Title says it really. I would like a life without cancer, without losing the love of my life. Nothing ambitious - just happy, content. A man to love and to love me, good health, kind friends and to be able to look at the world and not wish that I was out of it.
I suppose I am missing my OH....he is living with his mother and there is no chance of reconciliation. I want him here, just to walk through the door and tell me that everything will be OK. He was my strength, my world.
Love to you Andrew....wonderful that you came through. Ironically, after many many treatments - with drug therapy mine is under control and I am getting stronger. It was a strange time to choose for him to leave, really.
So next life. A quiet one, I think. Gentle. Stable.
It's such a wonderful idea, reincarnation. But then of course there is the worry about returning as a worm...
Thank you agent. Yes, I am lost. Things have broken down in terms of contact - I just can't cope with seeing him. I have written him letters but there has been no response. He would not try at Relate to put us back together - he had already decided that it was the end, that he wanted to be alone. His poor mother is awfully distressed. His DD wants nothing to do with him. He has caused a lot of people a lot of pain. There is something wrong in the sense that his heart has hardened.
I will sleep, I think. I usually dream wonderful dreams, of resolution and happy things. Waking up though is always a challenge.
People have worse things happen to them. I am just sad. Wishing everyone on Mumsnet happiness.
I have the crisis number given to me by a counselling service by the bed, agent. I also have my lovely DD - which means that I would never leave her a tragic legacy, no matter how desperate I become. I have to fight this - just find some strength from somewhere.
But thank you. Thank you for your sweetness. I usually enjoy supporting people and helping friends or people who are low. It is odd to be on the other side, to feel so pathetic. It doesn't feel like a good fit.