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To not go to baby/toddler groups at the moment?

(12 Posts)
littlepiglet Wed 05-Oct-11 10:34:11

My DD (14 months) is very sociable, and loves other children (I'm nowhere near as sociable as her - in fact very, very shy), and most other children are also wary as she bounds up and hugs and kisses them.

She likes baby groups (which I HATE), but do take her to a few, and I used to take her to the Bounce & Rhyme sessions - which I loved. I've given up the Bounce & Rhyme, as I'm very heavily pregnant & have SPD (as well as arthritis in my back, which has worsened), and although they provided a couple of chairs, they were for the use of the two grandmothers who attended (not sure why they come above a heavily pregnant mother in pain - especially as at 41 I'm closer in age to them than the other mums). Sitting on the floor was impossible, so I stopped going.

Asides from the odd group, DD does see other children, in the form of friends whose babies are the same age as her.

I've now got to the stage where it is getting impossible to go to any groups. I'm in a LOt of pain, find walking difficult, have constant braxton hicks, and as well as anaemia, I also have a heart complaint, which is making me increasingly breathless, and running after DD at these events is just impossible, and making me increasingly bad-tempered.

I have a friend who wants me to go a group. I've explained that I don't feel up to it, and that I'd rather just do home visits, but she'd rather go out. She's offered to help with DD at these events, but there is still an element of walking to get there, and I just wheezy walking upstairs (let alone feeling my insides are falling out).

I don't want to ruin DD, by my wimpishness, but at the same time I've been pushing myself, and then become shorter tempered at home, and have less energy for her at home, which upsets her.

There is a strong possibility that I'll have another caeasarean, and I know therefore that DD will miss out for a few weeks, so I don't know what to do, and feel so damned stressed

worraliberty Wed 05-Oct-11 10:35:43

I never bothered with any of those type of groups, always felt they were over rated.

ThatsNotMyBabyBelly Wed 05-Oct-11 10:36:56

Could anyone take dd for you to a group? I would do that for a friend anyway, especially a heavily pregnant one with other health issues!

booyhoo Wed 05-Oct-11 10:38:48

you know yanbu. those groups aren't compulsory. you can start back once you feel able to. dont feel bad about this, there will be far more to feel guilty abour throughout your time as a parent, this isn't one of them.

lightroom Wed 05-Oct-11 10:39:13

Don't go. Hang out with DD at home and don't beat yourself up about it.

CamperFan Wed 05-Oct-11 10:41:40

Your DD will be fine not going to any for a while, just don't worry about it! She sounds confident and and happy, and not going to groups for a while won't change that. You're not going to be running out and about with a new baby in tow either. Just chill at home for now. Tell your friend you're not up to it, and suggest again that she pops over. Or find another, more understanding, friend! smile

Laquitar Wed 05-Oct-11 10:44:35

You don't 'ruin' your dd !!!

These groups are so over rated. They are good only if you enjoy them. Many parents don't. It doesn't make any difference to the baby.

I would try my luck re home visits with some other friends.

Please take it easy smile

pictish Wed 05-Oct-11 10:45:36

This is not an issue, don't worry.

If you're not up to it, then don't go. There will miost likely come a time in the future when you feel more motivated again....but even if yuou don't, it doesn't matter as much as you think by far. Lots of parents hate the damn things and don't attend at all.

I go to one tots group a week, but I know and like everyone who goes, and I am not pregnant - my youngest is 2 and a half.

I used to go to a weekly music group as well, but despite their being a waiting list for places at it, I ditched it. I cba pretending to be a bunny or whatever at 9.30 in the morning. Meh...

pictish Wed 05-Oct-11 10:46:27

there not their

Laquitar Wed 05-Oct-11 10:53:32

And your dd will do all sorts of activities when she is older and makes the most of the 'activities'. Trust me, you will have plenty years of ferrying her around to music and sports. For now save the fiver.

umf Wed 05-Oct-11 11:02:45

Rest! Stop fretting! Spd is dreadful, and if you do things that hurt you are making it worse.

aldiwhore Wed 05-Oct-11 11:07:26

Your child will not suffer if she doesn't go to these rubbish and overpriced groups. You will suffer if you do go.

Don't try and be a martyr, a 14month old can have fun away from groups! It will not hinder your child in anyway... its she's going to be a world class drummer when she's older, then she'll be one, whether she goes to Bounce and Freakin Bash sessions or not.

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