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I went away for a week and had to cancel plans. Who was BU?

(9 Posts)
BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability Tue 20-Sep-11 15:13:13

I'm suffering rather badly from morning sickness, and have a nearly 1yo DS, my DH was on a run of night shifts, so when my mum suggested I go to stay with her and my dad for a week and they'd help look after DS, I jumped at the chance.
This then meant that we missed a DHs cousins DSs first birthday party, which I thought would be okay (DH cousin knows I'm preg though its not common knowledge yet), plus I didnt realise that it meant we also missed a rare visit from FIL and his wife (they also know I'm preg). Btw, they planned their visit without checking DHs shift pattern, so he is (secretly, but I know he is) annoyed that we havent seen them for months but they didnt check to see if they could actually see him. And he'd forgotten when it was as they werent coming to see him, and I didnt have a clue. (Plus to give a bit of background, they have also cancelled plans to go on holiday with us this winter as they needed to give BIL money as he quit his job hmm )
So apparently at the cousins birthday party, she made sure to tell as many people as possible that I'd skipped off to scotland, annoying both her and FIL. I assume that she didnt tell anyone why I needed the help with DS?

WIBU to go?
Are they BU to be annoyed?

mumsamilitant Tue 20-Sep-11 15:19:02

Don't know if I've read this correct... Did DP go with you? If not why didn't he go to the gathering? It's his family. You said DP was on nights, was the party a daytime thing?

Dozer Tue 20-Sep-11 15:19:52

YANBU on the birthday party. The cousin sounds like a cow.

Your DH WAlittleBU on the visit from FIL and his wife, but they should've checked first.

Sounds like you and especially your DH need to communicate more about diary matters and only accept things firmly if you'll definitely go (since his family are precious about it).

I like the if you wouldn't fancy doing it tomorrow, turn it down approach!

dangalf Tue 20-Sep-11 15:20:09

YANBU - A cousin's child's 1st birthday party is not a big deal to miss in my book. Esp given that you're pregnant, having a tough tmie, and getting help from your parents. Don't worry about it.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability Tue 20-Sep-11 15:20:50

DH stayed home, the party was in the afternoon while he was on nights so he couldnt go as he was asleep. (he works 12 hour shifts btw, he literally sleeps, eats and works when he is working)

IrmaMuthafucker Tue 20-Sep-11 15:22:00

All sounds a bit hearsay-ish to me. I wouldn't stress it. Congratulations btw!

diddl Tue 20-Sep-11 15:28:15

So you went to stay with your mum & missed a kid´s first b/day party-so what?

And FILs wife-well, how stupid to visit without checking!

And if your husband is annoyed-can he not visit or pick up the phone to arrange something?

mumsamilitant Tue 20-Sep-11 16:26:18

Yep, as everyone said, take no notice. They'll be slagging someone else off talking about someone else next week.

Know what its like to have all ruddy day sickness, you poor thing sad

AuntiePickleBottom Tue 20-Sep-11 16:31:22

yanbu, i had awful morning sickness on my 2nd and if someone i trusted offered me to stay for a week and look after me and my son i would of jumped at the chance

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