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to be really pissed off with work colleague

(12 Posts)
nina1980 Sun 25-Sep-11 08:28:11

Am leaving my job to start a new one in a couple of weeks. A bloke at work (married) who I have always got on well with found out I was leaving and text me to ask if I wanted to have an affair (not in those words but not far off). I have worked with this guy for over 5 years and I know his wife quite well as I have worked with her b4 and keep in touch (he knows we speak). We have always had a good laugh and banter but as far as I was concerned it was just a laugh. I told him straight I don't go near married men (I'm single at the mo). AIBU in feeling quite insulted that he fancies a shag and then not have to see me every day in work cos I will have left and that he thinks I could actually do this AND STILL be friends with his wife! He text me b4 to ask if I was OK and that 'we're both adults and he hopes we can be mates'. Am I supposed to be really blase about this or am I right to feel he is an epic twat who thinks I'm a slapper.

StealthPolarBear Sun 25-Sep-11 08:32:23

He is an epic twat. I guess his thinking was "if she turns me down I don';t have to be faced with my rejection every day".

Shakirasma Sun 25-Sep-11 08:32:29

YANBU what a slimy twat!

mymummyisasquarehead Sun 25-Sep-11 08:36:25


squeakytoy Sun 25-Sep-11 08:39:08

text me to ask if I wanted to have an affair (not in those words but not far off)

We have always had a good laugh and banter but as far as I was concerned it was just a laugh.

Are you sure that this wasnt also banter, and has been misconstrued? What did he actually say?

HeIsSpartacus Sun 25-Sep-11 08:43:53

He is an epic twat. YANBU.

What did he text exactly? I feel like what he texted has some bearing on how pissed off you are.

My friend gets this a lot at her work, married men making passes at her and telling her they don't know why she's single blah blah blah and then offering her the chance to be their bit on the side/seedy one night stand. They get very offended when she tells them she has no wish to be either their second or first choice and they should be thinking about their wives and children if they find it so difficult to keep their trousers up. They seem to think she should take it as a 'compliment'.

nina1980 Sun 25-Sep-11 08:46:40

Nah, he is always very jokey and messes about usually. If I ask for help with something he'll come back with 'What's in it for me-wink wink-ha ha ha'. He does this openly in the office in front of people and everyone understands it's a laugh. He's only asked for my number since he found out I was leaving (he asked another workmate for it cos it was something to do with work). After 5 years of never having to call me b4? He's been sheepish in work as well which is not like him as he is the life and soul usually.......

nina1980 Sun 25-Sep-11 08:51:47

As for what he text he just said he was going to miss me and then started talking about us having chemistry together and maybe we should see where that could take us. Twat.
I think I feel disappointed in the bloke more than anything-I had him down as a nice bloke who is a bit of a gobshite but takes good care of his wife and kids. And I feel like I'm being really naive when I say I feel dissappointed in him...

Tee2072 Sun 25-Sep-11 08:55:38

He's not only a twat but incredibly naive to think it won't get back to his wife. Because if I was you? I'd tell her. Who knows who else he's shagging or trying to shag!

nina1980 Sun 25-Sep-11 08:57:29

I'm not telling her. I know it's chicken but I can't.

HairyGrotter Sun 25-Sep-11 08:58:31

What a toad, YANBU...urgh makes my skin crawl.

I'd not contact him again or reciprocate any contact from him, what a bellend

StrandedBear Sun 25-Sep-11 11:48:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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