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AIBU?

To go for coffee with ex f*ck buddy

54 replies

apachepony · 27/09/2011 14:38

Or perhaps more ex friends with benefits. Banged into him during work today, he sent text after. Would be good to meet for a chat, were friends (with benefits) for over 5 of my most formative years in my twenties. However last time I met him it turned into the most almighty mess with my now dh screaming abuse at him down the phone. Still, would like to meet for a chat...he's cheeky as ever...Aibu?

OP posts:

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dickiedavisthunderthighs · 27/09/2011 14:41

You know you are.
How would you feel if you had a screaming row with your DH's ex-shag and then you found out that he'd gone and met her behind your back?
Quite.
Grow up.

apachepony · 27/09/2011 14:43

I wouldn't be doing it behind dh's back - I would have to tell him. Is it u to ask and expect a yes?

OP posts:

Wimminsinit · 27/09/2011 14:43

If it caused a big row with your DH last time and the ex-buddy is 'cheeky'...what do you think you should do?

BettyCash · 27/09/2011 14:44

LOL

OracleInaCoracle · 27/09/2011 14:45

what was the row about? it sounds like you are still attracted to him, in which case (despite being a big "exes can be friends" person) it would be a very bad idea.

porcamiseria · 27/09/2011 14:45

you know you are

what a nice wife you are, NOT!!!!!

offonajolly · 27/09/2011 14:45

Seems like a lot of hassle for the sake of sharing a coffee...

You know this will upset your dh and it's not like it is something you need to do so why would you?

TanteRose · 27/09/2011 14:46

YABU

aldiwhore · 27/09/2011 14:47

YABVU.... not because he's an ex fuck buddy, but because your DH has an issue with him. It sounds like he has an issue with him for good reason so I would say you WBVU to meet up.

pyjamasinbananas · 27/09/2011 14:48

I would want to go.
I would also think IAMU.
I would remember who I'm with now and what I would stand to lose
I wouldn't go but would sulk for a while then forget about it

pyjamasinbananas · 27/09/2011 14:48

IABU even not IAMU!!

ViviPru · 27/09/2011 14:48

Shitstorm waiting to happen. Hope you've got your poo-proof tam o'shanter ready.

pearlym · 27/09/2011 14:49

Don't go. Love the way you say you "banged into him" at work, was that a freudian slip!

TheOriginalFAB · 27/09/2011 14:49

Your "he's as cheeky as ever" comment is huge giveaway.

Don't do it.

OracleInaCoracle · 27/09/2011 14:50

theoriginalFAB, yep, yep, yep.

Quintessentialist · 27/09/2011 14:51

But you are not just interested in a coffee with him.

What are you playing at?

(Seeing as you already "banged" into him. Is banging on your mind?)

ShoutyHamster · 27/09/2011 14:52

Hah. You're as cheeky as ever too, it would seem. Yes, suggest it to your DH, why not? I'm sure he'll be delighted.

Tell us, why do you want the drama? Is there a specific reason to do with him, or are you just bored?

apachepony · 27/09/2011 14:53

Sigh. I'm guess I know you're right. Definitely not attracted to him - he a
amuses me and I guess is a link to a part of my life I have no connection with anymore ie a big group of college buddies I don't see any more. Can't really tell u the row it would probably make me seem more U

OP posts:

OracleInaCoracle · 27/09/2011 14:54

you cant ask if you are being unreasonable then only give half the story if the other paints you in a bad light.

TheOriginalFAB · 27/09/2011 14:54

So you know you are unreasonable.

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 27/09/2011 15:08

Of course if you don't fancy him and just want to catch up, you could always take your DH with you? No?

apachepony · 27/09/2011 15:08

Well I wasn't sure if I was as some say you should be able to stay friends with exs! But reaction is clear! Also (certainly in past maybe not now - and I know I will get flamed for this) I came to relationship with dh with no baggage, no ex boyfriend - green - while dh came with child and ex. Back in the day I dealt with constant daily communication as maturely as I could but did find it hard sometimes and felt that I was in a way owed being allowed to be friends with ex fb. Don't feel so much now. Yes and maybe it does reignite thoughts of a frivolous cheeky time when currently weighed down with grown up woes...but hey my dh is the mischievous type too so I shall go home and make cheeky eyes at him and forget our worries

OP posts:

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OracleInaCoracle · 27/09/2011 15:32

of course you should be able to stay friends with exes, its entirely possible. but it is a balancing act, and you should consider your dh's feelings as well as being honest with yourself.

cumbria81 · 27/09/2011 15:37

Your DH is being very unreasonable. What a knob.

nogreythatmatters · 27/09/2011 15:37

Any partner who is jealous of a close friend who pre-dates their relationship is in a relationship which is doomed to failure

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