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To think that saying, "At least I married Jewish"

(263 Posts)
WinkyWinkola Wed 28-Sep-11 15:15:46

is as bad as saying "at least I married white" or "black".

MrSpoc Wed 28-Sep-11 15:22:00


pippilongsmurfing Wed 28-Sep-11 15:23:55


Whatmeworry Wed 28-Sep-11 15:25:30

Oy Vey

Oakmaiden Wed 28-Sep-11 15:28:52

Well - yes and no. Because Judaism is a religion, as well as an ethnicity, and I don't think it is wrong for someone of a particular faith to prefer to share their lives with someone of the same faith.

TobyLeWolef Wed 28-Sep-11 15:32:28

I don't even understand the question.

StrandedBear Wed 28-Sep-11 15:33:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LRDTheFeministDragon Wed 28-Sep-11 15:33:59

I think characterising the person you married by their religion/race is pretty distasteful - is that what you're asking?

PsychoThreadKiller Wed 28-Sep-11 15:35:00

Context is everything. Care to elaborate, OP?

AMumInScotland Wed 28-Sep-11 15:40:04

Do people say that? Other than in a self-deprecating humourous way? (eg I've done all kinds of things that made my mum despair of me. But at least I did this one thing right in her eyes)

Mandy2003 Wed 28-Sep-11 16:05:58

OK, let's have a song to go with that sentiment?

limitedperiodonly Wed 28-Sep-11 16:12:52

Yes and no.

While I understand the strong urge to survive and stick two fingers up at the many persecutors who have tried to wipe them off the face of the earth for thousands of years it's also best to keep it quiet from people outside the club.

Jews aren't the only ones though.

Why do you ask, OP?

ToothlesstheDragon Wed 28-Sep-11 16:42:24

mandy - techno mix! dont know what to say

WinkyWinkola Wed 28-Sep-11 16:54:57

Sorry back on now. Dh having dispute about something entirely different with his sister who turned around and said, "At least I married Jewish," and continued to the effect that he couldn't possibly understand the importance of family as a result and that was why he wasn't spending Rosh Hashanah with her and her family 200 miles away.

She has said he is like Hitler before for dating and then marrying a non Jew.

I find this point of view incredible and absolutely rude.

AnnieLobeseder Wed 28-Sep-11 16:58:02

OP I shall give you the benefit of the doubt and allow you to explain yourself before I get all enraged. Elaborate please? And does anyone actually say that?

Mandy - stereotype much hmm

AnnieLobeseder Wed 28-Sep-11 16:59:19

X post. Yes, that was very rude of her, and insulting to you.

Mandy2003 Wed 28-Sep-11 17:00:22

LOL Toothless I was going to post that one! The clip I really wanted was the one of the really strict Hassadic Jews from Stamford Hill dancing at a wedding, but couldn't find that quickly!

Sorry Winky I really don't know what to say as religion is not an issue in my family.

MerryMagdalene Wed 28-Sep-11 17:01:01

In the context she is using it, yes, rude.

The Hitler comment is particularly low. What does your DH think/say?

Mandy2003 Wed 28-Sep-11 17:03:06

Sorry Annie I do not stereotype frequently, if at all - I used to live in Stamford Hill till recently and these guys are still my business associates. I wish I had their faith and commitment, and do know that despite their reputation, the fact that they know how to party does not affect their religious commitment.

AMumInScotland Wed 28-Sep-11 17:03:36

OK - in that context, yes it was extremely rude of her. Though she sounds like she'd be an arsehole whatever her religion, and would have found something else to blame him for if it wasn't that.

Whatmeworry Wed 28-Sep-11 17:05:30

Dh having dispute about something entirely different with his sister who turned around and said, "At least I married Jewish

Ah, THAT. Just tell her its Good to be Goy.

She has said he is like Hitler before for dating and then marrying a non Jew

She is BU - while it is true that Hitler dated a non-Jew, to the best of my knowledge he never married (any)one smile

limitedperiodonly Wed 28-Sep-11 17:10:14

That's awful winky.

Your SIL is the one who doesn't the importance of family or indeed of being a civilised human being.

Proudnscary Wed 28-Sep-11 17:12:29

OP the problem is that non-Jews will probably be bewildered as why you've posted this or why anyone would say it.
I get it because I'm Jewish and Jews are obsessed with marrying in or out!
Yes I think it is really, really offensive - and there are ways of saying things and this way was not acceptable. It was bloody rude and hurtful.

WinkyWinkola Wed 28-Sep-11 17:18:31

Dh now says he couldn't care less if he never sees her again.

Mil is up in arms - even though sil is utterly vile to her - and blaming dh for causing a dispute. He just thinks he's the only one to stand up to his sister.

And if he'd married in, well, none of this would have happened, would it? Well, at least this issue couldn't have been thrown in his face.

NotADudeExactly Wed 28-Sep-11 17:21:33

Definitely very wrong.

Proudnscary how would you say this then? Because while I understand how marrying someone from a similar background avoids certain discussions the context described by OP really makes it sound as though the SIL thinks herself superior on the basis of her (very accidental, of course) ethnicity or religion. I'd be mortally offended if one of DH's brothers came out with anything like it.

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