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To want a job?

(8 Posts)
ButteryPie Thu 22-Sep-11 21:04:15

I really want to get a job. Just something little, but something where I could feel like I was bringing money into the house, I could have friends at work, I wouldn't have to feel guilty for buying myself a brew in a cafe etc. All the usual stuff.

Thing is, I'm not allowed. Last time I worked (in a call centre) I ended up in hospital and my medical people and family tell me off if I even do too much housework in case it makes me ill. I do various bits of political stuff and writing, but it is all unpaid, and all stuff I could very easily drop with no notice if I felt I was getting ill again or even suddenly became very ill. Same with studying - I am doing a couple of very flexible, light courses, which is really frustrating as I know I could do better.

My illness means that I sometimes lose sight of if I am getting ill, if I am getting ill, if that makes any sense. This is the main reason I am not allowed to work, as I need somebody (ie DH) to keep an eye on whether I am doing an appropriate amount of work and not acting weirdly. He has to do that anyway at home, but I am getting much better now at taking medication, eating regulary and all that stuff and I've not had a really bad day or even a mild hallucination for a good few weeks now.

I know I am excellent at sales and customer service and I have a pretty good CV for somebody who has been off ill so much. Not so many qualifications, but very slowly working towards an OU degree which will hopefully be at a good classification if I keep on, and I know I'm reasonably clever, if that means anything at all.

I'm not even looking for something that uses all my skills though - I just want any job. TBH, it wouldn't even need to pay all that well - because of the benefits I'm on, a part time job wouldn't really leave me that much better off, unless it was amazingly well paid. I'm not too keen on something with really varied income, because of the huge messing about involved with informing benefits people, budgeting etc, but obviously there is always a small aspect of that.

I have done Ann Summers and Usborne (and been really sucessful at both) but they didn't do my health very much good as I got too involved in them.

So, any ideas? I'm even considering volunteering myself for the work focused interviews (I don't need to go to them as I am in the support group of ESA - one of the "lucky" 7%) or trying to find some form of scheme. The thing is though, I have the skills and a good CV - I know there are jobs out there I could get, but I also know that the jobs I could get would most probably make me very ill very quickly, so I'm not sure if the work finding things would be any good. I don't even know if there is a job I could do out there - the benefits people don't seem to think there is, and neither do the medical people. I just feel like I want to be doing something that I can be proud of.

Collision Thu 22-Sep-11 21:11:11

What is your illness?

Could you work in a school?

Work in Tesco for a few hours per week?

mumblechum1 Thu 22-Sep-11 21:13:05

In what way does working make you ill, do you have a bad back or something?

redexpat Thu 22-Sep-11 21:14:54

YANBU but don't know what to suggest.

Bump.

troisgarcons Thu 22-Sep-11 21:15:15

stress and schools dont mix...and i dont think (might be wrong) this remark This is the main reason I am not allowed to work, as I need somebody (ie DH) to keep an eye on whether I am doing an appropriate amount of work and not acting weirdly is in the interests of the children.

mumblechum1 Thu 22-Sep-11 21:18:19

Oh, sorry, so it's a mental health issue then.

I'd just say do as much voluntary work as you can manage, it won't bring money in but it'll get you out of the house at least.

Collision Thu 22-Sep-11 21:20:31

oh yeah, garcons, you might have a point!

ButteryPie Thu 22-Sep-11 21:32:21

I have a serious mental illness. It is unlikely that I would get a job in a school, not because I would be a direct risk to the children, but because, in the unlikely event of me getting symptoms without warning, I would not be responsible enough to look after them, if that makes sense. I would be fine as an "extra" person - eg I am considering volunteering to hear children read in my daughter's school, and there is no problem with that as I can suddenly leave without causing a hazard (obviously I don't mean suddenly running off screaming, but with about ten minutes warning, as I'm not vital as a supervisor) and also I can call in sick without too much hassle being caused. I'm also not legally allowed to drive, and so presumably wouldn't be allowed to operate machinery etc.

I am stable on medication, but I have in the past been very seriously ill, and I still have funding for my youngest to attend nursery so she has the stability and I have a break, and we can up her hours if need be.

I just feel like such a fraud. I'm sat here feeling really well. OK, I left the house for five hours today, and so will have to be really strict with myself about being quiet and still tonight (I don't have music or TV on so as to not over stimulate myself), but I feel fine in myself. I walked past so many shops looking for christmas staff today, on my way to post off yet another benefits form. I'm a reasonably normal looking, well spoken, responsible person, who reads widely and is bringing up two lovely children. I just want to DO something, if that makes sense.

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