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to think that if DD wants a comforter she can have one?

(21 Posts)
PeggyCarter Wed 28-Sep-11 18:29:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TidyDancer Wed 28-Sep-11 18:32:27

I think your DH is being an idiot tbh. In times of change, children want the familiar and often use comforters of some kind.

I also don't think the issue with your Goddaughter is actually a problem at all.

Stand your ground.

Haberdashery Wed 28-Sep-11 18:44:38

I don't actually see why having a comfort blanket until you are seven is an issue either. Seven is still really little! Your DD is getting used to a lot of changes and I think actually it might help you a lot when your next baby arrives if your daughter has an extra source of comfort other than you. A muslin seems like an ideal object, being easily replaceable and washable. My DD still has a huge emotional attachment to a soft toy and she is five. It's fine. She doesn't take it to school or want it when she is there, just likes to have it with her at home and in bed. I don't think it's harming anyone.

lostlady Wed 28-Sep-11 18:49:15

YANBU, I can see nothing wrong with this at all: a bit of reassurance in the big world! Seems perfectly reasonable

PeggyCarter Wed 28-Sep-11 18:50:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Insomnia11 Wed 28-Sep-11 18:51:43

Nothing wrong, DD2 has done similar things, I think they just copy other kids who have muzzies, and if you let her have the muzzy she'll have as likely as not moved on by next week.

Haberdashery Wed 28-Sep-11 18:55:30

I think if your DH wants a child who doesn't push boundaries when they get the chance, he might be better off with a soft toy himself! Pushing boundaries is a function of being a child. It's how they know where the boundaries are.

valiumredhead Wed 28-Sep-11 18:57:43

One of ds 10 mates came for a sleepover the other month, he had his baby blanket that was VERY loved and worn out smile

We all need comforts.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn Wed 28-Sep-11 18:58:02

If your DH wanted something - a drink, a jumper, socks, an extra blanket, less blanket, the window opened or closed or whatever, to make him comfortable, he would get it - why does he think his DD isn't deserving of the same consideration?

IDrinkFromTheirSkulls Wed 28-Sep-11 18:59:20

I think its fine to let her have it, he will grow out of it and I say this as an adult who still has my comfort blanket and it actually stayed folded up under my pillow throughout my teenage years. I stopped needing it before I even started school I just liked having it around, can't really explain why. Although i did take it on the first overnight school trip i went on when i was 10... I just kept it well hidden! I would have been mortified if my friends knew about it!

Now it's in ds's cot and is perfect for if it's too hot for a proper blanket because its so thin now!

PeggyCarter Wed 28-Sep-11 19:01:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits Wed 28-Sep-11 19:12:17

I would just put the muslin where she can get it herself and leave it to her.

MrsBloomingTroll Wed 28-Sep-11 19:13:06

I'd advise you to pick your battles. Your DD is going to push a LOT of boundaries in the months to come, especially with the new baby. You can't fight every one, so choose which ones are important. A muzzy really isn't a big deal, and she will grow out of it.

My DD goes to Pre-School and a few of the kids in her class take toys and comforters in with them in the morning, but the staff help them part with them after breakfast is done. These are 3-4 year olds.

A muzzy is also easier/cheaper to replace than a cuddly toy or other comforter!

BornToFolk Wed 28-Sep-11 19:13:43

I see where your DH is coming from, but if you let her have the muslin whenever she wants it, she's less likely to tantrum for it, IYKWIM. And as others have said, she may well get over this phase. Obviously, if you say no, stick to that but otherwise just give it to her.

DS has a comfort teddy. We have a few boundaries with it, he's generally not allowed to take it out (as we are worried about losing it!) but he is allowed to take it to nursery.

PeggyCarter Wed 28-Sep-11 19:18:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead Wed 28-Sep-11 20:06:04

I would tell her to finish her meal and then she can have her muslin.

Haberdashery Wed 28-Sep-11 20:08:19

Sorry, Puddlejumper. He doesn't sound that bad. I was being a bit flippant.

Personally, I'd give her the muslin before you start eating or have it close at hand. I just don't see why it's a big deal. She will grow out of it. And she's more likely to feel secure if she's having her emotional needs met (even if they seem bonkers to you) than if you're denying her something harmless that makes her feel better, happier or more in control. This is a very small and harmless thing to allow her to feel in control of - obviously not suggesting you give in to every little whim immediately!

Allboxedin Wed 28-Sep-11 20:12:13

I think all children like to have some kind of comforter - I don't see the slightest problem with it. My mum never gave us dummies but I had a rag that I would tickle my nose with...............

blush I am now 31 and still have it ..........maybe thats why your DH doesnt want her to have it ? grin

Allboxedin Wed 28-Sep-11 20:13:43

.....oh and I only have it at night time, DH is quite jealous of it!!

PeggyCarter Wed 28-Sep-11 20:37:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GwendolineMaryLacey Wed 28-Sep-11 20:39:57

I am a great fan of comforters and of letting the child lead the way with them. It's such a harmless thing and provides such comfort for them, I can't see why anyone would deprive a child of one. I get really angry with people trying to remove dummies etc from small children just because some woman in a book somewhere decided that dummies after the age of 17 seconds were harmful.

Let her have it. smile

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