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To find it hard to support someone i think is lying.

(51 Posts)
bertyb Fri 30-Sep-11 14:50:51

Someone that i am friends with said the HV assessed her and said she had PND, the HV said she shows all the signs and when i asked what they are she stalled abit and then said, she doesnt want to get out of bed sometimes, shes bored, and that her and her partner argue about his hobby.

She went to the doctors who apprantly told her she has severe depression. Now please excuse me if i have this very wrong but this woman is always out and about and shes told me shes an early riser as is her little girl, so the apprant signs she gave me before are a lie..

I asked what anti d's the doctor gave her and she said she doesnt know and i also asked if the doc explained how she was going to feel for the first couple of weeks whilst they get into her system and she said he didnt and told her to look on the box info.

Ive only ever known one person who suffered very badly wiith PND and it was an awful time for her and her family, i know all cases are different though.

This person is the most attention seeking person i have ever met and she lies alot, so AIBU to say that i feel unable to support her and im going to distance myself from her?

EdithWeston Fri 30-Sep-11 14:53:48

She may well have given you an evasive answer because she does not want to discuss her precise medical details with you.

ShirleyKnot Fri 30-Sep-11 14:53:58

what the?

God this is thread is going to end really badly.

YABU. But I think you don't really like this person at all so maybe you'll be doing her a favour by distancing yourself. Be kind though please, and don't call her a liar or say that you "feel unable to support her"


bertyb Fri 30-Sep-11 14:54:09

Im going on the school run but will reply to any replies when i return.

bertyb Fri 30-Sep-11 14:55:21

Oh no she tells me everything she even messaged me to say she had just taken her pill.

Ofcourse i will be kids im not going to tell her to fuck off, I'm not that sort of person.

Shakey1500 Fri 30-Sep-11 14:55:40


gordyslovesheep Fri 30-Sep-11 14:55:57

oh dear lord - I would not have bothered answering your questions - who are you - the Spanish Inquisition?

seriously back the fook off the poor woman

fluffystabby Fri 30-Sep-11 14:58:21

Maybe she doesn't want to answer all of your questions because really it's nothing to do with you?

Oh and just because you get up in the morning and are an early riser doesn't mean you can't be depressed confused

Reality Fri 30-Sep-11 14:58:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bertyb Fri 30-Sep-11 14:59:07

Really?? even when you know they are lying? You would still offer to support them?

fluffystabby Fri 30-Sep-11 14:59:43

How do you know she is lying?

ShirleyKnot Fri 30-Sep-11 15:00:37

And just as a side comment - this sort of attitude is exactly why women are reticent about seeking help and is just the sort of thing that makes me want to rip my hair out with frustration.

I wonder if the friend had been diagnosed with cancer whether there would be any doubt about her illness.

Bangtastic Fri 30-Sep-11 15:00:56

Why are you even friends with her if she is such a dramatic, attention seeking liar? hmm

YANBU for telling her you'll be distancing yourself. You'll be doing her a favour.

GypsyMoth Fri 30-Sep-11 15:01:30

I suspect a friend is lying snout something, but I am going to still support her, you know, JUST IN CASE!!!!

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 30-Sep-11 15:01:59

Unless you're a doctor you can't say whether or not this woman has been correctly diagnosed or misdiagnosed. In fact, you have to assume that medical professionals are not that easily fooled and will be able to spot a malingerer from a genuine case.

OTOH. Even if she is genuine - if you don't like her, don't trust her or don't want to be her source of support you are not obliged to get involved.

ShirleyKnot Fri 30-Sep-11 15:02:30

<quick hijack>

ILT - gotta say your autocorrects make me bellow with laughter at least once a week!

Reality - Hey you! Give us a sniff of that new baby?

controlpantsandgladrags Fri 30-Sep-11 15:04:22

you come accross as really quite nasty, to be honest. How do you know she isn't depressed? Because she gets up early? hmm When DD1 was a baby I was up for the day at 5am every day and out of the house by 9. I also wished I was dead.

fluffystabby Fri 30-Sep-11 15:04:33

Why would you feel you have to say you feel unable to support her?

Why make a whole scene and drama out of a non-situation?

If you think she's lying and attention seeking and from reading what you've said here, you're not much of a friend so just walk away.

No need for any dramatics.

valiumredhead Fri 30-Sep-11 15:05:27

Nice way to talk about your friends!

fluffystabby Fri 30-Sep-11 15:06:09

AND it is none of your damn business what Anti-depressants the doctor gave her and what fucking difference does it make to you what sort she got?

I am not a bit surprised she dodged answering you.



For the record


and this is a very strange thing to chose to post about as a first post

IrmaLittleteapot Fri 30-Sep-11 15:07:55

YABU. And everything that Shirley said before she began hijacking the thread.

spookshowangellovesit Fri 30-Sep-11 15:09:29

bertyb people her are going to jump all over you because you mentioned PND and someone has told you they have it and you think they are lying so that makes you evil.
i had a friend once who told me she had an abortion, she was upset and was worst time in her life i supported her etc even though i thought it odd because she hadnt told me of any one she had had sex with, and she always told me. i mentioned it to her a few years later. she looked at me like i was an alien then looked really mortified then admitted she had made the whole thing up, because she had been upset at the time.
some types of people do make this kind of thing up to garner attention, usually means they have deep insecurity issues, does not make it your problem berty.
or maybe she does have it and doesnt want to tell you about it because you are not overly supportive. seems a bit odd to bring it up though and then go all cagey about it.

CheeseandGherkins Fri 30-Sep-11 15:09:47

You don't know that she's lying, you think she is; big difference.

fluffystabby Fri 30-Sep-11 15:12:26

Someone goes to HV and is assessed as having PND - mentions it to you in passing and you start dissecting their life and questioning them as to the symptoms they have and you're surprised that they're evasive?

What the actual fuck did you expect her to say?

Well, actually, I hate my life, I spend all day crying, I shout at the baby, I'm choosing my bridge...

Proudnscary Fri 30-Sep-11 15:12:33

Why the fuck are you playing detective and giving her the third degree about what ADs she's on?

It's not a case of whether you should bow out of this friendship - more of a case of whether she should.

What an unpleasant OP.

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