AIBU to ask the boys who are playing football outside my house to go play somewhere else?(15 Posts)
My house is an end terrace, and at the side of the house is a car park. That's where I park my car.
Last night DP & I heard an almighty thud - it was really loud as DP got a fright
big softie that he is so I looked out the window and saw 4 boys playing football next to my car.
I couldn't say for sure that the thud was a ball hitting my car so I watched for a few minutes and in that time the ball hit my car.
Now this part IWBU but I knocked on the window really loudly and shouted to the boys to "Move Away From The Cars" Again, DP got a fright (he was trying to relax in the bath btw) so I did shout loudly.
I immediately went downstairs and outside and apologised to the boys but told them calmly that this was not an appropriate place to play football - I'd say the boys were approx 9-11 yrs - I then asked them to go play somewhere else. The did and all was fine.
So, this morning, another almighty thud so again, went to the window saw them playing football (same boys) it hit my car again and I went outside to them and said "Boys, I told you yesterday, you can't play here if you're going to continue to hit the cars, can you please go and play on the field" The field is literally 100 yards from where they were playing. Anyway, they've moved but I know they'll be back.
AIBU to move them on? Should I move my car? I hated it when we were moved on as youngsters and disliked the "old fuddy duddys" who moved us!
Am I a fuddy duddy?
As long as I'm polite I think I'm being ok. AIBU?
FWIW There are only 2 cars that ever park in that area, and there is space for approx 10 cars. There is car parking at the front of my house but everyday the spaces are taken.
YANBU. Footballs, windows and cars don't mix. Keep moving them on.
No of course you are not being unreasonable. If you wanted to be seriously kind you could buy a sponge football and tell them it's ok to play with that in that area as it won't damage the car but that is going over and above what any one would expect you to do.
Your DP sounds very nervous, jumping all the time. Is he OK?
he was in the bath trying to relax.
He is a kind, soft centered man
most of the time
and I was just trying to convey how loud the thud was - perhaps I should give up my dream of being a bestselling author
I ask kids to move on all the time. We were stupid enough to buy a house at a park entrance! Anyhow they have a massive park with goalposts 50 yards away so they can jog on. We don't have a car but we do have big bay windows that are near enough to whack. The local kids also love to smash footballs against the iron gate which makes an almighty crash & has woken DD. (They also love to repeatedly smash the gates open & closed, horrible noise... why??)
IME you will have to ask them nicely for a while before they get bored & pick a new favourite spot. It's hard, but continually asking nicely works way better than getting cross, even if you feel annoyed at having to ask yet again. I'd hope they are nice kids but unfortunately I have known people to get bricks through windows in retaliation when it got argumentative.
its a car park, not a football pitch, but it will be a long running battle that you face..
I dont think you are being at all unreasonable, but 10 year olds will see it different... and at that age, part of the joys of life are pissing the hell out of grown ups..
Judging by AIBU there are many of us for whom pissing the hell out of people remains a favourite hobby well into adult life!
I think children often get a raw deal on some of these threads. Many children will be happy to move if asked to. Its about speaking to them in a pleasant manner. My 8 year old dd and her best friend were on roller blades the other day and a middle aged women came out and told them to "fuck off, your laughing is really getting on my nerves". I was disgusted that an adult would speak to two little girls in that manner and that their laughter was so offensive to her.
We have alot of children on our street who play out and they do their best not to annoy anyone.
Andrew, I'm sorry I don't know what you mean?
slippers - I believe that to get results you need to go about it the right way, children are not to be bossed around - I have found that when I spoke to the boys calmly they quite happily moved on. So will continue to do so.
The AIBU part was because I felt slightly guilty tbh, not because I thought they were within their rights to kick balls off my car
No YANBU to politely ask them to take it away from the parked cars and on to the field. You would also not be U to be a little more stern if the same kids keep ignoring you.
I have a 9 year old ds who knows full well not to kick his football along the ginnel behind our house where some neighbours park their cars. Yet, every now and then he and his pals will forget the rule and get the odd rollicking from a neighbour. I don't have a problem with that, it takes a village to raise a child.
There were a few 6 year olds (inc my own) playuing out side my house the other day with a football
my 6 year old came in and said my next door neighbour had asked them to keep the ball away from her windows.. he was really uspet.. not because he had been told off but because he had upset our neighbour
I spoke to her the other day and apologised .. her response .. what lovely kids they dont normallly bother me .. they were just a bit boisterous and the ball had hit my windows twice ..and tney apologised at once
so give and take on both sides... and its nice the neigbours feel they can say dont do that.. saves them having to tell me and i have to tell the kids
YANBU I would go out and move them if they were hitting my car
I had something similar happen last summer except they were 15-19 year olds and swearing. They hit the car and when the ball came over my hedge the CLIMBED on the hedge (it's privet and bloody old and hard to keep looking good but i'm very fond of it). Each time I went out and told them until one time I was sat out with my then 1 year old on my knee and their ball damn near hit us at some force! I never shout but good lord there was no holding me back. I had been very politely telling them not to do it each time up until then then getting ignored. They'd get lectured about privet trees, promise to not do it again then a few days later...THUD...out I go again. That is until that day when I was out with my DS and then uncharacteristically I saw red. I shouted at them with my son on my hip "How dare you come here, we've spoken about this and I had your word....etc" (Oh God what a sight that must have been!) and I was lucky because they didn't come back. In fact I've never seen them again, this summer being bliss. The old lady who lives across the road (a stranger) made a special effort to thank me as apparently she's been intimidated by them for a few years and no one had the guts to speak to them. I've only been here a couple of years. I must admit I'm glad I saw red but I'm also aware that in some areas that would have back-fired and I might have ended up with a very serious incident on my hands. I think you were entirely being reasonable. The Chinese thank their community once their children reach adulthood as they recognise that it takes a community to help the parents raise a child. I quite like this idea of helping children grow up to be responsible and courtious adults. I obviously don't agree with those "adults" that swear at children and provide a very bad example.
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