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AIBU to expect people to understand that because I go to bed at 2am, I am not going to be up at 7am like 'I should be'??

(54 Posts)
notjustme Mon 03-Oct-11 21:11:19

Why is it that people think they have the right to comment on the times I choose to keep like I am some kind of lazy arse who chooses to sleep later than most people? The fact that we are a home based company, and our line of work, means that we are rarely asleep before 2am, any night of the week. And so therefore, we get up later than 'normal' people. In this house it works very well because DD1, DD2 and DD1's BF all hog the bathroom until 8.30am anyway, so we get up after they have all finished.

But why do people who don't even know me, including a courier, think it ok to comment on the fact that I have clearly just got out of bed at 9am? Is it really that awful to want the same amount of sleep as people who go to bed at 11pm?

Quintessentialist Mon 03-Oct-11 21:13:14

No, they should not comment.

But how old are your kids, are they sorting themselves in the morning? Just curious.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Mon 03-Oct-11 21:13:34

YANBU, I'm a self-employed late bird too.

LindyHemming Mon 03-Oct-11 21:13:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy Mon 03-Oct-11 21:14:46

I feel your pain. I am a night owl.. I rarely go to sleep before 2am.. and get up about 9.30.. sometimes later.

I work from home, and there is no need for me to get to bed early.. husband is often up at 4am, so in bed by 9.. we dont see much of each other during the week! grin

LindyHemming Mon 03-Oct-11 21:14:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AKissIsNotAContract Mon 03-Oct-11 21:17:41

A courier definitely shouldn't comment. I opened the door to one in my PJs at 2.30pm. And it was a 12 bottle case of wine! He didn't comment though.

onagar Mon 03-Oct-11 21:18:49


Say "I work the night shift" to make them feel awkward.

'The early bird catches the worm' just shows
that the worm should have stayed in bed.
-- Lazarus Long, Time Enough For Love

toboldlygo Mon 03-Oct-11 21:21:12

Just tell them you work nights - that's what I told the post lady who made a snide remark about always catching me in my dressing gown. She's been very apologetic ever since.

I only actually work until midnight, 1am at the latest, but take at least an hour to wind down after work and get to a state where sleep is a possibility or am so wired that I might as well stay up and get some studying done while I'm alert. I often walk the dogs just before first light and only then go to bed for a normal 8 hours.

notjustme Mon 03-Oct-11 21:27:14

No, DD1 is 22, her BF is 25, and DD2 is 14, and perfectly capable of sorting herself out in the morning - she comes and gets her bus/lunch money from us before she goes so we know she is getting sorted and going on time.

When DD2 was at primary and her first couple of years of secondary I got up with her, got her ready, and then went back to bed for an hour or two once she'd gone, but now it's all make up, hair straighteners, etc which isn't something I can help with anyway and if I tried she would probably look at me like this.... confused with worry of what I might turn her face into.

I couldn't believe it when the courier commented, and part of me thinks - who do you think you are?! I regularly answer the door in Dressing Gown/PJs because they get me out of bed and I don't have time to throw on clothes! So long as I am decently dressed and not flashing the neighbourhood I can't see what the problem is tbh.

timidviper Mon 03-Oct-11 21:32:04

I don't find sleeping easy so if I have had a bad night I will sleep in a bit and am infuriated that people who would be up in arms if they were rung or texted at night think it's ok to ring or text me early. I leave my phone on in case of crisis as DCs are at uni/away from home yet people still do it.

We asked MIL not to ring early on a Sunday as we and DCs (teenagers when it first started) liked a slow start and she still regularly rings at 8.30am despite us reminding her every time and pointing out that she got us up

solidgoldbrass Mon 03-Oct-11 21:32:08

People who comment are just mundanes - in fact it's classic mundane behaviour to expect eveyrone else to be just like you and that if they are not, they are faulty.

gigglepin Mon 03-Oct-11 21:33:19

I used to scowl as i thrust the door open at all hours of the day with hair stood up on end, dressing gown hanging off, after being disturbed by delivery fellas hammering on the door....despite the fecking notice in the front window saying im a night worker......

