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to be completely pissed off with my sister...

(19 Posts)
Alambil Sun 25-Sep-11 20:40:19

My mum is my childcare (her choice before you all yell at me!) and my folks have been on holiday since last Monday...

Mum sorted out that my sister would be (paid) stand-in childcare for me, plus dog sitter for mum whilst she was away.

I take DS to school on a Wednesday as he has to be there early for choir, so my sister has to do it 4 times a week.

I got a text at 4pm on Thursday declaring that she is unable to take DS to school on Friday and have him after school due to "being ill".

She's 24 weeks pregnant, got a bit of heartburn and is using every movement / ache / pain / part of pregnancy to totally over react. She's been at the hospital three times in the last month, over and above her normal appointments due to "drama" with the baby..... nothing is wrong with it, by the way - it's all my sister.

Anyway, I managed to ring my manager at work and sort that I could go in late and take annual leave for the afternoon.

Then, from Thursday to Saturday I hear nothing from my sister - not an apology, nothing... I read on facebook (on Friday) that she is still "in agony" and is going to the hospital again, whereupon they gave her some antacids.

Then, at 11am this morning, I get a text saying she is unable to have DS this week (mum's back on Thursday) as she is still "very ill"... with heartburn, remember...

WTF? Can she not use normal communication?! especially on important issues like this!

I am so pissed off... not that she can't have him, but that she chooses to TEXT me on a Sunday to tell me - not even a phone call! and on a SUNDAY!!!

If she'd told me on Friday, I could have found some emergency childcare in the form of a childminder from school, or sorted something out with my boss, or asked school if he could go in early (I had a post-school collection standby in the form of a friend of my mum's who offered to help).

I am just so pissed off with her about her timing, lack of commitment and chosen communication!

Phew, that feels better.... oh, and I found out she told mum she can't have him because she needs a lie in every morning and can't guarantee that she'll not be in bed at 3pm when he needs collecting...

WIBU to not pay her the £100 I was going to, seeing as she has only actually had him for 3 mornings and four evenings?

Not at all. pro-rata it. Only pay her for the work she actually did.

And I hope you have sorted out something else so you don't need her ever again!

FabbyChic Sun 25-Sep-11 20:43:09

Why would you pay her? That be madness.

pictish Sun 25-Sep-11 20:43:53

What a let down.
Don't pay her for the work she did not do. No way.

Nanny0gg Sun 25-Sep-11 20:44:17

But if you'd phoned her to see if she was better you'd have known that she isn't, iyswim.

Alambil Sun 25-Sep-11 20:44:38

Fabby, because it was the only way she'd agree to it!

troisgarcons Sun 25-Sep-11 20:44:52

First pregnancy? a bir neurotic about it all?

I would have thought you would have had a bit more sympathy, especially as shes overwrought and taking herself off to hospital .....

HOWEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.... she needs to get a grip on reality and her life is about to change and there wont be any time for malingering, self pity and layins very shorrtly.

TBH I wouldnt even mention money unless she does !

SheCutOffTheirTails Sun 25-Sep-11 20:45:10

Pay her for the work she's done, not the rest.

Why didn't you get in touch with her, knowing how unreliable she was?

Really you should have sorted your own childcare for your Mum's holiday.

DuelingFanjo Sun 25-Sep-11 20:45:45

Of course you don't pay her!

Alambil Sun 25-Sep-11 20:46:21

and if i'd have phoned her, I'd have said something i regret after having to find all this out on facebloodybook...

even my mother's friend knew more than me about what was happening with MY son's child care! Surely it's up to the child-carer to communicate issues? (I didn't ring because I knew she was ok - it is only such high drama because it's my sister - she does it with everything... total hypochondriac)

Alambil Sun 25-Sep-11 20:48:05

Shecut, I had a CM in mind and asked mum what dates I needed to ask for - she said she'd sorted it with my sister as she needs the money ... I thought she'd have a bit more backbone and reliability, so left it...

I'll know for next time!

StrandedBear Sun 25-Sep-11 20:51:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NinkyNonker Sun 25-Sep-11 20:51:27

In fairness, if she had have ducked out on the Friday you prob would have seen that as v unreasonable, after all how would she know she was going to feel unwell now?

I'm assuming there are other issues as you sound very impatient with her and obviously haven't called her to see how she is or check arrangements.

Pro rata the payment.

mynewpassion Sun 25-Sep-11 20:54:57

Yes, she should've called but at the end of the day, its your child. You knew that she was "ill." You should've just called over the weekend to see if she could've cared for you child. Never assume on child care.

Could've gone down like this: "I know you weren't feeling well on Friday so I was wondering if you are up to taking care of my son next week because if you aren't I need to make other arrangements." Simple.

fedupofnamechanging Sun 25-Sep-11 21:00:39

I'd be cross too and wouldn't pay her at all - she has really let you down. I think that if you agree to something then you ought to do it, unless you are properly sick. Heartburn is not properly sick.

ballstoit Sun 25-Sep-11 21:01:27

To be honest, if my DSis didnt bother to ring to see how I was after I'd been in hospital, I don't think I'd be hugely inclined to put myself out to care for her child.

But then I wouldnt leave my child with someone that I loathe.

Stick with registered childcare for when your mums away in future.

WhiteTrash Sun 25-Sep-11 21:08:21

What a PITA. All you can do is pay her for what she did do, find other help and never rely on her again.

First pregnancu sure but loads of people have awful pregnancy heartburn its not that much of an issue. Imagine if she had more than one baby? How would she care for the second child what with all thst heart burn?!

I cant abide a wuss. No sympathy for milkers I'm afraid.

ihatecbeebies Sun 25-Sep-11 21:43:23

Does the school have a breakfast club or after school club he could go to until your mum gets back? I agree with other posters on the point of only giving her money for the days she's looked after him.

LadyThumb Sun 25-Sep-11 23:31:39

I hope she's looking after the dog better than she is treating you!!

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