To think DS is being a little TOO stubborn?

[MuthaInsuperior]

I'm stubborn by nature but I think DS is going too far on this. Basically he's very much into his performing arts and has always taken part in performances at school, often getting the main part. He played the part of Joseph in the year1 primary nativity play, Joseph again in year 3, The main part in a smaller play in year 4, Joseph in a citywide nativity at the city hall when he was in year 5 and he played the main part in the year 6 leavers play.

When he started secondary school he joined the drama club and was disappointed to get a 'moderate' part in the summer performance. This Christmas the club are performing Scrooge and he went for auditions last week and today found out he'd got a small part with 2 lines to say. He was expecting to get the part of Scrooge. Because of this he's now refusing to have anything to do with the christmas performance or the drama club in general until next year.

I think this is a bit bratty! ok so he's almost 13 and can make his own choices in these things but AIBU to tell him he shouldn't be so stubborn and do the performance anyway? I mean, we don't always get what we want in life but we still have to take part!?

[Springyknickersohnovicars]

Jeez!!! His attitude might have lost him the part rather than his lack of talent.

Sorry Mutha I think he's being bratty too. Sorry!

[MuthaInsuperior]

I agree with you Springy! The thing is his attitude right now is hardly going to do him any favours when they come to choosing parts for the summer performance!

[CeliaFate]

Completely bratty I'm afraid! He needs to learn to pay his dues and do the parts he's offered. If I was his teacher, I wouldn't offer him the leading role until I knew he could handle it and that he showed the proper attitude - it's not a one man show, there'll be plenty of other kids who may even be better than him!

[fluffles]

he'll never get a bigger role if he walks out when offered smaller ones. so if i were you i'd advise him that not accepting this role is basically giving up on drama at school. still his choice whether to do that or not, but that's the reality.

[Springyknickersohnovicars]

Sorry mutha, he is full or raging hormones no doubt, a little headstrong and almost too used to being successful. It's almost as if a teacher would have been doing him a favour to give him a part of the donkey's backside as an eight year old say.

But still he's very young and if he learns now that teddys being thrown out of prams in a fit of artistic pique won't get him anywhere during a school play then there is no real harm done.

You know what he might benefit from auditioning for a local amdram for various parts to get a lot of feedback critical and praiseworthy plus he wont get every part.

I don't know what else to suggest to him to be honest.

[TotemPole]

He is being a drama queen. You need to talk to him about not getting a main part each time.

Is his 'thing' acting? Is that what he wants to do when he's older?

[DoubleDegreeStudent]

He is being stubborn, but I'm not really sure how you could make him change his mind! I'd probably just so "ok, fine" and never mention it again, ever.

If he likes performing arts then surely he will start to miss them before next year and will then regret his choice?

I suppose you could force him into it, but I have a feeling this might be one of those "let them make their own mistakes" times...

[thisisyesterday]

i would point out to him how the other people in the drama clu will perceive this.

does he feel he is better than anyone else in the club? if not then why should they not get a chance to have the big roles?

ultimately though i would leave it up to him and let the people who run the club deal with his attitude. if that means he doesn't get offered a part at all then that's a lesson learned for him

[pictish]

Ooooh what a DIVA!

[MuthaInsuperior]

He was convinced he would get the main part (and I suspect had told everyone he would be playing Scrooge) and he does believe he is better than everyone else. He always has had a bit of a superiority complex (I questioned aspergers at one point it was that extreme!) but since starting secondary I think the reality of the big wide world is starting to dawn. It's easy to be the centre of attention at a little primary school - huge inner city 1500 pupil secondary school not so much!

[Springyknickersohnovicars]

Children with Aspergers don't generally feel superior (all different) often they struggle with the world around them and don't fit in making life a struggle for them. (not always no one can generalise) but for me he is not ticking any of the Aspergers boxes from what you have said.

[MuthaInsuperior]

No Springy it was more when he was younger that I thought it could be aspergers (inappropriate comments, inability to understand why anyone else could be upset, couldn't make friends etc)

[Springyknickersohnovicars]

That makes sense Mutha, thanks for explaining.

[TheProvincialLady]

Ask him how he thinks professional actors become successful. Is it by learning their trade, watching others and being prepared to put in 100% even for lowly roles - or is it by turning up at Hollywood/the West End and saying look here I am, ready for that starring role?

[diddl]

Why was he so convinced?

Didn´t he see anyone else audition?

Also, if he flounces now, is he sure that they would want him back in?

He´s got plenty of years to improve his attitude & chances of a bigger part if he stays.