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to feel a little bit sad when people describe their babies as 'naughty' etc.

(50 Posts)
JaneFonda Wed 05-Oct-11 16:34:54

I probably am BU, but I hear a lot of mums saying how their (sometimes newborn) babies are being 'naughty' by crying a lot, waking in the night etc.

Maybe I'm just being oversensitive because I would love to have my little girls at home waking all hours of the night for me to look after them, not a doctor!

It just makes me feel a bit funny, and most of the times I've heard it it's not been meant in an endearing way, more of a way that the baby is inconveniencing them a lot. sad

TheProvincialLady Wed 05-Oct-11 16:37:02

I don't get it either, but then I tend to assume that anyone who doesn't expect a baby to behave like a baby is a little bit thick.

StrandedBear Wed 05-Oct-11 16:37:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SenoritaViva Wed 05-Oct-11 16:40:27

I think the are using the wrong word. Hard work, demanding, clingy are all good ones (e.g. baby is a lot of hard work at the moment, crying a lot at 2 AM) etc. but yes naughty isn't a word I'd use.

You probably are being sensitive as all you want is your babies home, I can totally understand that. Really hope you have this opportunity very soon...

pommedechocolat Wed 05-Oct-11 16:41:08

I use naughty a lot as an affectionate term with my toddler. Only problem is the other day I wanted to use it 'properly' and it didn't work. May have to stop!

I don't think it is ever meant in the way it would be with a 6/7 year old when it is said of babies. Just despairingly because lack of sleep and difficult feeds are hard!

Sirzy Wed 05-Oct-11 16:43:27

Although I agree with you now. When they are playing up and your knackered though rational thinking about what is actually naughty is far from your mind!

Sirzy Wed 05-Oct-11 16:44:13

And I hope you get the babies home soon. Any sign of that happening?

nickelbabe Wed 05-Oct-11 16:44:56

I don't like it either.
Naughty is a willfulness of being annyoing, or badly behaved.
a baby can't even have a concept of it!

yanbu

happy2bhomely Wed 05-Oct-11 16:46:32

I asked a mum at the school how her 1 yr old was. I said she was a little cutie and had got so big. She said "she's a little bitch. She doesn't stop moaning and won't leave me alone." I was gobsmacked.

JaneFonda Wed 05-Oct-11 16:49:44

Thank you Sirzy smile

Unfortunately not just yet, things were really looking up but both girls took a turn last week, (within a few hours of each other sad), so although they are no longer in immediate danger it just feels like a big step back. Hence why I may be being oversensitive to silly little things!

NinkyNonker Wed 05-Oct-11 16:50:07

I agree, it is loaded terminology. Likewise when anyone asks how dd sleeps I always respond "like a baby"... in other words sometimes brilliantly and others not so!

pigletmania Wed 05-Oct-11 17:18:27

I used to say that dd 4.5 was a difficult baby, she was. More than normal, later transpires she has sn (dev delay) and some autistic traits

AlpinePony Wed 05-Oct-11 18:10:35

Yanbu. I have a friend who calls her daughter a 'brat'. sad she is nothing of the sort.

ImperialBlether Wed 05-Oct-11 18:13:25

I think a better expression is 'a party girl' or a 'night owl'.

I'm really shocked, happy2behomely, at the woman you were talking to. That's an awful way to talk about any child, never mind her own.

NinkyNonker Wed 05-Oct-11 18:14:26

If pressed I would just say dd wasn't a fan of sleep!

IneedAbetterNickname Wed 05-Oct-11 18:16:01

YANBU I nearly started a relationship with a man until he called his 1 yr old DS a little shit, his argument was that DS doesn't understand it! I agree that babies can't be naughty, but think it's people using the wrong word. Hope you get your babies home soon

whatever17 Wed 05-Oct-11 18:16:18

I really hate when people label their young children. Especially multiples - ie Sue is Athletic, Jane is Pretty and Ann is Adventurous.

Drives me nuts.

Also, I hate it when people say children are naughty rather than that their behaviour is naughty.

NO - to labelling.

ChitChattingWithKids Wed 05-Oct-11 18:16:49

I just used to say my DSs were driving me around the bend through lack of sleep. It was true!!!! It wasn't their fault though.

Imnotaslimjim Wed 05-Oct-11 18:18:45

Happytohomely, you don't know my sister do you? The amount of times we've had words over her calling her DD (who is a lovely girl, if a bit clingy) a little bitch amongst other things!

My auntie used to ask "is the baby being naughty for you" when I complained of tiredness. I'd reply "no, she's being a baby!"

AvonCallingBarksdale Wed 05-Oct-11 18:22:37

YANBU - someone at school has a 4month old, who is, apparently very easy. I asked how things were going, and the mum replied, "Oh, she's so well behaved, she's never naughty." find that a confused way to talk about a tiny baby!

pigletmania Wed 05-Oct-11 18:30:19

whatever I totally disagree, of course a child can be naughty, must be do to the naughty behaviour hmm. I think that a lot of parents whose children are being bullied might disagree with you.

pigletmania Wed 05-Oct-11 18:30:44

I hate this all children are little Prince and Princesses nonesense.

spugglers Wed 05-Oct-11 18:36:12

Like a previous poster said, sometimes it is said tounge in cheek. When dh phoned earlier and asked after the children I said ds2 had been naughty, he hasn't really been naughty he is just a baby what I really meant was that I have found him hard work today.

I think we are a generation of people who over-analyse everything people say or do. I would never say to a mother at the school gates that my baby had been naughty because I know that she would judge me for it whereas when our mothers were bringing us up they would have said it and nobody would have batted an eyelid.

VikingBlood Wed 05-Oct-11 18:36:43

I've been calling DS (21m) a nutcase for a while now.

whatever17 Wed 05-Oct-11 18:36:52

Piglet - really? "Naughty" is a bit all encompassing though. What if they are a good boy on Tuesday but naughty on Wednesday. Are they a good or bad boy - or just a boy who has been good on Tuesday but naughty on Wednesday?

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