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to make dd remove her ear stud?

(60 Posts)
mosp Mon 03-Oct-11 00:13:06

My 8 yr old dd pierced her own ear (at the top, through the cartilage) this pm. Actually, it looked good, but I made her take it out. What would you have done?

ddubsgirl Mon 03-Oct-11 00:14:12

errmmmm yes,shes 8!

Tyr Mon 03-Oct-11 00:15:28

I'd ensure that the wound was clean and let her keep it on the condition that she didn't do any more DIY piercings. Pretty plucky for an 8 yr old!

sunnydelight Mon 03-Oct-11 00:16:05

For the fact that she did it herself and didn't ask you yes, of course it's reasonable to get her to take it out. Most schools won't allow anything than a "normal" lobe piercing anyway. I'm rather ashamedly impressed at an 8 year old having the guts to inflict such pain on herself though blush

FlamingoBingo Mon 03-Oct-11 00:17:01

What Tyr said.

I would be upset, but I hope I would recognise and acknowledge that that is my problem, not hers. There is no rational reason why an 8 year old shouldn't have a pierced ear, so long as it's safe. It's her body. My only reason for wanting her to take it out is my own prejudices about piercings, and they should have no bearing on her choices. (I also have an 8 year old girl, btw).

ddubsgirl Mon 03-Oct-11 00:18:04

i doubt her school would allow her to keep it in.

LeBOF Mon 03-Oct-11 00:19:26

I'd take it out and give her a bollocking like no other.

mosp Mon 03-Oct-11 00:20:35

I don't think school would allow it anyway. She must be mad to put herself through it! I knew she was doing something in the bathroom, but thought she was playing with makeup. Then she presented herself to me with the new stud shock

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop Mon 03-Oct-11 00:21:15

I disagree. The reason to make her take it out is because she did it without getting permission from you first (which you have to when you are 8!) and making her take it out lets her know she has nothing to gain from piercing herself without permission other than a lot of pain.

mosp Mon 03-Oct-11 00:21:44

A bollocking? LeBOF, are you BOF?

MoreCrackThanHarlem Mon 03-Oct-11 00:22:11

I would take her to the GP's to make sure she hadn't damaged her ear.
And obviously take it out.

How the hell did she manage it? The top of the ear is very tough and gristly, it would have taken a fair amount of strength and considerable pain to pierce it.

In fact, I would worry about the state of mind of an 8yo who did thissad

mosp Mon 03-Oct-11 00:23:48

crack - in what respect would you worry?

LeBOF Mon 03-Oct-11 00:23:55

Yup. How are things?

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop Mon 03-Oct-11 00:25:32

I assume crack is worrying about self harm?
Did she actually put it through the gristle or just the skin?

mosp Mon 03-Oct-11 00:25:59

Much the same, bof. Had a break from mn, and took my mn posse with me to a private group...seeing various psychiatric professionals and still downing diazepam like there's no tomorrow sad

Tyr Mon 03-Oct-11 00:27:10

Aside from the safety/hygiene issue, I wouldn't worry; I'd be impressed although I'd try not to let that show.

FlamingoBingo Mon 03-Oct-11 00:27:28

I don't think a self-harming child would come and present the results to her mother proudly, somehow!

Mosp - whatever anyone on here thinks, the only right way to deal with it is the way that is right for you and your family. You don't need to bollock her if that doesn't feel right, and you don't need to let her leave it in if that doesn't either.

mosp Mon 03-Oct-11 00:27:39

I really think she was just experimenting. It went right through the gristle. She's quite a character. It doesn't surprise me in the least that she did it.

MoreCrackThanHarlem Mon 03-Oct-11 00:28:04

She pierced the very tough cartilage at the top of her ear causing herself considerable pain.
Not normal 8yo behaviour.

How did she do it?

worraliberty Mon 03-Oct-11 00:28:50

It's not impressive at all and of course YANBU to make her take it out

I'd also remove all sharp objects from her reach and have a chat with her about why she felt it was ok to do this.

LeBOF Mon 03-Oct-11 00:29:11

This is true- I'm just giving my view. Flamingo is quite right that you should do what your own instinct tells you.

mosp Mon 03-Oct-11 00:30:22

She says she just pushed an earring through. It took her quite a while. At least 3 games of FreeCell (I was playing in the next room, fully unaware)

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop Mon 03-Oct-11 00:30:42

I didn't say I agreed just that I thought it was what she meant although I may be barking up the complete wrong tree.
My eldest is 4 and terrified of needles and wouldn't get her ears done professionally so I have no experience of what would be normal for plucky 8 yos.
I do think you were right to take it out though. Now she knows what will happen if she does her nose/eyebrow etc and it isn't a cool piercing to show off to her friends.

worraliberty Mon 03-Oct-11 00:32:37

There's no way she 'just pushed and earring through' cartilage.

mosp Mon 03-Oct-11 00:33:50

really? what on earth must she have done then?

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