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to have reservations about sending DS to this half term club?

(11 Posts)
TidyDancer Tue 04-Oct-11 21:34:05

A neighbour has offered him a place at the club run by her youth group. It is a religious group, and is Christian with Baptist leanings (not sure if that part is relevant, but there you go).

Let me first of all say that DP and I have no problem with other people having a belief system. We are both (for all intents and purposes) agnostic, but are not militantly opposed to religion, or anything like that. I mention this because the fact that this is a religion-focused club would not put me off sending DS there, I like him to be exposed to all belief systems, because I want him to grow up with respect for others.

Two things are making me question whether or not to let him go. The first is that I know one of the leaders who interacts heavily with the children was also involved a few years ago when a young friend of mine came away needing counselling after some of the things that were said to her by this man. While I don't know the ins and outs of what was said, it does make me uncomfortable sending my DS to a club where this man may have a lot of contact with him. DS is five, and the friend of mine was 16 at the time, but it's still a concern. It was not an abuse situation, it was some deeply religious comments that seriously put the wind up my friend, and she was very troubled about it for some time.

The second reason is that I know another of the leaders, and she is incredibly homophobic. DS's favourite aunt (honourary aunt, not a sibling, 'supporting adult' in his naming day) is gay and I would not want him hearing anything bad. Again, he is five, and a lot of that crap (if it was said) would go right over his head, but I'm not sure I want to take the chance tbh.

So taking the above into account, WIBU to not send him to the club? We don't have childcare issues, family members will cover us, but I know children really enjoy these clubs, so I would like to let him go to one at some point. Just not sure if this is the right one.... totally willing to be told IABU btw!

TIA.

P.S. Sorry, this was longer than I thought!

Proudnscary Tue 04-Oct-11 21:37:29

It sounds fucking horrific. Of course don't send him - what are you even debating here? confused

TidyDancer Tue 04-Oct-11 21:39:10

Because my neighbour is lovely and I know other children who have been to the club. I know it sounds bad from the things I have said, but it is mainly a play club when they are DS's age. It has a small religious element to it.

rookiemater Tue 04-Oct-11 21:43:58

I know where you are coming from OP. My SIL and family are lovely and their church seemed lovely too - we went on christmas day and I have brought DS along to a childrens puppet thing which was religous. However, and I have never discussed this with them as I just avoid the whole issue, due to their religon they are deeply homophobic, I'm certainly not going to change their mind and they aren't going to change mine.

I wouldn't send your DS to this club, particularly as you don't need to, different matter if he was begging to go there or lots of his friends were there.

Proudnscary Tue 04-Oct-11 21:44:38

But one child was severely traumatised after contact with one leader and another leader is homophobic! Seriously what are you even considering.
So your neighbour's lovely, fine. Make up some jaunty white lie about why he can't go, don't over explain or wring your hands over this, just tell her and be done with it. Rather a tiny bit of awkwardness or your son's head being filled with bigoted shite, no?

Pancakeflipper Tue 04-Oct-11 21:46:37

no, I would not be sending my kids there. They sound mad. Just tell your neighbour no. And it's not a God thing making me say no cos' I like God.

TidyDancer Tue 04-Oct-11 21:51:07

Okay, well thank you, I'm glad to hear no one thinks I am BU.

Rookiemater, you get it. I am really not against him going to a club run by a religious group, and if I could guarantee he would have no contact with those two people, I might be happier with this arrangement.

I will say no, but thank you for the offer.

Proudnscary Tue 04-Oct-11 21:54:07

Ok good for you, glad you've made a decision - though I don't know why you think only Rookie 'got it'. I didn't even mention the religious element, that's personal choice. What I said was abusive leader + one homophobic leader = NO WAY THANK YOU.

TidyDancer Tue 04-Oct-11 22:02:57

Rookie understands the whole situation, that's what I mean. She has been in a similar position, that's all.

I appreciate all the responses. smile

Chundle Tue 04-Oct-11 22:09:08

Yanbu. Don't send the boy find an alternative club for him to try out. Tell neighbour sorry but DH ha already booked him into XYZ club!

TheTenantOfWildfellHall Tue 04-Oct-11 22:13:51

Given the circumstances, I wouldn't send mine there either.

You wouldn't rest and each night that he came home and didn't appear traumatised you'd breathe a sigh of relief and keep your fingers crossed for the next day.

Don't do it.

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