ok, i will try keep it short and to the point, but not leave anything major out (drip feeding sucks)
so, DB got married a few years ago. his wife is difficult. everything ticked along for a while, and then went epic and huge fall out with DB, his wife and my family (parents, DH etc). it was all very traumatic and awful. so, state of play now is that my parents and DB are talking again, as are DB and I, but his wife is not talking to me at all, and says she hates me. I am actually ambivalent about that, on one hand, its not nice to know that someone feels that way about you, but on the other, i am just relived not to have to deal with her.
cutting to the chase! SILs grandmother has just died and DB sent me a message to say that it would mean alot to him if i would take the oppertunity to write a nice message to SIL about her loss etc etc, as she will probably appreciate it (his words).
so, my first instinct was to say no. on the grounds that i dont actually know the grandmother (or any of SILs family) and that SIL and i dont have the sort of relationship where this would be something we would do (before the fall out nevermind after it). and also because i think this is a manipulative (on his part, i dont think SIL even knows he has messaged me) attempt on his part to get me to communicate with SIL.
my second thought, was ok, if you take all the history out, what would be an appropriate respnse to finding out someone you know has a relative that died and they are upset about it. and i thought, well in those circumstances i would probably buy a card and send that.
but i am feeling really annoyed by the whole thing. which is probaly where i am being unreasonable. i just feel that its not appropriate for DB to tell me what my respnse should be to his news, and then couch it in terms of what would be the decent thing to do.
oh, god. i am being unreasonable arent i?
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AIBU?
AIBU about my brother and SIL?
84 replies
Bottleofmilk · 28/09/2011 10:43
OP posts:
SharrieTBGinzatome ·
28/09/2011 10:56
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