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AIBU?

To think that actually im anot being pfb about this?

16 replies

gigglepin · 05/10/2011 17:06

My 2 sisters each have a child.
I have a child and there is only about a year between these kids. Ds is 8, dn is 8, dn is 9

My sisters always face at me becuase:
A) Me & DH do not swear in front of our ds
b) dont let him stay up joining in to a grown ups evening (beyond 11pm sometimes)
c) Dont let him watch such things as celebrity juice & dvd's for aged 18.

They really disaprove and think that i am not allowing him to become street wise and that i am being over protective & precious with my son.

I disagree becuase i want him to be a kid and learn these things as he gets older, he may even know some fruity language now...but not from us!
He has years & years & years for all of that surely?
So AIBU?

OP posts:

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ihatecbeebies · 05/10/2011 17:08

I think you are being completely reasonable, I don't let my son do any of those things either, and I have friends who let their children stay up partying with the other adults and I always think they are being unreasonable.

Sirzy · 05/10/2011 17:08

The only one I would compromise is the staying up one. Perhaps not til 11 though and would depend on the day and occaision.

pictish · 05/10/2011 17:08

Yanbu - I'm with you. Our eldest is 9, and I have him in bed during the week at 8.30 sharp and 9 at weekends. he is not allowed to watch 18 films or play 18 games either.
He's perfectly street savvy for his age thanks.
As you say....plenty of time for all that yet.

pictish · 05/10/2011 17:10

I think it's a mistake exposing kids to adult themes they are not able to comprehend fully yet.
Let kids be kids and their thoughts and ideas be appropriately childish.

slavetofilofax · 05/10/2011 17:10

YANBU, but your sisters are displaying very lazy parenting.

SuchFunSuchFun · 05/10/2011 17:12

YANBU. Sounds perfectly Reasonable to me,
a) You don't want your child to think that swearing in everyday conversation is normal, seems fine to me
b) You don't let him stay up till gone 11pm!! Why would you? Surely you want some adult time yourself in the evening, and you don't want a grumpy tired 8yr old the following day
c) You don't let him watch things designed for people more than twice his age and maturity, again, I'm not seeing the problem here.

IMHO it sounds more like they are far too lax with their children than you are too strict.

(Although My DC1 is due in 3 weeks so it's all still theory to me at the moment!! )

WilsonFrickett · 05/10/2011 17:14

I don't think you are BU, although I would occassionally bend on the staying up late, depending on what the ocassion was, if there were other DCs there (so I wouldn't be in charge of entertaining him).

But when I say 'occasionally bend' I think he's been up after 11 three times in his entire life (all on holiday).

I try not to swear, don't always manage it and I am completely dogmatic on certificates - I won't let him watch a 12 and I'm very careful with PG's because - I am the P so I need to do the G.

Having said that, each to his own I suppose - I just don't think a street savvy 9 yo is what I'm after - I'd rather he enjoyed his childhood.

NinkyNonker · 05/10/2011 17:15

All fine bar staying up, we were allowed to on the off occasion when we were that age and it was never abused. I don't mean as a matter of course obviously.

Eglu · 05/10/2011 17:16

I think you are being a good parent. The only exception is that my DSes 8 and 4 are allowed to stay up late at parties. Until midnight sometimes. But obviously not on a school night.

NinkyNonker · 05/10/2011 17:16

Sorry, odd occasion.

AMumInScotland · 05/10/2011 17:16

YANBU - but parenting is one of those things where you'll suddenly realise that people close to you have weird ideas, and you'll wonder how on earth they can be so wrong, specially when you are related to them.

NinkyNonker · 05/10/2011 18:13

They'll probably wonder the same thing depending on who is defining wrong!

ImperialBlether · 05/10/2011 18:15

They sound really lazy, tbh. Take absolutely no notice at all.

gahhteenagers · 05/10/2011 18:19

streetwise = pregnant by 15.

worraliberty · 05/10/2011 18:21

YANBU but please try not to go down the competitive parenting route...especially with siblings.

It's tiresome for the rest of the family and no good ever comes of it.

Just agree to disagree and raise your children how you see fit.

ragged · 05/10/2011 18:22

I would like to hear your sister's side of this, tbh. Have a feeling they would have a rather different perception of where your boundaries lie and what it means for family gatherings.

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