teachers in the playground then you can leave her. Ask the school.

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UniS · 06/10/2011 09:16

What time do school have a member of staff in teh playground? in many school this is 10 mins before start of school. If no member of staff then yes I'd ask friends parents, can you offer something in return, an after school pick up somedays or walking to school on a non work day.

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Pavlovthecat · 06/10/2011 09:19

It depends on
a) how well you know the other children's parents
b) if the school gates are secure when you leave
c) the size of the school
d) how your DD will manage without you there.
e) is she likely to try to leave and follow you? are there teachers on hand to stop her

I personally would but, it is a very small school, the current policy is that we must leave our children at the gates and say good bye now anyway to help with safety issues so the reality is that we leave DD there at 8:45am and the bell goes at 8:50am, by 8:50am, we are not meant to be in the playground any more. DD is in yr 1. For 10 mins the children now run in the playground and there are two teachers and two TA in the playground.

When DD was in reception and we all waited in the playground with the children, there were two children in her class who were dropped off 10 mins early and another parent just took their stuff in (they were of course asked by the parent of the child being left).

It so much depends though on the set up of your school playground area.

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Ungratefulchild · 06/10/2011 09:21

I've just started leaving my P2 son in the playground at about 5 to 9. He's very sensible and there are lots of other mothers outside the school gates. He's also happy to be left. I didn't think twice about it tbh? Does that make me very lax?

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planetpotty · 06/10/2011 09:23

I would talk to work and ask if you are allowed to start at 0905 add the 4 mins on at the end of the day or take it out of your lunch hour. A good boss would say 4 mins here or there I can cope with.

Dont know a lot about it but have heard of "flexible working for parents" banded about at work might be worth a google??

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aldiwhore · 06/10/2011 09:23

I'd ask another parent if they'd mind just keeping an eye out for her for those few minutes. DS is Yr 3 now and I drop and go (in order to get my youngest into pre-school on time) but realistically I could have done that last year, so YANBU.

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MissIngaFewmarbles · 06/10/2011 09:24

I have a dd in yr5 and 2 dds in year 3, I drop them off at the gate. Having said that our school only allows this from year 3 onwards. Depending on how sensible and confident your dd is I dont think its a ,assive problem

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efeslight · 06/10/2011 09:25

you need to talk to the teacher or head and get some clarity on the rules, its an idea to ask another mum, but what if she gets a phone call? her son or daughter is suddenly sick, they rush to the toilet and your daughter gets forgotten... I think these informal arrangements can sometimes lead to misunderstandings...i agree it depends on the school, are any other children left and do the school know about it?

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Pavlovthecat · 06/10/2011 09:25

I am sure that a teacher would be happy to hold her hand for 5 mins. Kids love to walk with the teachers and she could help ring the bell if they have a real one, or just walk around with her. It won't stop the teacher being able to do their job.

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Fairyloo · 06/10/2011 09:26

@planetpotty work would fine and are really flexible they let me work through lunch to pick her up. It's the train times. I would miss the train and have to wait an hour

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Chopstheduck · 06/10/2011 09:28

I'd ask a few parents, approach a group and ask them. so one person doesn't get the sole responsibility every day.

Our playground is supervised from ten minutes before the door opens, but I won't leave my Y2 dts until I see them in the door because with so many people coming and going it would be far too easy for them to slip out unnoticed. I have asked parents to watch them when I needed to leave early though, and they were happy to.

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yippeekaiyay · 06/10/2011 09:28

I leave my yr 1 ds in the playground at 08.40

Are you really worried about 4 mins in the playground alone?

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sunnydelight · 06/10/2011 09:32

Check what time the school thinks is acceptable. If school starts at 9 I would certainly expect four minutes before to be ok - our school playground is supervised from 8.15, parents are encouraged to leave their children by 8.50 at the LATEST so they have a bit of time to play before the 9am start. The majority of kids at our school arrive by bus though so they don't really like parents hanging around.

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Fairyloo · 06/10/2011 09:33

Yippee

I do t know guess I am as feel I should. I know she will be fine. Very sensible and
Likes it makes her feel grown ip

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planetpotty · 06/10/2011 09:33

Oooohhh riiiight then thats much more of a pickle.

DSDs school have recently reminded in newsletter that DCs not to be left alone in the playground and the start time is the start of care for the child not before. But if there is a member of staff in the playground in the morning at your school then Im sure if you explain for the sake of 4 mins they will be fine about it, or one of the other parents but on a more formal arrangement so maybe her best friends Mum or a childminder that is there for others kids anyway that you drop a tenner a month or something. Just ideas not sure if will fit your situation :)

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GumballCharm · 06/10/2011 09:35

I think you're right to think about it....personall I would ask the HT about the rules...it may be tht you're not supposed to until year 5 but I could be wrong. Some schools seem more relaxed...my DDs school is hysterical about the DC safety and kids are nont allowed to be left until year 6 nor are they allowed to come alone till then.

If the HT says its not allowed, I wouldn't feel comfortble asking another Mum unless I knew her very well....plus what if she isn't there one day?

I would try to arrange a minder for the morning myself.

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notso · 06/10/2011 09:48

Given the small time, I would speak to your boss first.
I arranged to miss my morning tea break when I couldn't leave DS until 9.00 but was supposed to start work at 8.50.

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TheTenantOfWildfellHall · 06/10/2011 09:59

Can you speak to her teacher? I've had a couple of children who had to be dropped early for one reason or another, they just came into the classroom and read/sharpened pencils/had a chat with me until it was time for everyone else to come it.

Although at that time, there should be staff on the playground anyway, or at least standing at the entrances to stop children wandering back out again.

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verytellytubby · 06/10/2011 11:37

I wouldn't be able to leave my sons (also year 2). No common sense! Speak to the teacher or parents at school. I'm often left with a child as the parent rushes off and I don't mind.

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Hardgoing · 06/10/2011 11:49

Children all over Europe manage to walk to school aged 6/7 without their parents. In the UK, we don't even trust them to stay in the playground without us for five minutes. At our school, we are allowed to leave the children at 8.40 when a teacher is in the playground up til year 2, then after that it's up to the parents how to handle it. I think by 6/7, most sensible children can be left (unless there is a specific reason why they are not sensible/couldn't handle it).

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LingDiLong · 06/10/2011 11:50

In your circumstances - i.e. no teacher on the gate, no I wouldn't. I wouldn't leave my 6 year old anywhere else alone for 5 minutes either. I would ask a parent though, you could always offer to have their child back for tea once a week or so to return the favour.

At our school we have a teacher on the gate 10 minutes before school starts but I have seen people leave their children in the yard before the teacher gets there - and have also had to run after a yr 1 child (who I didn't really know) who decided he was going home. Me and another mum had to try and get him back into school.

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Abra1d · 06/10/2011 11:51

I think I would trust a year two child to stay in a playground for four minutes without trying to run away! Why wouldn't you?

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ragged · 06/10/2011 11:55

I had a daft y2 child who couldn't be trusted, Abra1d, and yes he'd go nuclear at other times for no good reason, too. Not easy to fix.

I had 2 sensible children I easily could have left daily, no problems.

Depends on the child, ime. But ideally I'd like to ask other parents or the teacher to watch out for them, too. We don't have a culture of adults expecting to watch out for small unaccompanied children any more.