I frequently had comments.....i told them "im on nights!"
Was completely fucked off when it was a delivery for a neighbour...bastards.

amicissima Mon 03-Oct-11 21:42:43

What's this "should"?

Don't we all run our lives according to what works for us and our families, not some externally-imposed set of rules?

YANBU, although I suppose it's 'normal' to sleep roughly 11pm to 7am, so that's what people will expect if they don't know otherwise. (OTOH, my local council seem to think that 6.10 am is the perfect time to send the Very Noisy Bin Lorry, so perhaps I'm wrong!)

ChippingIn Mon 03-Oct-11 21:43:13

Definitely just tell them you work nights, in a very flat tone <in an I Am Not Amused way>

GrendelsMum Mon 03-Oct-11 21:43:45

I just tell people that DH is working nights, etc. Easiest way to explain to people they have to be quiet in the morning, I find.

nothingoldcanstay Mon 03-Oct-11 21:44:08

It's possible that answering the door in nightwear makes people think you are a lazy cow. If you aren't up properly then don't answer it. I made the mistake last week of being in PJ's at 9am on Sunday when a neighbour rang the bell. He has not stopped apologising for getting me "out of bed" when in fact I had been up watching the rugby (doing a full English for everyone,clearing up and hanging out the washing) since 7am. Never again.

Vagazzled Mon 03-Oct-11 21:46:34

I'm the same as TBG, usually finish work between 12-1am but take an hour or so to wind down, then get comments of "I know you don't get up until late so what time shall we meet tomorrow?"
Ummm yes, but at 1.30am when you'd been in bed for 3 (ish) hours, I'd just got bloody home!!
The courier was being very rude! A "my new boyfriend (even... Well especially if you're married!) kept me up alllllll night wink " should've shut him up grin

Vagazzled Mon 03-Oct-11 21:48:25

And YANBU, sorry blush went off on a tangent!

Faffalina Mon 03-Oct-11 21:48:48

I don't work (well, on mat leave) and regularly wear PJs all day. Don't give a shite what anyone thinks about that.

Odd that a courier should mention it. Maybe you should invest in a night shirt bearing a slogan like "I work nights".

clam Mon 03-Oct-11 21:52:22

My BF lives in the US was phoned up by her MIL at what was 7am for her (5 hours behind us) on a Sunday morning. She commented that she'd been asleep and her MIL said "yes, well I know you like your bed!"

GrownUpNow Mon 03-Oct-11 21:55:31

I can't wait until I can choose which hours I can keep. As it is I am tied to the school run, so have to get up between 6am and 7am for the kids. I'd prefer to go to bed later and get up later for sure, bugger what anyone thinks.

Bohica Mon 03-Oct-11 21:59:39

My postman only did it once. I went to bed at 3am after a night shift, woke at 7am to take DC to school and then jumped back into bed.
10.30am knock knock then louder and then a massive KNOCK KNOCK. I bolted out of bed marge simpson hair and all and yanked the door open and shouted "WHAAATTTT?"

He looked so shocked and stammered "I knew you were in because your car was on the drive" so I gave him a dead pan look and told him I'd worked the night shift.

He puts parcels in the garage now and we always smile and say hello when out and about grin

BobblyGussets Mon 03-Oct-11 22:09:06

I work late evening shifts and also I do like my bed. I don't give two shits. I have been there done that with babies sleeplessness, including one horrific non sleeper who now sleeps well, but the truth is, I function best on 9 hours a night. I have no qualms when I am not working, about going to bed at ten, reading for an hour, sleep at 11 then up at 7.45/8 for sending ds 1 off to school.
I don't put on anybody, I look after my family, am a busy type during the day, work part time, so if I want to sleep for 9 hours I don't explain, apologise or justify to anyone my need to sleep that long. I am evil on too little sleep.

Fuck 'em, the only thing left to come out and say (because if anyone said, "you like your bed", I would cheerfully agree) is that I am lazy, and no motherfucker has ever dared grin.

LikeACandleButNotQuite Mon 03-Oct-11 22:20:18

My DM loves to trill "early to bed, early to rise make a man healthy wealthy and wise"

When infact early to bed makes me restless and fidgetty, early to rise makes me a grumpy cow.

The early worm gets eaten. End of argument.

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