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to be pissed off that my 'd' h has looked at my credit report behind my back

(27 Posts)
filibear Mon 19-Sep-11 14:44:12

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mumsamilitant Mon 19-Sep-11 15:41:17

No, you're not being unreasonable. Bloody cheek. Confront him.

Flisspaps Mon 19-Sep-11 15:42:40

YANBU. Asking if you can have a look through both of your reports together is one thing, checking tours without asking you is something else.

pippilongsmurfing Mon 19-Sep-11 15:44:40

No, YANBU. I would be beyond fumong if DH did this without telling/asking me first.

How sneaky and horrible for you. Have you asked him why he thought it would be OK to do this behind your back?

I think it's illegal to check someone else's credit file. I know when DH and I did ours that I couldn't do them both, he had to do his himself.

Flisspaps Mon 19-Sep-11 15:45:04

your

filibear Mon 19-Sep-11 15:54:21

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Well, without knowing more its hard to tell....you say YOU have had debt issues........did you get yourself and DH into debt then?? If you did then I cant blame him for checking up on you TBH although he maybe should have just outright asked you and accepted your answer.

SardineQueen Mon 19-Sep-11 16:28:57

Christ almighty I would do my nut.

He should have asked you.

That is so out of order.

filibear Mon 19-Sep-11 16:29:41

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ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld Mon 19-Sep-11 16:35:54

YANBU He shouldn't have gone behind you back like that.

HandsOffOurLand Mon 19-Sep-11 16:43:19

Well ... hard to say without knowing more. But I think that being married means sharing money, and that he has a right to know (in the same way that you would have a right to know if it were the other way round). Maybe he thought you'd over-react if he asked you? As for feeling 'violated', I'd save that for something bigger.

aldiwhore Mon 19-Sep-11 17:06:54

YANBU..... but I don't know about anyone else, but DH and I both know each other's credit history, its part and parcel of our financial planning as a unit/tag team.

We're both screwed!

YABU because you should both be open, being married and all. I'm not saying you can't have any privacy at all, or your own money, but I'd have thought that anything that could affect joint future financial decisions is something that should be known to each other. I still have my own account as does Dh (in fact I think mine's still in my maiden name after 11 years of marriage) I don't physically show him my statements, but they're not hidden.

AnyoneButLulu Mon 19-Sep-11 18:25:01

I'd talk to him, but not necessarily go off on one. After all your credit scores are linked, so he has a legitimate interest in knowing. Not telling you is a bit off, but he may just not have seen it from your perspective as an invasion of privacy.

If I was researching our mortgage options, say, then I might run credit checks to see what was possible - I might not tell DH until I presented him with a summary of my proposal at the end of the process.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 19-Sep-11 18:42:21

Are you sure? Most credit checking companies don't allow credit records to go out about anyone without their permission. You can only ask for your own, normally. If you ask for your own records you can find you get details of other people in the house.... even previous occupants sometimes. But that would be slightly different.

SardineQueen Mon 19-Sep-11 19:20:56

How do they check who is checking if it's all online though cogito?

butterflyexperience Mon 19-Sep-11 19:25:02

Is this one of those where you've checked your Dh credit rating and wondering if he can find out through Internet history?

How could you tell through page history?
Credit score would be a secure page and not be cached in a browser history.

Me thinks something odd going on here hmm

ladyintheradiator Mon 19-Sep-11 19:25:21

I suppose you need to find out what it is that made him check in the first place.

scuzy Mon 19-Sep-11 19:26:16

before you go all guns blazing is there any other reason he could have checked maybe a joint venture he is thinking of etc. ask him calmly why?

BluddyMoFo Mon 19-Sep-11 19:27:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scuzy Mon 19-Sep-11 19:29:00

if your credit is fine and have nothing to hide so to speak you getting angry at him may may him think he must check it more often!!

do you contribute financially jointly or seperately? perhaps there was no sneakiness involved on his part

anewmotivatedme Mon 19-Sep-11 19:31:02

Sort of thing I would do on DH. Sorry

ivykaty44 Mon 19-Sep-11 19:31:41

You are not allowed legally to check, it is a breach of data protection. This is regardless of whether you are married or living together or not married.

filibear Mon 19-Sep-11 19:39:42

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filibear Mon 19-Sep-11 19:44:18

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SwingingBetty Mon 19-Sep-11 19:48:49

god, my OH knows everything about me and vice versa

but we have been married for 30 years, thats probably one of the reasons why, cos we are so open with each other

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