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to be so angry I may spontaneously combust?

(46 Posts)
AtYourCervix Fri 23-Sep-11 16:26:11

Fuckingshithead monkey taxbods, payrol and HR angry

Why? why do NONE of them have the right details?

Why do NONE of their dates match?

Are they not employed and paid to deal with all this shite?

I have spent over an hour going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back again and got NOWHERE.


And I have just written out a good long offensive AIBU swearing at these monkeys who run these large organisations and the fucking laptop battery went fut.

I can actually feel myself smouldering inside.


purpleturtletoise Fri 23-Sep-11 16:27:00

<backs away, a bit scared>

AtYourCervix Fri 23-Sep-11 16:28:08

do you work for one of the above organisations? if so then you should be! I am :: this close to exploding.

StrandedBear Fri 23-Sep-11 16:28:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nenevomito Fri 23-Sep-11 16:29:02

I feel your pain. I have had a whole day of dealing with jobsworth twats.

<gets punch bag out>

Do you want to go first?

startail Fri 23-Sep-11 16:33:45

And I shall yet again have to hike up the road because the tax office can't get my neighbours address right and the post person can't engage brain and redirect it to the correct house.
Never mind at least my neighbours lovely and I might get a cup of tea.

AtYourCervix Fri 23-Sep-11 16:37:02

the details while I smoulder and spark.

1. Taxbods want P60 from 400 years ag.

2. Payrol claim I left employemnt befor april that year. I didn't. I just changed contract.

3. Payrol gave me a P45 not a P60 for that year.

4. Not being a fully qualified paid member of the Taxbods I have never understood or noticed.

5. HR think something completely different despite having the same computer system and details as payrol.

6. Taxbods want me to get details from payrol.

7. Payrol won't give them to me and want Taxbods to write to them officially.

8. But there's no point as payrol have different dates to Taxbods and HR.

9. And each time I ring anyone I have to talk to 17 computers before being put on hold with crap jaz for 15 minutes a time before I get through to a human who is a different human to before so I have to relate the entire saga over and over and over and over again.

10. angry

lashingsofbingeinghere Fri 23-Sep-11 16:42:44

Talk to your local tax office? They can be surprisingly helpful. Hire an accountant?

purpleturtletoise Fri 23-Sep-11 16:45:42

<Even more scared, now!>

No, I don't work for them. I promise. I hardly work for anybody, really. Too busy MNing on the whole.

Would this help? wine

AtYourCervix Fri 23-Sep-11 16:47:49

Why the actual fuck should I hire an accountant? surely the very large organisation I work for emply people to do this shit for them? Maybe if they sacked all the imcompetent monkeys they could pay me a bit more and either I would do a better job of sorting out this shit or I could then afford to hire someone competent to do it for me angry

ViviPru Fri 23-Sep-11 16:57:50

Self. Employment.

Avocets Fri 23-Sep-11 18:19:55

Be careful what you wish for - in today's Evening Standard an Irish coroner is reported as having recorded his first ever (perhaps unsurprisingly) case of spontaneous human combustion - of a pensioner aged 75 in his own home. Very odd!

AtYourCervix Fri 23-Sep-11 18:20:21

I can't be self employed. Or at least I could for a year but after 2012 it will be illegal for midwives to work without insurance and it is impossible to get anyone to insure an independent midwife. I am therefore stuffed and have to put up with monkeys screwing up my finances. angry

LineRunner Fri 23-Sep-11 18:27:47

If you could come and punch the little twat who just rang by doorbell ignoring my lovely notice about no cold calling, and asked misleadingly if I had 'had my grants' yet for building work and who wouldn't give his name blah blah, then I will come and take out your payroll and HR department gladly, because I have enough adrenal juice to take out a small central american country right now.

All I wanted was A NICE QUIET HOUR WITH FUCKING MUMSNET without actually feeling unreasonable myself. That's your job.


perplexedpirate Fri 23-Sep-11 18:38:30

I feel your pain.
Payroll, HR and IT have been leading me a merry dance for 3 months and it shows no sign of being resolved any time soon.
No advice, but here's a wine. I'll have one with you.

BeaOnSea Fri 23-Sep-11 18:40:52

<cautiously approaches thread carrying fire extinquisher in case AYC spontaneously combusts>


I have worked for the same Local Authority for 25 years. During those years, payroll/HR have:-

- told our mortgage company that I didn't work there when they took up a reference
- messed up my pension contributions when I went job share which took me -months to sort out.
- not paid me a wage for 3 months because Form 123456765432 (subsection 6 Addendum 3b) was not signed in triplicate by someone I have never heard of.

To name but a few.

MrsRobertDuvall Fri 23-Sep-11 18:46:48

Did you know a man has actually spontaneously combusted in Ireland? It's on the BBC.

AtYourCervix Fri 23-Sep-11 18:47:39

Iwonder if I am actually due a massive Tax rebate. That would be fabulous, however because of the monkeys I am never likely to know.

AtYourCervix Fri 23-Sep-11 18:48:41

good grief shock

titan Fri 23-Sep-11 18:49:52

As soon as I started reading your post I knew you must work for the NHS! Totally feel your pain. They are monkeys. Can't even press the right buttons on their computers usually.

BeerTricksPotter Fri 23-Sep-11 18:53:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AtYourCervix Fri 23-Sep-11 18:57:09

oh excellent - it may be that i owe massive amounts - so after i spend 4 yearsof my life sorting them out i'll be billed for it. and then i will combust.

titan Fri 23-Sep-11 18:57:36

Me too. I was given my tax free allowance twice in 2008. Have been overpaid many times. When I came back from mat leave the guy in HR pressed the wrong button on the hours pay scale and I have been overpaid yet again. Obviously I didn't realise, was pleased about being paid slightly more than expected, and spent it all!

BeaOnSea Fri 23-Sep-11 18:58:16

It gets worse with all the reorganisations & restructures. I have worked for 3 different Departments in the last couple of years without moving from my desk. I just get virtually moved & my contract stopped & renewed.

I think I'm going to take a photograph of myself in front of the office calender every year to prove I was working there -grin

MrsBlarney Fri 23-Sep-11 19:14:46

(what does siob mean, please,

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