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To wonder why anyone with school-aged children would want to be a SAHM?

(1007 Posts)
Badtasteflump Thu 22-Sep-11 13:43:07

And what they do all day?

I have my flame-proof hard-hat ready grin

In the spirit of the general shit-stirring on here today I though I would ask this - as I do really wonder. Fair enough when you have pre-school aged children, I can understand wanting to be a SAHM. But once your children are at school full-time, what is there to do all day?

I work PT (school hours, basically). I manage (jointly with DH) to get all the housework, cooking, diy, etc) done in the evenings & weekends, no problem. If I were at home all day I really think I would go a bit mad - either that or I fear I would gradually become relegated to the role of house-slave, doing all the housework and childcare myself because I wouldn't have the excuse of a 'proper' job. . .

oldraver Thu 22-Sep-11 13:43:58

Because I want to, simple as that.

coccyx Thu 22-Sep-11 13:45:53

Like oldraver because i want to and because I can. I also have a cleaner.
I find plenty of things to do

chocolatejelly Thu 22-Sep-11 13:46:05

Would drive me mad too and the very reason that I have gone back to work PT a whole year before DD goes to school.Opportunity came and I grabbed it.

MrsDaffodill Thu 22-Sep-11 13:46:22

Maybe they don't all want to. Maybe some find a school hours, term-time only job hard to come by and don't have the support to do more. Maybe they are also supporting elderly relatives. Maybe they do a lot of volunteering elsewhere. Maybe they are studying. Maybe, unlike you, they like being a home-maker and get satisfaction from it.

Pagwatch Thu 22-Sep-11 13:47:01

Because I can.

I also have a cleaner so not terribly drudgy.

Life is great thanks.

Badtasteflump Thu 22-Sep-11 13:47:04

But like what coccyx? Seriously, I'm interested.

spiderpig8 Thu 22-Sep-11 13:47:11

Holidays,sickness, inset training days at multiple schools.Before and after schoolcare to get you started!
how many children have you, how big is your house and your gardenand do your children do lots of afterschool clubs to follow on with!

AuntieMonica Thu 22-Sep-11 13:47:15


none of your fucking business


Badtasteflump Thu 22-Sep-11 13:48:23

I'm glad your life is great Pag! So is mine thanks wink

Why doesn't anyone want to tell me what they actually do?

TheReturnoftheSmartArse Thu 22-Sep-11 13:48:35

Actually, I think (well, seems to be the case in my family anyway) that DCs need you more when they're older. Mine would love me to be at home for them when they get in. And I'd like to be there to. But unfortunately I don't have the sort of job which would accommodate those hours.

And don't forget the school holidays all 40 weeks of them, or whatever! (Feels like 40 weeks sometimes ...)

aldiwhore Thu 22-Sep-11 13:48:40

YANBU to wonder, but I think there's plenty of ways to keep busy, and if you don't need a job, or want a job well good on them I say.

TheReturnoftheSmartArse Thu 22-Sep-11 13:49:27

I want to be Pag!

zelda1982 Thu 22-Sep-11 13:49:32

I still have pre-schoolers but when they are at school, if i were to get a job then if one of them is off ill there would be no one to watch them. I have no family here. I would prefer to work from home so i could be there "in case" but those jobs are hard to find.

stepawayfromtheecclescakes Thu 22-Sep-11 13:49:44

take off the judgey pants, some people are at home all day because they are looking for work, some just want to be and can afford to be so YABU. there are loads of things to do with your time too numerous to list but including hobbies, exercise, reading, socialising, classes to leARN NEW SKILLS, VOLUNTEERING ETC ETC, OOPS not meaning to shout blush so keep the hard hat on as I am sure someone less polite will be along soon.

wordfactory Thu 22-Sep-11 13:50:00

I know quite a few women who SAH with school aged DC. Their reasons for doing so are varied.

- some cannot find a job.
- some are fucking lazy
- some are only qualified to do somehting that will take them away from the family foir long hours at a time and don't want to do that.
- some have no childcare or family near by.
- some just like being at home.

MustControlFistOfDeath Thu 22-Sep-11 13:50:17

Why does it bother you OP?

Badtasteflump Thu 22-Sep-11 13:50:17

Were those q's aimed at me? I have 3 DC, a fairly big 4 bed house and about half an acre of garden - which is a bit of a wilderness but there you go (I call it a 'cottage garden' smile)

They do have a couple of afterschool clubs, but I only work PT so pick ups are fine for me.

JillySnooper Thu 22-Sep-11 13:50:20

Because I want to.
Because I have plenty of money so can afford to.
Because I prefer to spend my days with friends of my choosing rather than colleagues I might loathe.
Because I have interests and hobbies that I love and can indulge in.
Because my children love it.
Because my husband loves it.
Because my parents love it.
Because I enjoy my voluntary and community work.
Because I can think of nothing worse than being on someone else's time.

Because people who say they would go mad being a SAHM must have either a pitiful imagination or a tedious home life.

That help ya?

Voidka Thu 22-Sep-11 13:51:35

Because I can.
Why does it bother you what I do?

AuntieMonica Thu 22-Sep-11 13:52:10

the only person i would feel the need to justify my day to is someone who is paying me to do something.

until you are that person, beak out grin

honestly though, why the need to know? we all do the same things, just some of us take longer at some tasks than others, some of refuse to do some tasks, some take on extra <shrugs>

oh yes, and i shag the window cleaner grin

iliketherain Thu 22-Sep-11 13:52:11

I work 4 hours a day four days a week.

but if I didnt work I would find plenty to do.

Not including the household chores.

I would

take photos [its my hobby]
watch films
meet people

etc etc etc


JillySnooper Thu 22-Sep-11 13:52:13

Oh, and I have a big house, acres of land and four horses to ride and care for aswell as plenty of children.

Badtasteflump Thu 22-Sep-11 13:53:01

It doesn't bother me as such, but it does interest me.

I was walking back from the school this morning behind two mums who were obviously SAHMs. One was moaning that she's got 'another day of cleaning the house' and the other was agreeing with her. So it got me thinking. That's all. Why are you all so angry and bitter about me asking? grin

coccyx Thu 22-Sep-11 13:53:05

Well, i go to gym, swimming, visit Dh's not so well parents, shopping, gardening,cooking, i volunteer at dog rescue once a week , meet friends and mum for a coffee and catch up. I find the school day whizzes by

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