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AIBU to cry for three hours?

(153 Posts)
FabbyChic Sat 24-Sep-11 22:14:16

Am I?

My son has gone.

He usually sits on the other sofa with a Skype headset on, always there never moved for two years, now he has gone and I miss him so much.

I worry that he is sitting in his Uni room all alone without his laptop cos he left the charger here. Has he even eaten? What if he doesn't make friends, what if he is lonely.

I've no one in RL to talk to, I've no family.

Is my son going to be okay? Will I myself survive this cos it really hurts. It's just me and the dog, I'm even worried I'm neglecting the dog.

AgentZigzag Sat 24-Sep-11 22:16:42

Awww, of course he'll be OK smile

Are you able to send him a text and put your mind at rest?

NormanTheForeman Sat 24-Sep-11 22:17:35

He will be fine. It's you who will suffer.....

I feel like this already when ds is just away for the weekend at cub camp! He has a great time with his mates, while I miss him like mad! blush

Maybe you need to get busier yourself, get out more, then you will stop worrying about him. Easier said than done I know, but can be doable........

Almostfifty Sat 24-Sep-11 22:17:44

He'll be out enjoying himself.

Honestly, he will.

FabbyChic Sat 24-Sep-11 22:17:48

I've sent him loads, and even rang him goes to voicemail. Thats a good thing though isn't it? Means he is busy and not on his own?

FabbyChic Sat 24-Sep-11 22:18:29

I've no friends, I've been sick all the time I have lived here. Seven years.

Signet2012 Sat 24-Sep-11 22:19:12

He will be fine.

He may be a bit shy, a bit lonely and is probably missing you too or he will be in a pub somewhere getting know his flat mates/ local ladies with a pint in one hand and pizza in the other.

Its amazing how much men will do for themselves once mummy isnt running round after them smile

Hope you feel happier soon, maybe send him a text? Would that settle your mind?

HeIsSpartacus Sat 24-Sep-11 22:19:26

Get a grip. He's an adult FFS. Doesn't sound like he ever communicated much with you with a skype headset on anyway so what's to miss?

<That was my FabbyChic style response>

My response:
He will be in the student union bar, drinking and chatting away, nervous but interested and thinking this is what it's like? You will unfortunately not be featuring in his thoughts at all. Can you pop the charger in the post to him? Text him to tell him you're sending it? You will survive but you're going to have to think of ways of getting busy (MN is obviously a good start but things that take the other sofa out of your line of sight will be good too). Give the dog a cuddle - you'll both be missing him I'd imagine.

AtYourCervix Sat 24-Sep-11 22:19:42


and what do you mean 'no friends' what are we? figments of your computer's imagination?

Sidge Sat 24-Sep-11 22:20:26

My first night at uni I unpacked, headed for the student bar with some girls from my corridor in Halls and vaguely remember getting back to my room at some point in the wee hours! grin

He'll be having a ball, it will be far harder for you than him.

highriggs Sat 24-Sep-11 22:20:31

He's busy , don't worry to much fabby . I am same as youh single parent of 3 last who hasx gone, trust me it gets better .

scottishmummy Sat 24-Sep-11 22:20:49

your son is amongst freshers who will be funny,lively and as bitty scared as he is.undoubtedly one of them will have a blackberry charger he can use.why dont you to phone banking put some money in his account for a charger he can buy asap.

and yes it is significant for you,someone you loved is doing a big scary and smashing thing

ok have a wee sob tonight only,but the get it together and dont be overly maudlin.
join a book group library or online
nice long stroll with dog
free make over at one of the counters
some telly and fave food

son will be fine dont fill time thinking what ifs
ddi you go uni,how did you find it

nickschick Sat 24-Sep-11 22:21:03

You will survive course you will.
He will eat - he is teenager and they are ruled by their belly.
There will be someone else with a laptop charger the same as the one he has left behind he will borrow one.
He will make friends - who do you think he talks to on skype?

