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to tell my friend this is a bad idea?

(50 Posts)
cookielove Sun 25-Sep-11 11:09:45

I have been informed by my friend that she is going to get a puppy (lab), i don't think its a good idea for several reasons;

- she lives with 3 cats which are very shy, but she plans to give this to relatives so they won't get stressed, aside from the fact they will be moving house, to a house with cats already in situ.

-she has a very small house, open plan down stairs, she could in theory baby gate it the stairs, and the kitchen but it would be very awkward to do so, she also a really small garden which is patio'd standing room only really.

-both she and her partner work all day, out early and back late, so the puppy would be alone all day, can you crate a puppy all day? i didn't think you could. She wants to get walkers in and her parent to help during the day, but literally only in to clean up the mess so kind of pop in and out. (poor pup)

-her partner wants one cause he is lonely WTF??

-puppies are expensive, she's looking at labs, labs need loads of attention, chew on everything, need lots of love and attention.

-they go away every other weekend to visit partners family, i assume they would take the puppy with them.

I know i should just leave it, but i really think she needs to realise the reality of what a puppy needs, she usually jumps into things without thinking about it, and then ends up back tracking when it all turns tits up, poor puppy.

So should i say something, and risk a big argument but hey save a puppy from being neglected?

So am aibu to be worried?

TidyDancer Sun 25-Sep-11 11:10:51

I would say something. She clearly has not thought this through.

SarahStratton Sun 25-Sep-11 11:11:25

She is insane and no reputable breeder would sell her one.

slartybartfast Sun 25-Sep-11 11:12:18

yes, i think you should say, you can't have a puppy if you are out at work all day. i dont see how someone would sell her one.
they need company sad

PuppyMonkey Sun 25-Sep-11 11:12:32

Have you got some books and leaflets to show her just what she's letting herself in for?

4boysthatilove Sun 25-Sep-11 11:12:38

As a dog walker, dog behaviouralist (qualified) and owner of labs, your friend is well out of order. I am so cross reading this I can barely type, how stupid and how unfair for the dog.

Definitely say something.

catgirl1976 Sun 25-Sep-11 11:12:41

I would love a dog but would never get oneas I work all day and I just think it is cruel if you have to leave them, especially a puppy so YANBU. Walkers etc is something I suppose but even still.

Also - She is giving away her cats to get this dog? She can't love them much I wonder why she thinks it will be different with a puppy.

And then the small house - a lab is not a small dog so again it doesnt seem sensible

I would say something tbh - she might not listen but it's worth a go.

slartybartfast Sun 25-Sep-11 11:12:54

plenty of people would like a dog, myself included, but it is not fair or feasible when you are out at work all day.

TeddyBare Sun 25-Sep-11 11:13:53

I would try to convince her to get a rescue instead and then let the rescue home tell her how hopelessly stupid her idea is. But that's because I'm too much of a coward to say it myself.

RandomMess Sun 25-Sep-11 11:14:16

Getting a dog is like having a child, they are clearly clueless!

Is there anyone they can dog sit for a month or something. After a couple of weeks of walking a dog twice per day etc I'm sure they'll have had enough.

lettinggo Sun 25-Sep-11 11:14:42

It would be cruel to get a puppy if they're both out at work all day. Young puppies should be left alone for a couple of hours at most. That poor puppy would be very distressed to be alone all day. They're not at the right stage of life to get a puppy.

YANBU. Talk to your friend and talk her out of this nonsense.

SecretNutellaFix Sun 25-Sep-11 11:17:03

The simple fact that they are out at work all day should mean that any semi-responsible breeder will never allow them a puppy!

That is the single most important reason we don't have a dog as much as we dearly want one. Both of us are at work all day and wouldn't have the time to invest in it's training and care.

4boysthatilove Sun 25-Sep-11 11:17:42

You don't have to talk to your friend, just show her this thread!! I have 2 labs in an average sized house and garden. They come to work with me so have an hours exercise every day at least. When pups they were never left longer than a couple of hours, they were crated when I couldn't watch them completely, but taken outside every hour to start with to toilet. They needed company, affection and training, all of which would have been impossible had they been left all day. Sadly some breeders will sell a puppy without checking the background of the owners. Poor dog will end up in a rescue before its 1 if she goes ahead with her plan, its total madness.

cookielove Sun 25-Sep-11 11:19:24

Ok i am def going to talk to her, she probably won't listen and will shove all the evidence of why she thinks it will repeatedly to me angry

She's gone off to look at puppies today, so hopefully the breeder will say no, however its a long way from where she lives and they may lie about their circumstances.

She had spoken about the RSPCA and getting a smaller dog, but i think she figured they wouldn't give her one due to space issues, and working issues, so now they are looking at the puppy angle. Argh she is a twat.

4boysthatilove Sun 25-Sep-11 11:22:52

She is a twat cookie, it doesn't help but I guess you can be ready for with the "I told you so" when it all goes wrong, by which time of course there is a messed up teen lab to be rehomed. Arrrrgggghh this had made me so cross why are people so stupid?

slartybartfast Sun 25-Sep-11 11:26:19

a retired greyhound sounds a better option. even though they are large dogs they jsut want to sleep all day and dont need the space like a puppy does.

cookielove Sun 25-Sep-11 11:27:49

What is so annoying is that all she thinks of is herself, she is so excited about getting a puppy, but she isn't thinking about the puppy at all.

Everlong Sun 25-Sep-11 11:29:39

Talk to her, quick.

I remember a friend of dh's who got a lab puppy whilst he and dw were at work all day. The dog wrecked the kitchen, I mean cupboard doors scratched, chewed, flooring ripped up, chair legs chewed etc the poor dog was so lonely and bored all day. It just wasn't fair on him.

Labs moult like hell too.

catgirl1976 Sun 25-Sep-11 11:30:14

I imagine she was so excited about getting 3 cats at one point - cat who are now being binned in favour of the puppy sad sad all round sad - hope you can make her see sense cookie

4boysthatilove Sun 25-Sep-11 11:30:53

Or the fact that it will only be a cutie puppy for say 6 months and then for the next 10-14 years an big adult dog!!
Slarty is right, retired greyhounds make excellent pets and companions, your friend would still need to get someone in midday to let it out, but of course, its not a cutie cutie andrex puppy is it??!!
I think I would struggle being a friend to someone like her cookie.

4boysthatilove Sun 25-Sep-11 11:32:20

Everlong I have seen lots of cases where dogs have literally destroyed their owners' homes for being left at home alone and suffering with separation anxiety sad

Everlong Sun 25-Sep-11 11:33:41

A retired greyhound isn't the answer either. He would still be left all day whilst they are at work, not fair imo.

cookielove Sun 25-Sep-11 11:33:59

4boysthatilove - sometimes it really is hard work, i can go months without seeing her and not really care < i am a bad friend >

slartybartfast Sun 25-Sep-11 11:34:51

how often are the walkers, if they are walkers, coming in?

people do do this, i know, there is a whole career to be had out of dog walking and sitting.
can she get a dog sitter?

MotherOfHobbit Sun 25-Sep-11 11:36:27

You can't leave a puppy or dog alone all day for that long, it's cruel especially a breed like a lab which is very affectionate and family orientated. I agree with the other posters - you really need to say something.

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