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AIBU?

AIBU to say something?

9 replies

gaaagh · 29/09/2011 12:24

I was chatting to a colleague when he got called away for 5 minutes on Monday lunchtime. After a few minutes of going over the notes I'd been making, I needed to use a calculator so loaded it on his computer. As I looked at the screen, I noticed the thing that was loaded was an email in which i'd been referred to, and not nicely. (it wasn't hidden, the PC wasn't locked at all, anyone walking along that row of desks could have seen it - i must have been blind not to see it before, as we were talking.)

essentially, he was explaining to this other colleague that i'd said something that annoyed him (last week, i corrected my supervisor - big cheese dept head - when she said a project was all tied up in June, when in reality a small part of his afternoons are spent tie-ing up paperwork for the next few weeks on it - my supervisor queried this with him - it was an innocent correction which i didn't realise was objectionable for me to make).

anyway i've clearly pissed off this colleague - should i say something, about how i hadn't intentionally set out to cause problems for him taking on a new project, or just leave it?

my gut feeling is to say nothing (mainly due to the fact of how i stumbled across the comment), but i've been upset/annoyed about this interpretation of my actions since MONDAY, and it's Thursday, and I'm sitting here still annoyed 3 days later!

AIBU to say something to the colleague I've (totally unintentionally) annoyed? you know: "Apologies if I've said anything to offend you, as it wasn't a direct intention to get you into hot water with the dept head and the new term's project allocation.."

If you were my colleague, would it piss you off even more (to have your comments read by the same person you're slagging off) and I should keep schtum, or would it clear the air by making clear I hadn't intentionally "dobbed" him in?

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worraliberty · 29/09/2011 12:28

I'd leave it as I'm sure he'd quite rightly say 'just because someone's personal correspondence is there to read', it doesn't give you the right to read it.

In the same way as if a friend of mine left a personal letter open on her table, it doesn't give me the right to nosey through it.

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kelly2000 · 29/09/2011 12:29

hmmm.
I had a situation like this once, (not at work though), when I accidently found a rather horrible email about me. I confronted the person who wrote it, and said quite nicely that any problems they had with me I would prefer it if they said to my face, and not sent unpleasant emails behind my back.

However this is work, and it could make it awkward so have a good think before you do anything. he may just be letting off steam, it depends on what and how he is saying it.

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AKMD · 29/09/2011 12:31

YABU because you shouldn't have used his computer. I would be very Hmm if someone at work decided to use my computer without asking me, whether I had locked it or not.

It doesn't sound like that big a deal really so I would keep quiet about the email. To clear the air, you could say, "Oh, about the meeting the other week, I'm really sorry, I put my foot in it well and truly and I hope you aren't bearing a grudge." Done.

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MangoMonster · 29/09/2011 12:32

I wouldn't mention it, just leave as is. You were being honest with your supervisor, if he's a lazy arse, that's his problem. Ignore it, it's just the way work is sometimes.

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sausagesandmarmelade · 29/09/2011 12:33

I think you should leave it....

The email wasn't meant for your eyes...it was private.

Have you never discussed colleagues/others in email conversations in a less than flattering way? If so, would you be mortified if they had seen the conversations?

Definitely leave it!

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gaaagh · 29/09/2011 14:55

thank you, i have decided to leave it as there is a total agreement i'd probably make things worse/shouldn't have read what i saw on the screen whilst he was away.

thanks.

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pippilongsmurfing · 29/09/2011 14:59

I'd leave it. If he knows you've been reading his private emails I'm sure it would just make the situation worse.

I know if any of my colleagues had gone poking around in my emails when I was away from my desk I would be really annoyed, doesn't matter if the emails are private or not, it's the principle.

I'm sure you wouldn't be happy if you thought he had been reading your emails whilst you'd stepped away from your desk?

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gaaagh · 29/09/2011 15:01

pippilongsmurfing, I didn't poke around the emails - I swear. It was loaded onto the screen, I just hadn't paid any attention to it whilst we were talking. But once he was away I spotted it. I wouldn't dig through anyone's email box at work - I suspect it would be a diciplinary matter, wouldn't it?

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mumsamilitant · 29/09/2011 15:11

Leave it. His ego is probably a bit dented Grin

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