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to be nearly forty and feel like I'm only just getting started!

(28 Posts)
MenacingDennis Mon 19-Sep-11 12:28:56

Does anyone else feel like this? I feel like my life is truly coming together, I have a husband who I love, two beautiful kids, a newish career that I really enjoy and hope to do well at. My teens and twenties were not so happy, full of self doubt and uncertainty, doing work that I hated and in the wrong relationships. It's all good now, but sometimes I struggle with the feeling that once you hit your forties the best is sort of behind you. That's rubbish though isn't it? Can the best still be ahead?

Happymm Mon 19-Sep-11 12:30:41

Bloody hope so grin

WhereDidAllThePuffinsGo Mon 19-Sep-11 12:32:07

Better be! I have 3 children, no career and we've just moved to a new area so no friends either. I'm 40 next year.

Bring it on!

hellymelly Mon 19-Sep-11 12:33:48

My twenties were rubbish too,I vastly prefer being in my forties (aside from the looming decrepitude).

WhereDidAllThePuffinsGo Mon 19-Sep-11 12:34:05

Btw, Winston Churchill was 65 when WW2 started.

MenacingDennis Mon 19-Sep-11 12:34:34

Exactly! And I didn't say this in my OP because it's a bit superficial, but I'm also hoping that I can still be attractive (well, to the extent I ever was). Although, I should know that's possible because I see plenty of attractive 40 year olds (and older) all over the place!

Ormirian Mon 19-Sep-11 12:35:26

I know exactly what you mean! The best can still be ahead if you are prepared to accept that physically things are going to change. I was having a whale of a time until I reached about 43 - then I got hit by various health issues - but my life is better than it ever was. I am much more optimistic generally.

Only downside is that my parents are now really elderly and beginning to go downhill. But that won't be the case for everyone.

MenacingDennis Mon 19-Sep-11 12:36:02

Like that about Winston. Got images of me with grey hair striding around wearing combat gear now ... quite like it although the kids might find it embarrassing.

windatmytail Mon 19-Sep-11 12:37:14

I'm 39 and started to feel it was all coming together last year, almost exactly the same story as you - not great teens and twenties, worked hard at it through my thirties and now have a lovely DH, two great DC's and a brand new career that I love!
Loving happiness and convinced that I have done all the right things for once smile

Stoirin Mon 19-Sep-11 12:39:53

at your age you should probably know the difference between AIBU and chat, at the least.

MenacingDennis Mon 19-Sep-11 12:46:11

Oh dear. I don't use Mumsnet that often, so apologies if I've posted in the wrong place. But I'll never too old to be surprised when people are gratuitously unfriendly.

Kladdkaka Mon 19-Sep-11 12:49:39

I'm nearly 40 (shock) and only just getting started too. Started a law degree in February and swing between excitement at finally having a direction and despair at the fact that it's all too late and I'll be dead soon.

OliPocket Mon 19-Sep-11 13:03:09

MenacingDennis - I applaud you for your fabulous comeback and your even more fabulous comeback in your last post grin

WakeMeUpWhenSeptemberEnds Mon 19-Sep-11 13:12:13

YANBU (does that make my reply in the wrong place?)

I feel the same way.

LadySybilPussPolham Mon 19-Sep-11 13:26:51

I like you Dennis grin

Fatshionista Mon 19-Sep-11 13:30:33

I hope I do. When I'm 40 my children will be 20 and 18 so I think I'll feel like my life is just getting started just as theirs is. I'll have time to focus on my marriage (hopefully - DP and I are in it for the long haul and getting married next year), my career and myself.

northernrock Mon 19-Sep-11 13:32:19

Wow Kladdkaka, thats great that you are starting a law degree. And you might not be dead soongrin
Much better to find what you want to do relatively late on in life-and then do it, rather that saying "coulda shoulda woulda"
I imagine you will be rather like Julianna Margulies in The Good Wife, only possibly with less scary make-up.

Andrewofgg Mon 19-Sep-11 13:37:25

Oh Kladdkaka very good luck to you. Can you say where (or at least in what country) you are doing the degree without outing yourself?

My late stepfather said that life began when the children left home and the dog died. DBF put down that flame-thrower, he did not say was pts and I'm not saying I agree and in any event he was not serious, he never kept a dog in his life!

thefirstmrsrochester Mon 19-Sep-11 13:39:20

grin Dennis

Kladdkaka Mon 19-Sep-11 13:48:40

Andrew, I'm in Sweden but I'm studying with the Open University with a view to eventually coming home. I would have quite liked to do it here but my Swedish is no way good enough for study at that level. My back up plan is that by the time I complete my course (assuming I haven't died of old age), my Swedish will be fabulous and I can do a 1 year conversion course to Swedish law. Or plan C, buy a Ryanair season ticket.

SoftKittyWarmKitty Mon 19-Sep-11 14:02:52

I hope it gets better because I'm 40 in just under a year and have fuck all to look forward to (apart from DS, and he's growing up and will have left home before I know it - waaaahhh).

Andrewofgg Mon 19-Sep-11 14:33:59

Kladdkaka If Plan C involves Ryanair Plan D must involve regular baths in rancid molten treacle grin

spiderpig8 Mon 19-Sep-11 15:10:03

well, the saying 'life begins at 40' must have come from somewhere

weejimmykrankie Mon 19-Sep-11 17:10:11

Well I'm 38 and I was thinking it was all finally coming together cos I finally have a boyfriend who i can imagine settling down and having DC with. But reading all these posts I now feel like it's happened far, far too late sad

40notTrendy Mon 19-Sep-11 17:16:04

It's a funny age. I still can't believe I'm a grown up grin, but I can't help feeling that I'm running out of time. Life is good, has been good but there's still so much I want to do and achieve and own. What if I run out of time?!!

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