To think my fat neighbour has been stealing from me?

[CheesyWotzits]

My milk has been going mising from the doorstep and apples have been going missing from our trees.

Our neighbour is very fat and I have often caught her peering over the fence. With halloween coming up our pumpkins will soon be ready, I'm worried she'll steal them too... Aibu to confront her?

[DooinMeCleanin]

Fail.

[TLD2]

If she's "fat", surely she couldn't get over the fence?

Weird post, if fat is the cause of suspicion.

[Monty27]

Fail

[stepawayfromtheecclescakes]

big fail

[ColdSancerre]

Apples make you OBESE not just fat. Get it right. Suggest you repost the thread appropriately.

[fourkids]

what colour tops does your milk have?

[happymole]

Big fat fail

[FetchezLaVache]

Nice try, no frothing beserker.

[TheProvincialLady]

I read it as you caught her peeing over your fence. Now THAT would have been worth posting about.

[SnakeOnCrack]

yeah, that was me sorry

[biddysmama]

fat people and their milk and apple addictions

[celebmum]

I don't get it?!

[CheesyWotzits]

They are big apples & full fat milk. She may be large but boy is she quick.

[DooinMeCleanin]

Op - you're doing it all wrong. this is the bit where you meant to come back and either a) start posting random and hillarious but nonsensical musings or b) get all offended and start drip feeding us more twaddle to support your theory.

You're not meant to disappear, where's the fun in that?

[DooinMeCleanin]

Ooh x posted. There you are, that's better.

[TheVermiciousKnid]

Too right! Those nasty fat people, we all know that they eat all the time. It's only logically that they would steal from their neighbours if they can't get their fat little fingers on any food in their own homes.

Right, I'm off to raid my neighbour's fridge.

[JustinBoobie]

[fourkids]

just full fat?

if you change to gold top Jersey milk quickly she get too big to vault the fence by Halloween...

[CheesyWotzits]

Her fingers are not what I would call little... Have also found some footprints around the kitchen window.

[HullEnzia]

If she's fat then it's obviously her. Leave a chocolate bar on the grass and watch from the window as she scales your fence to grab it.

[ScarahStratton]

Poor fat neighbour. YABU to only get milk from the milkman. She needs a bit of variety or her diet will plateau.

[whomovedmychocolate]

I am your neighbour and never mind the apples, have you not noticed your cat is missing om nom nom

[HullEnzia]

I reckon she's a cat. Only a cat could be fat and quick at the same time - and that would explain the milk.

[DooinMeCleanin]

You set up an elaborate trap a la mousetrap using a choclate cake for bait.

I used to have mousetrap. My sister deliberately lost all the parts because she wasn't allowed one too