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Shakey bed, Wanky thread....

(78 Posts)
VelvetSnow Wed 28-Sep-11 11:41:15

blush and shock and grin

Last night I was awoken by some (ahem) movement in bed. I could feel shaking and when I opened my eyes I saw DP sitting on the edge of the bed and he was clearly having a good old shuffle.

Then, once he had finished he got up and went to the bathroom. From what I could see, he'd wanked off onto an item of clothing - possibly a tshirt.

I didn't say anything at the time, why would I?

But this morning, I'm thinking...

Why not just go to the bathroom and sort yourself out, why do it sitting on the edge of the bed and then go to the bathroom?

blush at starting this thread
shock at not just going to the bathroom in the first place, and
grin just for the sake of it

Now I have no objection to masturbation at all I just don't want to be awoken by the vigorous shaking grin of the bed!

AIBU to want DP to use the bathroom instead of sitting on the edge of our bed when he's masturbating during the night?

MrSpoc Wed 28-Sep-11 11:42:39

maybe he was watching you sleep

Dirtydishesmakemesad Wed 28-Sep-11 11:42:58

bathroom is not as comfy!

GypsyMoth Wed 28-Sep-11 11:43:32

Er, I'm speechless!

worraliberty Wed 28-Sep-11 11:44:05

You're lucky you didn't wake up with your eyelids stuck together.....

aldiwhore Wed 28-Sep-11 11:44:41

So funny! Bless him, he thought you were asleep.... nowt to add but HAHAHA!!!

So long as it was HIS t-shirt he wiped his cock on, and not yours, or the curtains, no harm done.

Dillydollydaydream Wed 28-Sep-11 11:44:54

Ooh. Perhaps it was too uncomfy to walk?!

goatshavestrangeeyes Wed 28-Sep-11 11:45:43

This happened to me a few nights ago for the first time. I'm still a bit shock about it but was more pissed off he woke me up ay 5.30am when he could have easily gone in the bathroom and left me asleep!

SharrieTBGinzatome Wed 28-Sep-11 11:46:23

Message withdrawn

booyhoo Wed 28-Sep-11 11:46:24

bathrooms are cold.

booyhoo Wed 28-Sep-11 11:48:02

who wakes up at 5.30am to have a wank? did he set an alarm?

VelvetSnow Wed 28-Sep-11 11:49:17

goats did you say anything to your OH?

DP normally goes to the bathroom, so I'm not sure why this was so different.

He wasn't even facing me, so nothing to do with me btw grin

I haven't yet checked the carpet for drips.....

goatshavestrangeeyes Wed 28-Sep-11 11:54:07

Well a bit tmi here but i woke him up because i was breathing heavily (6 months pregnant and stuffy nose being main pregnancy symptom) which he thought meant i was having a play with myself! He did try and wake me but i wasn't having any of it, it was 5.30am for god sake!

Velvet He got back into bed and i just said oh thanks for that lovely performance, he went on the defensive as i think he was embarassed bless him! His excuse was he couldn't go back to sleep without doing that as he was too turned on? hmm

VelvetSnow Wed 28-Sep-11 11:56:44

grin at "thanks for that lovely performance"

Honeydragon Wed 28-Sep-11 12:05:33

Is there something in the air? I was busy yesterday and dd has a cough and cold so difficult to settle so I ended up doing vegetable cous cous for dinner, with garlic. Previously fed and watered Dh sniffed the garlic and went hmm "'spose I'll make do with a wank tonight" and wondered off.

Say what now?

I shall have garlic more regularly if it frees my evening for mnetting grin wink

mummyandpig Wed 28-Sep-11 13:06:51

Worraliberty grin

Illegitimate Wed 28-Sep-11 13:08:57

You need to make him a wank mitten

Pendeen Wed 28-Sep-11 13:15:40

YANBU at all however could he see much of you?

What I mean is (MrSpoc's point above) was he turned on by looking at your body /boobs / bum etc?

I think some men seem to need to 'look' to 'help' the process.


Nesbo Wed 28-Sep-11 13:22:26

A wank is nature's own Nytol, but it works much better if you stay in a nice warm bed. Etiquette dictates you do it quietly and try not to shake it around too much (the bed that is).

EsmeMrsP Wed 28-Sep-11 13:35:28

Oh man! I think you just have to laugh about these situations. I once caught my man beating one out on the sofa, I had gone to bed and got up to get a glass of water... We just laughed about it, he was pretty embarrassed.

I think you should jokingly say to him 'I don't mind you having a little old spank at the salami, but don't bloody wake me up at 5.30am!'

Whatmeworry Wed 28-Sep-11 13:49:14

You need to make him a wank mitten

Hand knitted, for Christmas, with jolly colours and all grin

OP you may have to up your despunking routine frequency though....

worraliberty Wed 28-Sep-11 13:51:30

A wankerchief grin

minimisschief Wed 28-Sep-11 13:53:21

if he has to wake up at 5:30 to have a fap session maybe you are depriving him in other areas lol

HeadfirstForHocusPocus Wed 28-Sep-11 13:58:44

I love "wankerchief" grin

GreenMonkies Wed 28-Sep-11 14:00:02

Perhaps put a cushion in the bathroom so he can sit in there comfortably then he won't wake you?

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