Talk

Advanced search

to wonder when my lovely thoughtful dh was replaced by a cock

(24 Posts)
filibear Tue 27-Sep-11 20:02:33

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Arachnophobic Tue 27-Sep-11 20:11:32

Don't turn her away. Ignore your dick of a husband. If he really has issues with your family coming, which I guess is a rarity, it's him with the problem that needs sorting not you.

YANBU

wildhairrunning Tue 27-Sep-11 20:13:42

Were there other reasons for his outburst? More info please

filibear Tue 27-Sep-11 20:16:13

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

solidgoldbrass Tue 27-Sep-11 20:16:31

Don't turn her away, tell your H that if he doesn't want to see her, he can go out for the day. But why is he not doing his share of domestic work and childcare?

LineRunner Tue 27-Sep-11 20:16:42

He's getting 'fucking pissed off' with what, exactly?

Being married and having a family? We're not all perfect, are we.

I would say be firm with him on this - you have a right to have your own family round to your home - but I see stormy times ahead if he judging rather than solving.

noblegiraffe Tue 27-Sep-11 20:17:11

Pissed off with what?

LineRunner Tue 27-Sep-11 20:18:09

I mean 'we' are not perfect in the sense of those of us with 'interesting' relatives, like you and me!

IreneHeron Tue 27-Sep-11 20:18:27

From what you've said he's being unreasonable. I know how it feels to be far away from family, mine are in the South of England and I now live in Scotland. Similarly we were supposed to visit frequently to stop my homesickness but it hasn't materialised though that's not really DH's fault, just life. Your DH should just suck it up and behave himself around your family. If he wants to be with you they are part and parcel of your life.

I hope you have pointed out that when you agreed to this move in the first place, he said that he " understood I would miss my family (I moved about 140 miles away) and so anytime I want to see them he would take me"

Not really on to get you down there, away from them, and then start changing his tune, is it?

Jamandham Tue 27-Sep-11 20:54:26

Dh is definitely being unreasonable.
'Through the good times and bad' did you not commit this to him.
I'd ignore him and be their for my family.

Whatmeworry Tue 27-Sep-11 20:54:48

More info as to what the "this" in "I'm getting fucking pissed off with this now" is needed I think, there is clearly History here.........

Jamandham Tue 27-Sep-11 20:55:42

Dh is definitely being unreasonable.
'Through the good times and bad' did you not commit this to him.
I'd ignore him and be their for my family.

filibear Wed 28-Sep-11 10:32:02

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

minimisschief Wed 28-Sep-11 11:24:29

it probably has nothing to do with your mil. ask him what the problem is before guessing. maybe he finds the long trip a struggle with kids that do not want to travel so long.

WomansWeekly Wed 28-Sep-11 11:27:36

why did you not engage him in why he felt like that?

why come rushing on here to moan about him. You would be better off trying to get to the bottom of his feelings and seeing if you can both come to a solution.

All you will get on here is Leave The Bastard, which isnt really that helpful or realistic

FabbyChic Wed 28-Sep-11 11:27:40

Tell your mum she is more than welcome to come, tell your DH I use the D losely, that your mum is coming at the weekend, don't fucking ask him if it is okay, tell him they are.

Then if he don't like it he can fuck off out for the day, it is your home as much as it is his.

Asshole.

pippilongsmurfing Wed 28-Sep-11 11:28:44

I know how you feel filibear, I moved over 300 miles away from my mum to live with my DH, and whilst we are happy it is hard knowing she is so far away.

As you say you don't see her oftenI would have her and DN for the day.

Can DH not go ou or something if he doesn't want to be there? It seems a bit mean to say you can't see your mum.

filibear Wed 28-Sep-11 11:55:48

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MoreBeta Wed 28-Sep-11 12:07:39

This sounds a lot like a 'straw that broke the camels back' issue.

In itself your mother visisting is not unreasonable..... BUT.... a new baby, you with PND and your mother suddenly announding she is visiting who he finds overwhelming. Sometimes things are said that should not be.

You need to focus on you and baby and DH and baby and getting into a new routine and tell mother you can't cope with a visit right now.

BelleDameSansMerci Wed 28-Sep-11 12:15:51

Or, he needs to consider pulling his weight and behaving with more consideration perhaps?

startail Wed 28-Sep-11 12:21:31

DH is stressed by baby and you not feeling great. He doesn't want visitors, especially ones bringing their own problems,to cope with as well. Perfectly understandable, if not tactfully put.

If you're struggling and have PND, he really needs to be helping you out with the housework/childcare (unless he works an 80-hour week or something).

Why doesn't he?

That's pretty cock-ish right there....

Whatmeworry Wed 28-Sep-11 12:46:24

Sorry OP, but "lovely,thoughtful DH" 's don't become cocks overnight without reason/provocation. You need to get to the bottom of it. I suspect it is straws and camels backs as others have said. (I'd also bet real money that he believes you are more stressed/upset/etc after being on 'phone with your mum).

If you need your mum up to help you get over your issues, make that clear - but if it makes you feel worse then he probably is NBU.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now