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invited to the hen do but not the wedding.

(145 Posts)
StrandedBear Thu 22-Sep-11 12:52:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Janiston Thu 22-Sep-11 12:53:05

Totally unacceptable.

fanjobanjowanjo Thu 22-Sep-11 12:53:09

I'd ask where your invite is. This isn't normal at all!

BimboNo5 Thu 22-Sep-11 12:55:25

I wouldn't go to the hen do. Although I went one someones hen do and wasn't invited to the wedding as one of the brides friends (who I knew but didnt spend any deal of time with at any point) invited me as others had dropped out and there were spare places and I wanted to go to see some of my other pals who were going.

Petesmum Thu 22-Sep-11 12:58:03

I don't think being asked to the hen do but not the wedding is unacceptable. I did this for my hen do and no one complained / grumbled - at least not to my face! But there were a number of people in this category.
However if you're the only one invited to the hen do and not the wedding itself then I think that's unfair and not acceptable.
I guess you can either ask where your invite is directly, send her your address as a hint or deceide that you're busy that weekend and not attend her hen do

ChristinedePizan Thu 22-Sep-11 12:58:15

No, that's awful! I'm not surprised you're hurt sad

AKMD Thu 22-Sep-11 12:59:31

I wouldn't be too hasty if the invites haven't already gone out - maybe she asked the others for addresses but not you because she already knows your address?

If you really aren't invited, it isn't really on. This is acceptable in a situation like where a person is having a small wedding but wants to include everyone so has a big night out beforehand for work colleagues, acquaintances etc.

PrettyCandles Thu 22-Sep-11 12:59:39

"asked for address to post invite" - so invitations haven't been sent yet? Could it just be that she's got your address and didn't need to ask for it? Could it be that she didn't realise that she hadn't checked your address?

rubyrubyruby Thu 22-Sep-11 12:59:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catsdontcare Thu 22-Sep-11 12:59:52

I think that's off I wouldn't go.

AngryFeet Thu 22-Sep-11 13:00:05

Very very rude. I would say something to her.

ThePrincessRoyalFiggyrolls Thu 22-Sep-11 13:01:21

Same thing happened to my dh, he was invited to an astronomically expensive stag do but we weren't invited to the wedding. I appreciate that weddings can be small etc but when asking for nearly £700 for a stag you would think you would only invite the people who you invited to the wedding. I told him he couldn't go. He didn't want to anyway as he thought we were close friends but apparently not. Everyone else invited on the stag was invited to the wedding.

VelvetSnow Thu 22-Sep-11 13:01:32

send her a wedding acceptance card - see what she says smile

Catslikehats Thu 22-Sep-11 13:03:39

Unbelievably being rude in these circumstances. If your friend was getting married with close family only then that would probably be forgiveable but this is bizarre confused

picnicbasketcase Thu 22-Sep-11 13:04:49

I bet this is a mistake of some kind - she either didn't need your address as she has it already, or has got it from someone else, or you haven't received the invite yet etc. And if it's not a mistake, it's incredibly rude and thoughtless to expect you to pay out and turn up for the hen night.

cookcleanerchaufferetc Thu 22-Sep-11 13:06:54

No way! Surely not! What a cow! I hope it is a mistake. why on earth would anyone invite a friend to the hen night but not the wedding, unless they are - sorry - being really cheap?! It must be a mistake .....

ChooChooWowWow Thu 22-Sep-11 13:08:14

Are you sure you are not invited to the wedding?. I can't think of any excuse for such rudeness. I wouldn't go to the hen party and I think you should tell her she is a cheeky cow. grin

Badtasteflump Thu 22-Sep-11 13:08:39

YANBU.

I would tell her you're a bit worried that your invitation has been lost in the post as it hasn't turned up yet smile

squeakytoy Thu 22-Sep-11 13:11:10

Definately unacceptable, but possibly a misunderstanding unless there is anyone in the family who you would not get on with at the wedding.

My stepdaughter invited a friend to her hen-do, but not the wedding because her friend was an ex of my stepson, who would be there with his partner, and it would have caused problems. All parties were understanding of this and happy about it though.

Bluesue26 Thu 22-Sep-11 13:12:04

Agree with picnic, it's probably a mistake of some kind. Ask one of the others going on the hen night if they're going to the wedding. There must be a delay with the invites.

redskyatnight Thu 22-Sep-11 13:12:45

I don't think being invited to the hen night but not wedding is particularly odd. IME hen nights can involve (e.g) more casual friends, work colleagues etc and weddings are for more established friends and family. i've been to loads of hen nights but not the weddings (surprised others think this is off).

I do think it is bad to be the only one in a group of friends not invited. But as no one has their invites yet, I think you may be prematurely annoyed!

WilsonFrickett Thu 22-Sep-11 13:14:54

I would check before you do anything. I once hosted a hen night at my house - catered, decorated, entertainment, the lot - and didn't get an invite to the wedding. I was just on the point of phoning the bride to give her a right slap enquire politely, when I mentioned it to a mutual friend who knew I had been invited. The invite had got lost in the post blush - of course it had, who lets someone throw them a hen night then doesn't invite them to the wedding!

If you aren't getting invited then, yes, I would be hurt. I invited some work pals to my hen but not the wedding, but they were Friday night accquaintances, this sounds a bit off to me... but do check first.

fanjobanjowanjo Thu 22-Sep-11 13:15:11

I don't think being asked to the hen do but not the wedding is unacceptable. I did this for my hen do and no one complained / grumbled - at least not to my face! But there were a number of people in this category.

I don't understand why you would invite to the hen, but not the wedding. For me the hen is celebrating my last night of "freedom" which I would want to do with close friends, who are invited to the wedding.

Out of curiosity, why did yours happen this way?

HerHissyness Thu 22-Sep-11 13:15:43

..maybe she didn't ask you for the address cos she already has it??? [helpful] [hopeful]

HerHissyness Thu 22-Sep-11 13:16:34

if you know she doesn't have it, email her and say you forgot to give her your address.... and then see what she says.

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