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A relative pinched my 14 month old baby on her face

(533 Posts)
Snickers25 Tue 04-Oct-11 22:20:17

My partners sister pinched our baby on the face, causing a bruise that lasted 10 days. I saw the aunt pinch my daughter just as I walked past the room. I assume my baby might have pinched her first (but that's no excuse as the aunt is 43 and my daughter is only 14 months old). My baby daughter screamed in pain and sobbed for several minutes afterwards. As soon as I saw it happen I scooped her up and removed her from the room but now I don't trust this woman with my kids. I have 3 Pre-schoolers and this aunt has moved in with us for 12-18 months!
I didn't say anything to the aunt at the time as I was too shocked and upset. I haven't mentioned it since & it was 2 months ago. I asked my partner to speak to the aunt (his sister) which he did & she seemed surprised about the deep blue bruise on baby's cheek. He apparently said that only we (parents) are to discipline the children.

My daughter also had a large cut on her top lip a few weeks before (obviously a fingernail cut from the aunt) which the aunt said was caused by baby's fingernail. She had only been with the aunt for an hour. It definitely wasn't from baby as it was too wide/thick to be from a baby's fingernail. I couldn't understand why she would lie about an accident. I wouldn't have been upset/angry about an accident! Why lie about it?

However, I don't trust her now & I sure as heck don't want my kids to have to live with her if something ever happened to me & my partner (that aunt is in our will as being guardian and I want that changed now).
Has anyone else had something similar happen? How did you handle it? Thanks for any advice.

reelingintheyears Tue 04-Oct-11 22:22:12

Tell her to find somewhere else to live.

Pancakeflipper Tue 04-Oct-11 22:24:21

if you think she is hurting your kids then she has to leave.

TheTenantOfWildfellHall Tue 04-Oct-11 22:24:41

I would also tell her to find somewhere else to live.

yellowsubmarine41 Tue 04-Oct-11 22:25:17

From the information that you've given, your partner's sister sounds not very well.

I don't understand your partner's remarks that only parents are to discipline children - surely she/he doesn't think that pinching a baby's face is 'discipline'?

Why has she moved in with you? Does she work? Have friends?

MrBloomsNursery Tue 04-Oct-11 22:25:57

Well no one has ever done this to my DD, but it was done to me when I was a child. I had chubby cheeks and one of my Mum's friend's daughter used to PINCH and BITE my cheeks everytime she met me. This girl was 13 years older than me too. Everyone used to go "aaaww isn't that cute, her cheeks are so chubby", but no one ever stopped it. I ended up hiding from her or covering my face everytime I saw her.

Please, nip this in the bud now. It hurts alot, and it may be out of love, but its not nice. Tell the Aunt to be gentle and to try to understand her own strength. You don't have to be rude about it, but just have a gentle word.

Redbluegreen Tue 04-Oct-11 22:26:17

How does your partner feel about it? I would want her to move out, and would hope your dp would agree to this as well as removing her as guardian.

CocoPopsAddict Tue 04-Oct-11 22:26:26

Seriously, you're letting this woman continue to stay in your house, even though she is hurting your child? You need to get your priorities straight. And change your will asap!

blackeyedsusan Tue 04-Oct-11 22:26:43

change your will aand ask her to live somewhere else.

Faffalina Tue 04-Oct-11 22:27:18

That is really weird.

I wouldn't let her stay.

eaglewings Tue 04-Oct-11 22:28:24

Your kids come first

PattySimcox Tue 04-Oct-11 22:28:54

OMFG she would be out the door and I would be at the solicitors changing the will.

What an evil cow

grumplestilskin Tue 04-Oct-11 22:29:00

get her out! your child can't protect herself from her, its YOUR job to protect her from that sort of thing

reelingintheyears Tue 04-Oct-11 22:29:17

Pinch her cheeks...see how much she likes it.

Toobluntforboss Tue 04-Oct-11 22:29:30

Totally agree with Cocopopsaddict - why on earth is she still living with you if you believe she is hurting your children???

squeakytoy Tue 04-Oct-11 22:30:23

Kick her out immediately and change your will.. why on earth would you not do that?

kelly2000 Tue 04-Oct-11 22:31:11

It is not a case of only parents disciplining children, she pinched a baby on its face leaving bruising? the baby also has other small injuries after being near her? tell her to leave right now, and change the will. If you think she is hurting your children and let her stay you and partner are just as culpable in the injuries.

BagofHolly Tue 04-Oct-11 22:31:54

That's AWFUL! I wouldn't let her in the same building let alone room as a child if I thought she was capable of hurting it! Pinching a baby? Digging her nails in? FFS!

squeakytoy Tue 04-Oct-11 22:33:07

Actually, you are as bad as the aunt, by allowing this to happen. sad

HerHissyness Tue 04-Oct-11 22:33:34

Fucking hell! a bruise that lasted 10 days on a baby?

AND a nail mark? what ARE you waiting for love?

Where the hell is this woman from? No normal person hurts a baby to that extent for crying out loud!

She needs to be out on her EAR this minute!

runningwilde Tue 04-Oct-11 22:34:45

OMG! OMG! OMG! Why is she still in your house?! Seriously?! Why?! This woman is abusing your children. Get to your solicitor tomorrow and change your will and get this crazy woman out and away from your children. All that matters is that you protect your children and her being there sounds very bad for your kids.

Please take this seriously and get her out and change your will immediately

All that matters is the safety of your children

lisad123 Tue 04-Oct-11 22:35:04

tell her this is not on, kick her out and take her out the will. Why is she living with you?? Sounds like she has issues

Pseudo341 Tue 04-Oct-11 22:36:11

You have two incidents where she has physically harmed your children, one when you weren't watching so don't know if it was deliberate or not and once when she thought you weren't watching and you know was deliberate. It is possible the nail thing was and accident and she's too scared to admit it and that she genuinely didn't realize she'd pinched the baby that hard or that it was an inappropriate thing to do but I'm not convinced. I think this is one of those cases where you've got to go with your gut instinct, if you don't feel comfortable leaving her alone with your children then she has to be made to leave, and obviously change your will.

You say you have 3 preschoolers, unless you've had multiple births I'm guessing at least one is old enough to answer a carefully worded question about how they feel about their auntie, if they're frightenend of her they may also be frightened to tell you about it but I expect you can read your own childs reactions pretty well.

UterusUterusGhali Tue 04-Oct-11 22:36:11

Does the Aunt have learning difficulties?

Pinching a child's face is not normal adult behavior.

Please contact social services to get her somewhere to live.

Is there a parent?

BagofHolly Tue 04-Oct-11 22:36:30

And, chillingly, these are the injuries you know about.

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