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to not send my DS to full time preschool?

(25 Posts)
choceyes Tue 04-Oct-11 11:30:08

I would really appreciate some views on this.

My DS will be 3 in November. Currently he attends private nursery 3 days a week. He absolutely loves it there.

Around here where I live, almost all the kids aged 3 and above, go to preschool (attached to a school) 5 days a week, 9-3. So they do school hours basically.

My DS will be going up into preschool at his current nursery, and I understand that they will follow the same curriculum as the preschools that are attached to a school?

I am reluctant to send him to preschool, 5 days a week (there is no option to go part time). Partly because I like to spend 2 days with him, and also I have a 13 month old DD who attends the same nursery, so if DS goes to preschool 5 days a week, then it's difficult to arrange her childcare around this, as
I work during the hours they are at nursery , and i really don't want her going to nursery 5 days a week too.

I am not intending to send my DD to school based preschool either. She is August born, so I feel that it'll be too much if she has to go to full time school yet another year earlier.

All the mums I meet locally keep saying it will do my DS good to go to preschool 5 days a week, and seems really bewildered why I don't want to send him. I feel like they are judging me and thinking that I am in some way disadvantaging my son educationally.

Will he really be missing out if he doesn't go full time? And this 5 days a week thing, it is not standard across the country is it? I'm sure in other areas it is only part time.

pocketfullofposies Tue 04-Oct-11 11:31:51

No YANBU he won't be missing out if he doesn't go because his needs are already being met elsewhere.

Didn't you post about this recently or was it someone else?

choceyes Tue 04-Oct-11 11:33:17

thanks for your reply posie. I dont' think it was me who posted recently, although this has been on my mind for awhile now, and I wouldn't put it past me to have posted and then totally forgotten it!

ColdToast Tue 04-Oct-11 11:36:01

I don't personally know of anyone who sends their child to pre-school 9-3 5 days a week. It's usually 15hrs a week, so only a morning or an afternoon each day.

Your ds won't be missing out at all.

aldiwhore Tue 04-Oct-11 11:36:55

YANBU. My youngest does 5 mornings at the Foundation Unit of our local primary and loves it. They didn't want to offer part time initially, but as its paid care the governors insisted that an option to only cover the 5 funded sessions was fair.

There's no reason at all why your child can't go part time (or not time at all!) until he's of school age. My child only goes 5 mornings because he loves it, but he's at no major advantage, and wouldn't be 'missing' out if I kept him at home every day. Looking at the children in my older son's class, there's a mix of children who were at home until school, who went to private nursery fulltime/part time or pre-school full time/part time, and at 8 years old they all appear to be pretty equally well adjusted and doing well.

suzikettles Tue 04-Oct-11 11:39:08

YANBU. This was exactly my position.

Ds had been going to private nursery three days a week since 11 months old as I work. When he qualified for nursery provision I just continued to use the private nursery and he stayed at home with me the other two days.

I might have sent him to the state nursery if there'd been one attached to the primary school he was going to, just to help him make friends before starting school, but there wasn't one (was a new school and he's the first year intake) and anyway several children were going to school with him from his private nursery.

Three days was plenty to get him "used" to going to school. Certainly the 5 full days since August hasn't fazed him in the least.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Tue 04-Oct-11 11:42:09

YANBU - he is ony 3..plenty of years for him to be full time when he is at school.

My DS only ever did pre-school 3 mornings per week. The lady who owned it told me he should be going every morning but as my MIL had him one day a week and I used to get one day a week with him I decided the quality time with family outweighed him going to pre-school those extra 2 mornings.

My DS got used to school pretty well, it never did him any harm smile

meravigliosa Tue 04-Oct-11 11:42:13

Don't worry about it. School preschool hours are often useless if you are working. It was only half days available where I am which was no good at all. Both mine went to private nursery and followed the preschool curriculum there.

The only disadvantage can be that children form friendships at preschool which may endure into school proper and make a little harder for the children who join later to break into groups of friends already formed. My DD has not suffered from this at all, my DS may have, but equally they have very different temperaments which I think may have more bearing on the numbers of friendships etc.

CristinadellaPizza Tue 04-Oct-11 11:42:33

Why would you make your kid do 6 hours a day if they didn't have to? DS went to pre-school 15 hours a week and seems to be getting on fine at school. They don't teach them very much at preschool so there is no way it'd affect his educational outcomes!

GoEasyPudding Tue 04-Oct-11 11:44:20

What a shame they dont offer part time for you and your DS.
Theres so much more to toddler life than preschool!

choceyes Tue 04-Oct-11 11:59:31

christnadellapizza - The feelign I get from the mothers around here is that they like having a break from the kids 5 days a week. They often have a younger sibling to look after, so maybe they want to spend more time with them. Although I would have thought they'd miss their older one when they are at preschool all day every day.