Your not neglecting the dog -you cant neglect him - you 2 have to stick together.

It hurts today and it will hurt tomorrow too ......and just as you get used to it Christmas will be here and he will be home .........its a parents job this pain and worry ......why do we do this to ourselves?

For a few weeks at least you can eat wat you like - the house will stay tidy- you can watch all the tv you like and you can live your life for you.....but only term time smile.

stinkyfluffycat Sat 24-Sep-11 22:21:12

I would think no news is definitely good news - prob means he is down the pub with new friends and is too busy having fun to think about boring old mum wink

IWantWine Sat 24-Sep-11 22:21:16

ahhhhhhh hey

I have not been there... my two are still at home but I just want to say, you must remember how proud of him you are! You have done such a great job. See how well he is doing? You know he is probably having a really great time.

And I know it wont seem like it but time flies and he will be back soon enough.

Now you should do something for yourself, something nice, a treat, even if just a long soak in the bath with some candles. Take care of you.

And if he has not got his charger, can you post it to him? Then if you have not already done so, get yourselves on Skype so you can keep in touch with him that way smile

Naoko Sat 24-Sep-11 22:21:17

He'll be fine. He'll be out meeting his flatmates, getting to know his new town, and almost certainly having a great time. You'll be ok too - I know my mum cried when I went to uni (in the car, once I couldn't see her...she told me much later) and I was scared, but it was great.

And I doubt you're neglecting the dog grin but as long as he's got food and water I'm sure he'll cope with a bit less attention for a few days. In fact, if you're upset and don't have anyone to talk to, I'd suggest playing with the dog more, you'll be distracted and have company of a sort, even if it's not quite the same as a human.

griphook Sat 24-Sep-11 22:21:24

I'm feel really sorry for you, my little ds is only 18 months and already i'm dreading that day when he leave home.

yanbu to have cried for 3 hours, maybe wallow tonight, eat ice cream and watch beaches or something sad, and tomorrow please look at some groups you can join to get out there.

LoveBeingAMummyAgain Sat 24-Sep-11 22:21:53

Fabby is human shocker [shocker]

Only joking. Well you need to do something about not having anyone except the dog don't you. You can't live for the uni hols when he cones home.

FabbyChic Sat 24-Sep-11 22:22:21

I unpacked for him before I left. When I spoke to him earlier he had said his phone was on silent and he had been talking to the other students.

I guess Im really feeling sorry for myself.

I've been a mum for 23 years, now Im not needed to cook/wash/iron anymore.

I guess really I should be getting a life of my own.

You all been really sweet. Thank you

nickschick Sat 24-Sep-11 22:22:28

Fabby why are you sick??? i didnt know you was poorly sad.

timidviper Sat 24-Sep-11 22:23:00

Don't cry Fabby. It is hard to let our children go but it's better that they spread their wings and the fact that he's ready to try is a sign you've done a good job of being a mum. (I'm about 2 yrs ahead of you, oldest is now working, youngest at uni)

We all feel lonely at times but at least we can all chat on Mumsnet.

IWantWine Sat 24-Sep-11 22:23:13

[blush} sorry... I see he is on Skype... so there! You had better be too!

ReindeerBollocks Sat 24-Sep-11 22:23:19

He will be having an absolute blast, probably out at a student bar making a whole host of new friends. Doesn't mean you won't miss him terribly.

Can you find any local clubs/make contact with old friends? You have MN, and I am sure your son will contact you tomorrow with a hangover wink

FabbyChic Sat 24-Sep-11 22:24:15

Son has more money than me he is a saver. Its his laptop charger, he forgot it!

Said he wait for it. I told him to go to the Library and use their computers. He can use FB on his phone but not skype I think.

AgentZigzag Sat 24-Sep-11 22:25:55

Don't think you'll get away with it that easily fabby, be assured he'll still need his mum grin

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