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to think that a SAHM skiving sometimes is ok?

(52 Posts)
Bogeyface Thu 29-Sep-11 00:38:47

I should add that I dont spend all day watching Jeremy Kyle or "lunching". I am talking about when you are not feedng/changing/bathing/playing/reading with the kids/school running/cooking/cleaning/washing....this could go on forever, but you get the idea! There are times during the day when the kids are at school and baby is asleep for an hour and I look at the sheer chaos around me (I have 6 kids at home) and think "Ah fuck it" grab a blanket and a book and chill/nap until the baby wakes up, she is 17 weeks and sleeps through at night btw.

I still do all the work but I tend to put the washing on in the evening as the kids uniforms go in after they are in bed with the babys mountain bits of washing. I do the bottles before bed, have a tidy round etc and fit the cleaning in (har har) as and when. So I am on the go on and off until about 11 most nights, but I am a night owl and function well like that.

By doing this I find that I dont resent H as much as I did when I didnt have the odd skive, for the fact that he gets his lunch breaks and days off when I dont. I dont get stroppy when he wants to spend his day off doing naff all because he spends the day seeing to the baby (he hardly sees her during the working week due to his stupidly stupid hours that his boss insists he works), he does the school runs as he likes doing it when he can and I skive the house work but still do the cooking/washing etc. I figure that the dust will still be there tomorrow!

Please dont turn this into a WOHM v SAHM debate btw! This isnt meant like that at all. I have been both, and I fully appreciate how hard being a F/T WOHM is.

lesley33 Thu 29-Sep-11 00:40:20

Of course YANBU.

poppycat04 Thu 29-Sep-11 00:44:42

YANBU- makes perfect sense. No point being resentful.

squeakytoy Thu 29-Sep-11 00:50:57

If you cant manage to sneak in a few skives, you arent doing it right! grin

I have perfected the art of a 15 minute whizz around the house that successfully has my husband saying " bloody hell, you were busy today" and genuinely mean it... grin

Bogeyface Thu 29-Sep-11 00:54:18

I used to work myself into the ground trying to get everything done and then when I was ill when I was pg I realised that the place looked the same when I hadnt done anything (they can only throw so many toys about!).

It took me 5 kids to work that out, a fact that I am very ashamed of grin

Napdamnyou Thu 29-Sep-11 01:34:26

People do need leisure time to function: that is why workers get breaks. You structure your day so you get breaks too. That is a sensible and reasonable way to behave!

Catslikehats Thu 29-Sep-11 07:34:13

Being a SAHM ought to be mostly one big skive IMO grin

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thu 29-Sep-11 07:38:20

God, of course that's reasonable. When I went back to paid work, I was astounded to be reminded about just how much time gets wasted per day in an average office (I, for example, am on Mumsnet...). My boss can spend half an hour chatting and think nothing of it. Meetings take twice as long as they should. People take long lunches on Fridays, or nip out for a coffee, or spend time showing one another their photos of something or other. Same thing applies to a SAHM.

People are not built to work continuously and without a break for hours and hours on end, they're just not.

NoobyNoob Thu 29-Sep-11 07:39:28

Ofcourse it is! Totally agree with Tortoise.

SheCutOffTheirTails Thu 29-Sep-11 07:39:54


Except that taking some breaks during the day isn't really skiving.

Ilovedaintynuts Thu 29-Sep-11 07:45:27

I agree - in all the jobs i have done there is a huge amount of 'down time'. My sister has a high powered office job but seems to spend her whole day on the internet grin

Being a SAHM is no different! YANBU

ClaudiaSchiffer Thu 29-Sep-11 07:45:42


Also don't think of reading a book as skiving. You are "modelling good reading habits". When I was trainging to be a teacher it was drummed into me that it is ESSENTIAL for children to see thier teachers and parents being good role models and that included getting absorbed in a book.
AND fuck it who cares if you take time for yourself, you work bloody hard, having 6 kids at home sounds horrendous tough. Darling you've earnt 5 mins to put your feet up smile

Ciske Thu 29-Sep-11 07:47:02

Of course. Working people get breaks, annual leave and yes, they skive at work sometimes. SAHM should be allowed to do the same. As long as the essential things get done and no children (or mothers!) walk around naked or unfed, that's fine.

Ciske my 3 year old walks around naked because he keeps taking his clothes off! There are only so many times a day I can re-dress him grin


Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thu 29-Sep-11 07:56:06

Thanks, Ali, I was just thinking the same thing - eek, I have to keep my almost-three-yo dressed now? Bloody hell, there goes any chance of a break.

GrownUpNow Thu 29-Sep-11 07:57:33

Everyone should skive once in a while... I used to do it at work and I do it at home too.

Being relaxed so long as you are keeping it all together and not making anyone else pick up the slack is what life is all about to me. What's life if you don't do some stuff you want to for a while. In fact, I don't even call it skiving, I call it necessary taking it easy time.

I take naps almost every day and don't feel guilty about it, I read, peruse facebook, occasionally watch telly and go visit friends. The way I see it, I have worked hard as a single parent for the past five years and now I get the chance to get some me-time back. Without this attitude, I wouldn't get through the days with my health problems. I know I work hard when I need to, so I am not going to feel guilty about taking it easy too.

NorfolkNChance Thu 29-Sep-11 07:59:30

Down time is essential when at home I find. I long for DD's nap so I can watch my favourite program/read some more of my book/nap etc.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Thu 29-Sep-11 08:01:39

YY to rushing around 15 mins before DH comes back grin I've just started work again and the house is still pretty much the same as when I was on mat leave.

Mothers need a break!

When I was ill, DH had to take care of DD for a whole day shock and couldn't cope! He was glad to get back to work grin

Put your feet up while you can. Much better for your DD to see a happy and relaxed mummy.

Ciske Thu 29-Sep-11 08:26:06

Haha, ok then ladies. As long as there a no naked kids without the official potty training diploma walking around in public places.

Happy skiving! brew

aldiwhore Thu 29-Sep-11 08:30:47

Its not skiving, its having a break... YANBU at all.

I'm skiving all day today. The kids are back at school after 10 days off to go back to the UK for a wedding and then getting home to find the teachers are on strike. Dh is away until tomorrow evening and I'm pretending that there are no piles of clothes/toys/washing/etc to sort out. My butt is placed firmly on the sofa and here it shall stay.

CailinDana Thu 29-Sep-11 08:36:39

Gosh yes, when I worked in an office about 50% of the day was spent doing non-work things like lunch, chatting, pointless meetings, chatting some more, going on the internet, walking from one place to another etc etc etc.  Becoming a teacher was a huge shock to the system - there's no skiving there!  It's work work work from the second the children get in to the time they go home.  I find being a SAHM much easier, and while I'm skiving resting I reassure myself that I'm not actually slacking as I'm still looking after the baby!  

PeggyCarter Thu 29-Sep-11 08:40:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LunaticIsOnTheGrass Thu 29-Sep-11 09:03:11

I'm having a wee skive right now brew grin

Morloth Thu 29-Sep-11 09:11:33

Bloody hell, I only have 2 kids one of whom is usually at school and I skive a hell of a lot more than you do! Call it a lunch break if you like.

DS1 is on school holidays at the moment and we have done fuck all today. I have had a bit of a headache and have used that as an excuse to bludge.

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