I finally have something that has wound me up so much that I must defer it to the hallowed MN jury!
We invited BIL & SIL to lunch this weekend. DH rang BIL to confirm details and, as the conversation was winding up, BIL suddenly slipped in "Oh, you do know X (SIL's sister) is coming." SIL's sister lives near us and they have seemingly invited her over too without so much as asking us if it's ok and had the audacity to TELL us that was what was happening. DH's reaction was to splutter "Oh, er, ok.." or something equally useless, for which I am also quite mad at him.
In order to avoid drip-feeding, a little background: I don't think SIL particularly likes us. She always seems to find some way to avoid spending time with DH's family and has been quite blatent about it before now and it has caused rows with MIL, e.g. going on a holiday that MIL has paid for and then spending the whole time working. BIL is totally spineless and never ever stands up to her but will not tolerate any criticisms. We did invite her sister to DS2's baptism a few months back and they spent the whole party huddled together in a corner and didn't speak to anyone.
Me and DH both agree that SIL has invited her because she doesn't particularly want to be here at all but I think it is outrageous to invite other people to someone else's house and then TELL them how it's going to be rather than having the curtesy to ask the hosts first. As I said, are we expected to cater for her too? Before today, we hadn't even agreed the day yet so how did they know to invite her anyway? DH says this kind of casual invites thing is how their social group operates so it's normal for them.
I'm spitting nails about it and am minded to cancel the whole bloody thing but I had a death in the family 2 days ago and so accept I might be being somewhat over-emotional about the whole thing.
So, MN jury - utterly rude or acceptable social norm?? And what would you do about it?
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AIBU?
to think this is unspeakably rude?
66 replies
Squitten · 03/10/2011 21:47
OP posts:
cat64 ·
03/10/2011 22:20
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