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Banks calling me by my first name

(61 Posts)
sun1234 Tue 04-Oct-11 12:51:05

I just got an email from my credit card company addressing me by my first name. I don't like it. What's wrong with Mrs Sun?

In my head its desirable to have work colleagues and other people who know me use my first name. I am happy that the physiotherapist I see uses my first name and I wouldn't mind if the teachers or school secretaries did it too. Just not credit card companies, banks or other financial institutions (and not the council either). Come to think of it, I don't like it with people representing official bodies who I don't know.

AIBU or am I just getting old?

CoffeeIsMyFriend Tue 04-Oct-11 12:52:22

It seems to be 'The New Thing' - to personalise things.

not sure if you ABU or getting old, wouldnt like to say. grin

sloggies Tue 04-Oct-11 12:53:32

YANBU. Tis presumptious on their part. I am however old....

sun1234 Tue 04-Oct-11 12:53:52

coffeinmyfriend - it could be both!

MorelliOrRanger Tue 04-Oct-11 12:55:33

I agree with sloggies

Ooopsadaisy Tue 04-Oct-11 12:56:13

I'm afraid I completely disagree.

I thoroughly dislike being called Miss Daisy.

My name is Ooops.

I always use first names. Addressing people as "Mr ....." or "Miss ......" sounds so "Downton Abbey" - it makes me giggle.

OneHandFlapping Tue 04-Oct-11 12:58:52

I am old, and I hate being addressed as Ms MySurname. I much prefer Firstname.

sun1234 Tue 04-Oct-11 13:00:24

I always sign myself firstname Surname and I hardly ever use "Mrs Surname" when giving my name but I expect to be called Mrs Surname by strangers, unless its a mum at school or something and then I only give my first name.

worraliberty Tue 04-Oct-11 13:03:00

I think they've probably read MN and realised the whole 'Miss', 'Mrs', 'Ms' thing causes a bit of pearl clutching grin

But YANBU, I don't like over familiarity from total strangers.

Smellslikecatpee Tue 04-Oct-11 13:32:22

I hate, I think it is so rude! and I'm only in my 30's

I hate it even more when I'm calling to complain, don’t come all pally with me matey.

I don't mind if they ask 'do you mind if I call you Smells' chances are I'll say fine. But the assumption drives me up the wall.

But apparently I'm a bit snobby and up myself (according to strange down the road neighbour who told her children to call me Auntie Smells and I said no thanks have enough nieces/nephews already call me Smells)

fedupofnamechanging Tue 04-Oct-11 13:38:28

I like being called by my first name and I would much prefer to call other people by theirs. I don't like formality and distance that using Mr or Mrs creates.

My personal bugbear though is when someone calls me by my first name but would expect to be addressed more formally by me. I used to get this when I was a student and worked in a shop. The manager would call the staff by their first manes but expect to be called Mr X by the staff in return. As if he is more important or something. That royally pissed me off.

I see your point about banks though. They want to come across to you as if they are your friend and you can trust them, when in fact they want to sell you something.

TheTenantOfWildfellHall Tue 04-Oct-11 13:39:07

It's rude. It's intended to draw you in so that you don't perceive the distance between you and them and so that you feel uncomfortable refusing to give them the info they are requesting or whatever.

Don't be fooled into thinking it's innocent. There will have been an occupational psychologist somewhere along the lines paid thousands to advise companies to do this for their own benefit.

fedupofnamechanging Tue 04-Oct-11 13:39:30

manes, should read names obviously

Eglu Tue 04-Oct-11 13:42:52

I hate it. I complained to my bank once because a teller called me by my first name. She only knew my first name as she could see it on her screen, which is not a reason to use it.

What also annoyed me was that very much doubt that the women behind me in the queue in their 60's were unlikely to receive the same treatment. I think she used my first name as I am younger (not that young 34) that she felf she could use my first name.

I just think it is far too casual in that environment.

WRINKLYOLDPERSON Tue 04-Oct-11 13:43:35

I hate it when you get on the phone and it's going to be a long conversation like car insurance and they say can I call you wrinkly? I feel like saying no you can call me Mrs old person and have some respect, but I don't I just say yes blush

WRINKLYOLDPERSON Tue 04-Oct-11 13:44:53

...............although it can't be worse than being called "love" by a sixteen year old in a cafe, especially when you are in your mid forties!!!!!!!!!!

MilicentBystander Tue 04-Oct-11 13:45:03

I'm in the old camp.

I expect to be called Mrs Bystander in these circumstances.

pallymama Tue 04-Oct-11 13:46:23

If I get a call and they address me as Mrs Mama, I'll say, "please, call me Pally", but if they call me Pally to start with, it annoys me! Fussy, me! grin
What really pisses me off though, is patients (not mine!) phoning in at work, and calling me "my darlin' ", or "my love". I want to yell, "I've never even met you, so I'm certainly not your darling!!" angryblush

MilicentBystander Tue 04-Oct-11 13:46:36

karma if he was your manager then erm, yep, he was more important than you hmm.

I expect my children's teachers to call me Mrs too, as I do them.

MilicentBystander Tue 04-Oct-11 13:49:33

One of my children had a teacher who insisted on calling us all, " Mummy".
I said, " You can call me Mrs Bystander " and she replied, " Oh, I call everyone Mummy as not everyone is a Mrs". I said, " No, but I am so you can call me Mrs, thank you ".
I did wonder if I should call her, " Teacher" grin

AbsDuWolef Tue 04-Oct-11 13:53:57

I like it when they start "Ms. Du..." and then switch to "Abs", unlike one airline i'm dealing with at the moment - we've been emailing each other for MONTHS. By now I think the guy should feel comfortable calling me by my first name; we're practically bessie buddies the number of emails we've exchanged.

fedupofnamechanging Tue 04-Oct-11 13:54:10

He is not more important than the rest of the staff. We were all adults and I personally think it is very rude to address someone by their first name if you expect them to call you Mr or Mrs X. It should be first names for all or Mr/Mrs for all. I wouldn't dispute his right as a manager to tell me what to do wrt the job, but I would most definitely refute the idea that being a manager makes him more worthy of respect than any of the other people who worked there.

TheTenantOfWildfellHall Tue 04-Oct-11 13:57:37

My friend recently enquired about joining a gym. Her allocated person texted her about it and about 3 texts into the conversation started putting kisses at the end of the messages.

Now that is over familiar!

cat64 Tue 04-Oct-11 14:09:07

Message withdrawn

whackamole Tue 04-Oct-11 14:15:34

I expect all written correspondence to come to Miss/Ms Whackamole (whichever I used at the time) and that includes emails.

I don't mind if the person I am speaking to on the phone asks to call me by my first name, as I have an unusual and hard to pronounce surname. I don't like it to be presumed though!

I am 29 - am I old yet?? grin

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