MrsBloomingTroll Tue 04-Oct-11 12:58:38

OP, my DD is 3 yo and I also appear to be in the minority for keeping her 3 days a week in private nursery rather than Pre-school. Some of her nursery friends have now left and go to the local Infant School Pre-school instead and some do a bit of time at both Pre-school and nursery.

Having spoken to other nursery mums, their reasons for sending them to the Pre-school were either a) to save money or b) to try to get their DCs into the (outstanding) infant school.

But they all live out of catchment area, whereas we live in the catchment area and should be almost-guaranteed a place. And the headmistress told me that attending the Pre-school made not a jot of difference to admissions.

So if my Dd went to that Pre-school she would still be spending her days with kids who she may well not go to school with next year, and for days/hours that don't suit us as well. Whereas the private nursery runs for full days, including school holidays, and she is settled there. I intend to keep her at the private nursery 3 days a week and we will continue to have our time together for the rest of the week.


4madboys Tue 04-Oct-11 13:02:57

yanbu at all.

my ds4 currently attends pre-school for one day a week 9-3, i would like 2 days a week but there arent the places (tho despite being on the waiting list since 2009 YES someone who JUST moved her has managed to get more sessions that i have....) anyhow at this age i dont think they need full time at all. infact i wouldnt send mine for 5 half days.

he does the full day as logistically its a pita getting there and back at lunchtime as well as 3pm, and 2 full days along with the toddler groups we got to, visiting friends, park etc will be PLENTY.

choceyes Tue 04-Oct-11 13:03:54

bloomingtroll - yes sounds like my situation too. The primary school that is closest to us, within a few streets is outstanding, so everyone wants their kid in there. But I was told going to preschool does not guarnatee a place there, it's more to do with catchment area, so that is a relief.

choceyes Tue 04-Oct-11 13:06:55

We go to a toddler group and a library rhyme time session locally and soon he will be the only child above 3 that will be attending these sessions, so I feel weird going to them, even though I have a 13 month old baby too. Last time I went, before summer hols, everybody assumed he will be going to nursery soon, and I had to do lots of explaning as to why he won't!

valiumredhead Tue 04-Oct-11 13:09:50

YANBU I didn't send ds to full time nursery, he did mornings only. I did have to gently remind the nursery teacher that he didn't have to go until full time school wink

MrsBloomingTroll Tue 04-Oct-11 13:10:57

BTW, one tip is to start retraining yourself to say "DS goes to Pre-School" rather than "nursery". Then you might stop such conversations and feel less like you are being judged. I've been trying to do this.

Also have friends who send their DCs to childminders and they feel even worse about being judged and how their DCs will adjust, but are likewise sticking to their guns.

Francagoestohollywood Tue 04-Oct-11 13:10:58

Of course YANBU, you are only doing what you believe will suit your ds and your family best!

He won't be missing out by going to nursery 3 times a week.

Here in northern Italy nursery school is everyday 9-4, and I'd say that 98% of children take advantage of this facility, but our social structure is a bit different than the UK.

valiumredhead Tue 04-Oct-11 13:11:01

My reasons were he was still very tired in the afternoons and mornings were quite enough especially as he was the youngest in the class because of where his birthday fell.

4madboys Tue 04-Oct-11 13:12:23

yes they do get tired doing the full day, ds4 is always exhausted after his one full day a week,there is NO way he could cope with 5 full days!

Francagoestohollywood Tue 04-Oct-11 13:12:27

Btw, when we lived in the UK I didn't move my dc from nursery to pre-school because they were really settled at their nursery, which also enjoyed a bigger garden and better facilities than the pre-school.

Flowerista Tue 04-Oct-11 13:12:48

My DS just went to reception having done no more than 2.5 days per week. I loved having the remaining time to go swimming, to mother and baby groups or just to chill out and play at home.

They are 14 years in full-time school - I think that's plenty. If that's your preference stick to it. Let the other mums do what they like.

TheMitfordsMaid Tue 04-Oct-11 13:13:39

My DS has just started reception and I resisted pressure from the pre-school to send him for full days. He did 4 mornings a week, with Friday off. I shall do the same with DS2, who currently does 2 mornings at pre-school. I won't increase his sessions until the year before he starts reception.

pranma Tue 04-Oct-11 13:14:03

My dgs will be 3 in February-he does 2 half days at private pre-school now and will go to 3 half days after Christmas.When he is 3 he will go 5 half days at school based preschool [though dd says she will wait till after Easter for this.5 full days is not an option here before reception unless it is a day nursery.

startail Tue 04-Oct-11 13:18:21

DD2 never gave up her Wednesdays at private nursery, she loved it. Still at 10 still talks about it and I kept going with here to toddlers on Fridays rather than sending her to preschool that day. They have years to be stuck in school with exactly the same faces, do what feels right to you and don't feel pressured.

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