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Immature mother!!!

(7 Posts)
CurlySoo31 Sat 24-Sep-11 20:35:55

Today my mother called me up after I had finished work and asked me to give her a lift somewhere. I said I would not be able to because I had made plans to visit my friend who had just had a baby. She shouted BYE and slammed the phone down on me! Is it just me or is this behaviour unacceptable. My mother acts like a spoilt brat sometimes and I find it difficult to stand up to her because she always refers back to how hard her life is (she is a very negative person) and tries to make me feel guilty. What do other people think? I am envious of people who are best friends with their mothers when my own resents me and does not accept me for the autonomous adult that I am. Has anyone else got a mother who does not treat them very well?

AgentZigzag Sat 24-Sep-11 20:48:45

I would just shrug if someone did that to me on the phone, it does sound very bratty.

What is it that makes you feel unable to confront her about acting like a 5 YO?

In what way does she resent you?

ReindeerBollocks Sat 24-Sep-11 20:52:28

Try relationships - not because I care whether this is an AIBU thread, but because a lot of people there have experienced similar and ongoing issues with their parents and will be able to provide you with the relevant advice and support that you might find useful.

YANBU by the way, I would not expect my mum to react in such a way just because I couldn't give her a lift.

AgentZigzag Sat 24-Sep-11 20:58:45

I would second ReindeerBollocks (hehe), there are a lot of people who have similar relationships with their parents.

The Statley Homes thread is really helpful.

CurlySoo31 Sat 24-Sep-11 21:03:01

I have heard all my life about what a hard life she has so I suppose I tread on egg shells around her like everyone else she knows so as not to upset her even more. I am unable to confront her because I know from past 'discussions' that she will never admit that she is wrong/ shout for no reason/ swear for no reason/ bring up ridiculous things e.g. how I behaved when I was a teenager (I am 31 years old). I feel she resents me because I am an independent woman who does not need her. I have a supportive partner, 2 great kids and have just graduated from university. My drug addict sister who abandoned her own daughter is treated with more respect because she needs more help. My mother constantly says mean things about my partner because he does not earn a lot of money (although he is a wonderful partner and I think she is secretly jealous because my abusive violent father left her and was not as supportive).

ReindeerBollocks Sat 24-Sep-11 21:14:17

Curly. I'll be honest with you, fro. What you have described, it's not a normal mother/daughter relationship, and it sounds like you are really affected by her behaviour towards you. You don't deserve to be treated in such a vile manner especially by your mum. Follow the link on Agent's post, as people on that thread have experienced the same as yourself and can help you change your outlook and hopefully improve the relationship with your mum (or give you coping strategies to deal with her).

You sound like your immediate family (DP/DC) is a lovely functioning unit, and in hope you gain strength from that x

ReindeerBollocks Sat 24-Sep-11 21:15:16

And I

From what

Bloody useless at typing I am.

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