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for feeling resentful

(10 Posts)
laptopdancer Wed 05-Oct-11 20:12:18

I work in a job I hate. I am really really unhappy there and its started to tell on me physically as well. I feel trapped as we need my job.

My husband has his own business and , while I totally understand how difficult it is and how long the hours are; he does have a lot of personal freedom and is able to dance to his own tune. (I say this with a little guilt as he does work very hard).

Thing is, he does admit that me having my job makes his life so much easier and that he can choose not to take jobs now and then because of the security it brings. My wage pays the mortgage and all the household bills.

Im starting to feel resentful and like an enormous pressure is on me to be doing this job that is destroying me. We discussed me leaving and he seemed ok but then looked shocked that I was considering resigning and said he thought I wouldnt really do it.

I should add Im not a work shirker. Ive worked for over 20 years.

MissPenteuth Wed 05-Oct-11 20:24:24

YANBU, nobody should have to do a job that they hate. Is there any possibility of changing jobs (either same job elsewhere, or train to do something different)?

laptopdancer Wed 05-Oct-11 20:26:15

I would like to go freelance, its what Ive wanted to do but I have that pressure. Its not what I do, its working for other people and working where I am. Ive trapped myself into a nice income if that makes sense

MissPenteuth Wed 05-Oct-11 20:34:04

Well, I'm sure you know this already but you really need to tell your DH exactly how you feel and have a proper discussion. It sounds like he's currently getting his way while you are forced to do work that makes you unhappy, which really isn't fair to you. Ideally there'd be some kind of compromise; is there any way you could do your job part-time while you put the feelers out for freelance work?

bananatrifle Wed 05-Oct-11 20:36:58

Just wondering, on this topic, how many people out there are lucky enough to love the job their in?

bananatrifle Wed 05-Oct-11 20:37:21

Good god - sorry - they're not their.

laptopdancer Wed 05-Oct-11 20:38:13

I love what I do but hate the environment in which I work. And the people i work with. And the fact its an hours drive from home.

MissPenteuth Wed 05-Oct-11 20:45:09

I was in the same situation a few years ago. Boss was a tyrant, commute was 75 mins. It was making me miserable. So I quit, but I was lucky that we were able to survive on DH's salary plus some of our savings while I looked for another job. My new job was 15 minutes' drive from home and the people were much nicer.

Not many people love their jobs, but there's no reason to endure absolute miser, unless there are no other jobs out there of course.

MissPenteuth Wed 05-Oct-11 20:45:22

miserY, even.

gordyslovesheep Wed 05-Oct-11 20:46:26

no one should spend their life in a job that makes them feel shit - 20 years of working - maybe another 50 ahead - get out!

so no yanbu to be resentful - but don't wallow - ACT.

I love my job - sadly David Cameron does not and I have 12-18mths left before my profession disappears for good x

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