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Am really interested in views...

(104 Posts)
QuietTiger Mon 26-Sep-11 13:52:30

I'm married to a farmer, we raise our own meat (pigs for pork), as well as supplying to the beef industry. We kill our own animals (at a local abatoir) for our consumption. We have (what I consider) very high welfare standards and our animals all have free range (e.g. the pigs we raise live outside in properly constructed pig arcs with a large area to forrage and can exhibit natural behaviours such as wallowing in mud, etc.etc)

I've just been told by an aquaintence, that she can "no longer be my friend" because she doesn't agree with the fact that we raise and kill our own meat and "she knows where my meat comes from" (presumably she means she's seen it running about the field as a live animal). Now I respect the fact that she feels strongly as a vegetarian that eating meat is wrong, in the same way I respect the choices and arguments of vegetarians and vegans. That's fine, and I am actually quite glad she can be honest.

HOWEVER (and this is where the AIBU comes in), as a vegetarian, she is happy to be friends with meat eaters who buy their meat in supermarkets because "that is anonomous meat and she doesn't know where it comes from", so apparently that's OK, because her other (meat eating friends) are not deciding the fate of a particular animal, "it's just meat"... (if you've read this far, thanks, because it's school yard bollocks)

Apparently, the issue that she has with me, is that I can look an animal in the eyes, rear it, let it grow up and then eat and kill it, which makes me a murderer, apparently (That's a whole other issue and debate by the way the veg vs non-veg issues and I don't particularly want that to kick off here).

She does accept that the animals we rear have far better lives than the animals that are specifically reared for the supermarket industry, but she can't accept that we make the decision to play God, as she puts it. She is absolutely adamant that this is the "only reason" we can't be friends...

Now, am I missing something about the double standards here? It's not an issue for me, as I couldn't and don't give a shit about the friendship one way or the other - she is a friend of a friend, and plays no part in my life anyway (apart from occasionally meeting up with mutual friend for coffee), but I am genuinely baffled about the irony of her being friends with other meat eaters - what have I missed?

iMemoo Mon 26-Sep-11 13:54:02

Your friend is a loon.

GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck Mon 26-Sep-11 13:54:47

She's bonkers.

kat2504 Mon 26-Sep-11 13:55:35

Anonymous meat!!!! WT actual F?! She is a loon. She would rather associate with people who eat non-free range mass produced meat than someone who looks after the animals and produces the meat more ethically?
All you have missed is her rather muddled view of ethics relating to meat consumption.

worraliberty Mon 26-Sep-11 13:55:44

I'm baffled?

Have you only just started raising your own meat or have you only just become friends with this woman? confused

Also thanks for the heads up on you raising 'pigs for pork'...I never would have guessed grin

toboldlygo Mon 26-Sep-11 13:56:06

I don't think you've missed anything. She sounds like a loon. Can I be your friend instead? I bet your freezer is chock full grin

Yourefired Mon 26-Sep-11 13:56:36

I, like you, find her reasoning flawed. Have you discussed this directly with her, or have the opinions come through the mutual friend and in someway been misrepresented?

OldLadyKnowsNothing Mon 26-Sep-11 13:56:42

Yup, she's daft. And I'm very jealous of you raising your own meat.

11plus Mon 26-Sep-11 13:56:50

shes being ridiculous, better off without her.

woowoo2 Mon 26-Sep-11 13:56:53

She sounds like an idiot.


HecateGoddessOfTheNight Mon 26-Sep-11 13:57:07

She is stupid.

Better to raise your own. You know it is cared for properly and given a good life. Supermarket meat, especially cheap meat, often comes from animals who had HORRIBLE existences. I buy my meat from local farms as much as possible because I know that the animals were well cared for.

Pissfarterleech Mon 26-Sep-11 13:57:56

Your friend is completely hatstand.

Nikki82 Mon 26-Sep-11 13:58:23

Your 'friend' sounds like a nutcase.. Complete double standards! Nonsense!

ForYourDreamsAreChina Mon 26-Sep-11 13:58:37

Your friend is an eejit and if I were a piggy, I'd prefer to be running round somewhere like you describe rather than in some barn with 5000 other piggies!

LoveBeingAMummyAgain Mon 26-Sep-11 13:58:42

She is bonkers and in fact you can't be her friend due to rubbish arguement give.

sue52 Mon 26-Sep-11 13:58:55

She's stupid, let her go.

LoveBeingAMummyAgain Mon 26-Sep-11 13:59:40

Ps I hope she doesn't grow her own veg wink

Andrewofgg Mon 26-Sep-11 14:00:35

Lord help us. If she had a brain transplant it would reject her.

stoatie Mon 26-Sep-11 14:01:00

She is BU. I am vegetarian but would never defriend someone for this (I haven't brought my children up as vegetarian). Ironically I insist that the meat we purchase is from suppliers that raise the animals ethically - ie no battery hens etc

SummerRain Mon 26-Sep-11 14:01:53

She's a hypocrite and a fool.

You provide a great life for these animals and a humane death.

There's nothing that bugs me more than meat eaters who distance themselves from the reality of where their meat comes from.... and I'm a meat eater. If you choose to eat meat it should be with an awareness of the source of your food and the fact that it was once a live animal.

I have a friend who's veggie as she used to work with animals and can't bring herself to eat them anymore... which I respect. What I respect even more is her insistence that people should eat meat and that hers vegetarianism is a personal choice which she does not feel others should follow, and that she feeds her children meat as she feels strongly that it's healthier and better for them to do so.

mrskbpw Mon 26-Sep-11 14:02:20

I'm vegetarian and I would be friends with you. Your way of rearing meat is far more ethical than mass-produced meat. And loads of people I know and, in fact, my husband eat (good) supermarket meat anyway. If I wasn't friends with him, things would be really tricky.

ChunkyPickle Mon 26-Sep-11 14:03:19

She's being silly.

I think she should have more respect for someone who is prepared to look their meat in the eye than someone who buys it anonymously at the supermarket.

Shakey1500 Mon 26-Sep-11 14:04:09

Your friend is totally unreasonable. I'd be tempted to raise an eyebrow and say a "ooookkaayyyyyyy then...." in a "you are completely bonkers" type of way.

LunaticFringe Mon 26-Sep-11 14:04:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

caramelwaffle Mon 26-Sep-11 14:05:02

She's probably one of these people who would honestly believe milk comes from trees, or similar.
Bonkers (her)

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