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AIBU to expect dh to eat if he's hungry?

(35 Posts)
theredsalamander Tue 20-Sep-11 20:43:29

This is a l

theredsalamander Tue 20-Sep-11 20:44:21

Oops sorry i trigger finger!

OpenMouthInsertFoot Tue 20-Sep-11 20:45:32

shorter than you thought it was going to be, eh? grin

OpenMouthInsertFoot Tue 20-Sep-11 20:46:28

ooh, just for fun, can I hazard a guess while you're typing?

He doesn't fancy what's on offer or can't be bothered to make something but he's moaning about hunger?

ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld Tue 20-Sep-11 20:47:50

confused

TooImmature2BDumbledore Tue 20-Sep-11 20:49:19

You get home late and he says he's starving but hasn't eaten anything, and begs you to feed him? And you just want to slap him and say are you incapable of putting toast in the toaster?

worraliberty Tue 20-Sep-11 20:49:28

Has he eaten your keyboard?

MurunBuchstansangur Tue 20-Sep-11 20:50:33

Mine stares at a menu in a restaurant, getting livid with hunger hangry and he can't choose what to have, so it takes ages and he gets more and more livid!!

OpenMouthInsertFoot Tue 20-Sep-11 20:51:23

Oooh, that's probably it. He's been at work all day and has come home saying he didn't eat and he's been hungry all day and there'll be some moaning or expectation of OP magicking up a plate of grub sharpish! grin

theredsalamander Tue 20-Sep-11 20:55:53

Twice! Sorry.
DH is a slave to his blood sugar. If he's hungry, his mood is utterly vile but he seems unable to spot this himself and needs me to tell him. Which is invariably met with the same response as I would give if he was to ask me if I was due on whilst we in the midst of a row. ie f the f off how dare you smile

I have to plonk some toast/other sizeable snack in front of him - asking him what he'd like to eat will get a response of "nothing" so I shove it under his nose so he can eat without noticing, whilst ranting and seething.

Minutes later he's fine again - literally before he's finished his last mouthful. And is apologetic for his ill manners rude behaviour and general grumpiness. But this is SO predictable -together 17 years and has always been the same- that I wonder- am I being unreasonable to expect him to take responsibility for improving his mood when it is so simple to do? Why should I have to bear the brunt of his ire and have to pick him up out of his hole of despair? He can be incredibly unpleasant- I know its just his hunger so not really him iykwim- but I am fed up with him being an arse!

So AIBU?

theredsalamander Tue 20-Sep-11 20:57:17

Ahahahahahahah I like your ponderings more!!

worraliberty Tue 20-Sep-11 20:58:01

YANBU

But I read your nickname as 'the red salad minder'

I was fully prepared at that point to say YABU...let him mind his own salad.

Mandy2003 Tue 20-Sep-11 20:59:35

Don't cloud the issue by feeding him. Just give him Lucozade to raise his blood sugar then he will be able to decide calmly whether he wants to eat or not.

OpenMouthInsertFoot Tue 20-Sep-11 21:02:09

Am I right in thinking that when your blood sugar plummets it affects your judgement, so by the time he's grumpy, he might not be clear enough to be physically able to think it through and realise what's the matter?

But he shouldn't let himself get into that state (if that's the case and I'm not imagining symptoms grin ) by ensuring that he eats at regular intervals, to avoid the drop in the first place. And he should certainly take responsibility for this! Perhaps a talk about it (when he's ok of course) maybe a reminder beep set on his phone or something?

ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld Tue 20-Sep-11 21:02:50

YANBU I get cranky when I get hungry but I don't blame anyone else for it. He needs to take responsibility for his moods and make himself something to eat when he starts feeling hungry.

HappySeven Tue 20-Sep-11 21:02:55

I have to admit I can be a bit like that and I know several diabetics who have acted very out of character and violently when their blood sugar is low so maybe he really can't help it? Can understand how annoying it is for you though!! Sounds like you deal with it well.

theredsalamander Tue 20-Sep-11 21:03:52

Worraliberty I nearly called myself FacWoodenSquiwwel

worraliberty Tue 20-Sep-11 21:05:09

The mind boggles!! grin

cheesesarnie Tue 20-Sep-11 21:05:43

i do the same as your dhblush
i dont ever feel hungry but notice when my mood/concentration dips.

eurochick Tue 20-Sep-11 21:06:08

Oooo, this sounds very familiar. I was like that for years. It was always particularly bad if I was out from home and forgot to eat. I would get very irritable and my head would start spinning. Eating would remedy it very quickly although I would be left feeling a bit odd for a few hours after getting very hungry.

I have PCOS (this is relevant - keep reading!), diagnosed years ago before much was known about the condition and it was thought of as a pure gynae issue and the interraction with other hormones (including insulin) was not well known. A friend mentioned she was on a PCOS diet and recommended the book she got it from to me. The book is about the condition in general and I read about the symptoms you described and learnt that they indicate insulin resistance. I had no idea it had a name or that it wasn't normal - it was normal for me! I now eat a low(ish) GI diet and feel hungry in my stomach rather than my head. It was a revelation. I had no idea that hunger was supposed to feel like that.

Although mine is linked to PCOS, men can be affected by insulin resistance too. Your husband should try eating lower GI food and cutting down on refined sugar. Not only will he feel better, but insulin resistance is often a precursor to type II diabetes so he should do his best to get it under control. Basically the pancreas overworks to pump out lots of insulin when he eats something sugary which sends his blood sugar too low, he gets hungry and grumpy, eats something sugary or with refined carbs and the whole cycle starts again with his pancreas working overtime.

PS - I bet he loves carbs, right?

theredsalamander Tue 20-Sep-11 21:06:09

Oh lawksamercy I did it again! Bloody iPhone and landscape typing blush
i nealy called myself FackingWoodenSquiwwel after Nan so love your name!

PatriciaHolm Tue 20-Sep-11 21:06:36

Are you married to my husband?!!

I get very annoyed too. I think at the grand old age of 41 he should be well aware of how he behaves if hungry, so should a. eat frequently and b. deal with it!

LoveInAColdClimate Tue 20-Sep-11 21:07:29

I was also going to suggest Lucozade. Shamingly, I am just like your DH but also can't spot that I'm hungry blush. I will only realise when I eat something and immediately feel awful about my previous behaviour. If I notice, though (big if) Lucozade is a good quick fix.

theredsalamander Tue 20-Sep-11 21:10:17

Eurochick- yes he is a big fan of carbs. There is diabetes in his family and I has often wondered whether the fact that his blood sugar plays such a big part in his mood from hour to hour indicated some sort if predisposition to diabetes. Will go and have a google on insulin resistance- thanks!

Onlyaphase Tue 20-Sep-11 21:11:11

Can you video him so he can see his behaviour before eating and afterwards? Then explain you are not his mother and he is an adult and should be able to look after himself?

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