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To think Alex James should be drowned in a vat of Spudsworth Melting Cubes?

(242 Posts)
MrsLadywoman Fri 30-Sep-11 12:21:19

Here's Alex James, friend of Cameron and Clarkson and fellow member of the Chipping Norton set, coining it in by flogging cheese to the plebs at Asda.

Surely 'bread-shaped cheese blankets' are just cheese slices. And Spudsworth? Chop up a small quantity of 4 cheeses and put them in a bag. Bingo, a brand new product.

Can we all just stop this collective madness and stop buying any old shit, just because it's sold by a celeb?

Proudnscary Fri 30-Sep-11 12:22:46

He is an extremly irritating, smug, self publicising twat so YANBU.

Proudnscary Fri 30-Sep-11 12:23:06

extremely (sticky keyboard)

nethunsreject Fri 30-Sep-11 12:25:23

Yanbu.

What a load of wank.

IT'S JUST FUCKING CHEESE, ALEX!

WidowWadman Fri 30-Sep-11 12:25:32

Would you be less annoyed if he flogged them at Waitrose?

squeakytoy Fri 30-Sep-11 12:26:30

he does have a face which invites you to slap with some very smelly rancid stilton...

smug, patronising, and irritating..

nethunsreject Fri 30-Sep-11 12:27:25

I'd be just as annoyed if he sold them at Fortnum and Masons, never mind Twatrose.

ViviPru Fri 30-Sep-11 12:27:42

YABU for including the words 'bread-shaped cheese blankets' in your OP only for me to google them to find they are not only bread-shaped but bread-sized too (not, as was in my mental image, blanket-sized)

Bet01 Fri 30-Sep-11 12:27:58

I forgive him a lot because of Blur's awesomeness, but he really has turned into a prize knobber.

Lizzylou Fri 30-Sep-11 12:28:43

I always fancied him when he was in Blur.

The crap tacky cheesey shots have put me off now though.

Callisto Fri 30-Sep-11 12:31:09

Why shouldn't he flog them? If there are arseholes out there that will buy shit like this, why shouldn't he take advantage of it? Your OP sounds vastly chippy tbh.

BupcakesandCunting Fri 30-Sep-11 12:31:09

His idea is shit.

His cheese blankets will only fit certain brands of bread, surely? All bread is shaped/sized differently. confused

ViviPru Fri 30-Sep-11 12:32:23

I'm with callisto. If I was a bored ex-rockstar I'd be all over the cheesemaking. And if I could monetise it, all the better.

ScottOfTheArseAntics Fri 30-Sep-11 12:33:13

Another whore at the capitalist gang bang. Does he not have enough cash already that he has to sell us this mass produced, overly processed sheeeeeee-ite.

Greythorne Fri 30-Sep-11 12:35:07

This. Is. Shocking.

paddypoopants Fri 30-Sep-11 12:36:00

Is he doing his cheese blankets in different sizes or do you have to buy Alex James bread to get an exact fit.
Hasn't he heard of a cheese slice- I have no problem cutting my cheese to fit the bread.

redlac Fri 30-Sep-11 12:37:19

he was a knobber in Blur and a bigger knobber now

PeneloPeePitstop Fri 30-Sep-11 12:40:11

He's got a bit know all in his old age.
I thought the same when he did that homeless project thing for tv.

Fo0ffyShmooffer Fri 30-Sep-11 12:41:57

Are we all 3?
Bread shaped fucking cheese blankets?

" here, have some bread shaped cheese blankets to go with your broccoli mini trees and cauliflower clouds"

In the words of the kid from Meet the Fockers. " Asshooooooole"

ScottOfTheArseAntics Fri 30-Sep-11 12:42:21

I think the comments at the bottom of that article were written by his PR. They are such concise little compositions covering all the key messages. Also what ordinary mortal would write something like 'Thanks for making cheese RELEVANT' again'?? FFS.

MrsLadywoman Fri 30-Sep-11 12:45:18

To be fair, I think the 'blankets' and 'spudsworth' jargon is being used precisely because it is aimed at kids. But that somehow makes it even worse...

Fo0ffyShmooffer Fri 30-Sep-11 12:45:20

See Spudsworth knobbing melting cubes might take over Chocolate dipping sauce and the most patronising fucking marketing ploy on the PLANET.

Fo0ffyShmooffer Fri 30-Sep-11 12:46:21

My 2 year old would be patronised by that.

BupcakesandCunting Fri 30-Sep-11 12:46:24

"I think the comments at the bottom of that article were written by his PR"

EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT!

BupcakesandCunting Fri 30-Sep-11 12:49:13

The more I think about the cheese blankets, the more wound-up I am getting.

How long exactly does it take to slice some cheese and assemble it on some bread? A minute? Thanks for saving us a MINUTE, Alex! It's probably cost us more per gram in money but you saved us a minute! Applaud that man!

They're perilously close to Toastie Pockets territory.

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