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You know if your child was being hit at school...

(12 Posts)
BupcakesandCunting Thu 22-Sep-11 20:42:20

(Reception age) Would you expect the teacher to tell you about it?

It's just that DS (and most of the class, it would seem) have been subject to a bit of fisticuffs by one little boy. I'm sure that they're dealing with it but AIBU to want the teacher to inform me when I collect him? At least I'll know why he's getting in a tizzy about going to school if I know what's going on, then I can re-assure him.

A few other mums have mentioned that they'd rather be told too. I'm thinking of mentioning it to the teacher tomorrow morning. Would I be being reasonable in doing so?

MrsGravy Thu 22-Sep-11 20:49:57

It really depends. If it was a spat between the pair of them, a one off, your child didn't seem bothered and wasn't really hurt then no, not necessarily.

My DS just started reception and has been coming home with all kinds of woeful tales about being hit and pushed into bushes. The truth has come out in dribs and drabs, the hitting was actually more of a mutual playfight and he fell in a bush when his friends were chasing him. I have had a chat with his teacher though to ask her to monitor the situation.

BupcakesandCunting Thu 22-Sep-11 20:53:55

Well, because more than one child has told the same story about this one child, I'm inclined to believe what DS says. Also, I saw it first hand yesterday when I dropped DS off at school (DS sat at a table next to the punchy child and he immediately grabbed DS's arm and squeezed it hard, quite aggressive really)

Blatherskite Thu 22-Sep-11 20:56:46

I'd want to know. Thankfully DS hasn't come home with any stories like this yet!

EdithWeston Thu 22-Sep-11 20:58:19

I think it may be worth mentioning, but couching it strictly in terms of the change in behaviour you've seen in your child (with leading questions about possible causes -eg he's mentioned incidents with XX). Then listen carefully to what the teacher says - this should tell you, directly or indirectly, just how on top of it the school is. Remember that they are the experts in classroom and playground issues, and that you are all on the same side in the wish for every child to be having a positive experience.

Try not to discuss it with other parents - they have only part of the picture, and tiny events can easily become very overblown.

How the teacher engages with you over this should also give you a feel for whether you trust her judgement. There isn't really a need for a blow by blow account of interactions, but if you have reason to think things are being mishandled, then the picture changes. At the moment, you don't have enough to go on.

CoffeeIsMyFriend Thu 22-Sep-11 20:58:54

If I were you I would speak to the teacher and have this nipped in the bud now! Otherwise, this child will still be hurting children in yr 2, 3, ... and think it is ok to do so.

MrsGravy Thu 22-Sep-11 21:00:04

Sorry, just realised I didn't really answer your OP. Def NBU to mention it to the teacher but a little bit unreasonable to expect the teacher to necessarily tell you about hitting.

The little boy my DS complains about is definitely a bit of a thug boisterous and I've heard others complaining about him but in, my case at least, my DS wasn't entirely the victim.

festi Thu 22-Sep-11 21:07:15

I would speack to the teacher it maybe that she is not fully aware of the extent of this childs behaviour. she may not notice the odd thump when getting pe bags or lining up, or the arm squeezing.

SuePurblybilt Thu 22-Sep-11 21:16:43

I'd be speaking to the teacher, yes.

bluelaguna Thu 22-Sep-11 21:22:52

I'd speak to the teacher about it. I think that you can expect the teacher to try and keep an eye on this particular child and try and help him with his behaviour but you can't expect to receive reports such as "that child hit your DS on the arm today". They will tell you if your child was injured or significantly upset, but not otherwise IME. They won't (can't?) tell you which child hit your child.

BupcakesandCunting Thu 22-Sep-11 21:33:21

Oh, I don't expect a report on who did it. I'd just like to know if something has happened that's knocked him off kilter, I suppose. At his pre-school (attached to the same school) they'd always tell us if our children had been hit or what-not. I suppose I thought it would be the same in reception.

WineGoodChildrenBad Thu 22-Sep-11 21:36:30

I think part of the problem with reception is that playtime is probably less monitored - at our school all the infants play out together whereas at nursery they were all together in the small yard with most of the teaching assistants out there with them.

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