to feel agrieved

[Angel786]

Because it's mum's bday on sat, thought I would book a nice restaurant and take her and the rest of fam out for lunch. To save her cooking on her bday. Also as she likes dining out and has always been keen to come to London and dine out when my middle sis books stuff for her (on previous bdays) but middle sis is now abroad.

Told lil sis that we would put balloons and banners up at my flat, have a champagne reception and canapes waiting for mum. Then take her out for lunch. Lil sis thought was great idea. I looked into tea at the ritz but far too expensive for five of us (so bought a voucher for two so mum & dad can go to the ritz later in the year).

Last night lil sis phones having spoken to middle sis (who I suspect heard this from mum) saying we should go to mum's house for lunch as it's not fair to make her come to London because it's convenient for us.

It's not bloody convenient! I was trying to do something nice and feel completely unappreciated. I'll bloody go there and cook lunch but reluctantly now.

ps have had a strained relationship with the fam previously so maybe this is why I feel extra annoyed Whenever middle sis gets involved sh*t usually hits the fan.

[LadyThumb]

Yep, sympathies. My middle Sis does this all the time (and with a catsbum mouth at all times). My 90 year old Mum has just moved house and everything we did for Mum was met with disapproval from middle Sis.

[Angel786]

Thanks Lady - I just don't get why when mid sis books lunch out mum gets all excited about dressing up etc and now I've booked it they think it's to suit me apparently mum doesn't want to go!?

I wonder if it's a middle child thing ?

[Angel786]

OMG (sorry for using that) BUT - just saw this middle child and it describes my sis (a journo) to a T! Let me know what you think Lady

[mothmagnet]

I am a middle sis I'm rarely consulted on any family plans and have given up trying to organise anything - not least because my mum always seems a bit dubious about plans I make, but if the others were to organise it then it's great! That's why I have catsbum.

Your plans sounded lovely though, you'd made a real effort to think of something nice. Some people don't like to travel, it's frustrating.

[mothmagnet]

Very good description angel, spooky.

[stealthsquiggle]

Before you fall in with middle sis's plans, I would be inclined to call your mother directly - make sure you give the impression that you are equally happy with either option and see if you can establish what she really wants to do. Chinese whispers are rarely useful in families, IME.

[steamedtreaclesponge]

Have you actually spoken directly to your mum about all this? Seems a bit weird your sister poking her nose in when she's not even in the country.

[Andrewofgg]

Sisters, sisters, never were there such devoted sisters . . . :o

[aldiwhore]

I'm a middle child and its NOT a middle child thing, its an annoying competitive jealous thing!

YANBU

Ask you mum what she'd like to do?? Gang up with your lil sister.

[slavetofilofax]

Why don't you just ask your Mum which she would prefer and then do that?

[DartsRus]

It's Jealousy. your middle sister wants to be the one who takes your mum out and do the exciting things. I would ask your mum what she wants

[confusedpixie]

I'd say she's jealous.

I'm a middle child, it's my little sister who plays the same role as your middle sister in my family!

However that description of a middle child is spot-on with me!

[Angel786]

Thanks all. I may just go and cook etc but then explain while I am there what I had planned initially and just say I thought she would have liked it rather than be home?

I do think it's a good idea to speak to mum directly but Little sister has specifically said not to raise it until after the event so as not to spoil it. As she is generally a laid back kind of girl and doesn't cause any trouble (!) I don't mind holding off.

As the eldest I must say I did agree with some of the descriptions of eldest syndrome keen to please, ambitious, high expectations.... let's just hope I don't get depression in my mid life as described in a few articles lol.